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MystyrMystyry
12-10-2012, 06:47 AM
I saw something strange at the midnight hour
A lizard iceskating upon a frozen leaf
Thence at a minute past the budding flower
Gobbled by a snail - the garden thief

A frog in the pond burped before his dinner
A Moth who mistook a glint in an eye
For a sparkling candle - Mr Frog the winner
Burped again as a damselfly smiled by

The stars twinkled as if suspended by strings
And the rabbit twiched nose and ears
Hopped into her burrow to pack some things
A holiday for the critter - first in years

A spider climbed to the top of its silv'ry thread
To retire to his cobwebby old library
'It always pays for a fellow to be well-read'
Holding books in legs long and hairy

The gnomes unfroze and commenced a dance
The ritual hunting of a blue butterfly
Smooth choreography in their Tai Chi trance
Once interrupted by a flash in the sky

Lightning there came, followed by thunder
As rain in torrent flooded the gazebo
Garden tenants ran for shelter to be under
Many washed away by the river flow

Frantic rabbit quick battens down the hatch
Lizard leaps to cower beneath a rock
Spider sprays webs for a protective thatch
Frog braces himself and takes stock

I saw something strange in the midnight hour
Nature at its wildest over the world
Fiercely unleashing all its pent up power
Landscape swept as its force unfurled

Pete Ak
12-10-2012, 09:17 AM
I Like the idea that underpins the poem and the dreamlike images work very well. Technically the poem could be brushed up i reckon. If you even out some of the syllable counts and have another look at some of the rhymes eg., library - hairy; gazebo - flow. These rhyme of course but because we stress certain syllables over others it makes them sound very irregular. Hope this helps.

tailor STATELY
12-10-2012, 06:23 PM
Wonderful piece MystyrMystyry

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

AuntShecky
12-11-2012, 06:32 PM
This one's remarkable for its whimsical charm. Something about it which I can't quite pinpoint reminds me of Lewis Carroll.
Some of the metrics can be tightened to make smoother reading, because it begs to be read
aloud!

Bar22do
12-11-2012, 06:47 PM
Wow, except for the rather dramatic flood, it reminds me of A Midsummer Night's Dream!

E X Q U I S I T E!!! MM!!

MystyrMystyry
12-16-2012, 04:40 AM
Thanks Peter Ak :)

MystyrMystyry
12-16-2012, 04:41 AM
Thankyou Tailor Stately :)

MystyrMystyry
12-16-2012, 04:41 AM
Thankyou Aunty! :)

MystyrMystyry
12-16-2012, 04:42 AM
Thankyou Bar22do!!! :)