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alex4
12-04-2012, 01:13 PM
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hillwalker
12-04-2012, 02:56 PM
Rather too introverted and cerebral to mean much to anyone other than the writer I fear.

H

alex4
12-04-2012, 03:25 PM
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WolfLarsen
12-09-2012, 11:43 AM
This is interesting writing. It is interesting because it is unusual. It's not every day you get to read something like this.

But, it is a little boring. Introverted does not have to be boring. I don't think that cerebral has to be boring either.

And even though the piece is just a little boring I still think it is far less boring than most of the stuff I find on the Internet. Most of the other stuff on the Internet is monotonously the same.

Please keep writing and posting. Thank you.

AuntShecky
12-10-2012, 05:43 PM
It's a promising germ of an idea, but the execution strikes me as somewhat abstract. You could inject some life into the story with some tangible imagery -- people, places, and things
which we could conceivably see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. Not a small order when the topic is nothingness; but there are several models in literature in which great authors have written about existential nihilism and the alienated self in vibrant and compelling ways. What's missing is the human factor, expressed in dialogue and non-verbal ways of social interaction. In other words, once again I'm reiterating Auntie's mantra: "Show, don't tell."

alex4
12-12-2012, 08:18 PM
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Delta40
12-13-2012, 06:10 PM
I definitely agree with the above comments and I love the idea of 'surgery' Alex! - paddles and a blood transfusion would definitely help.