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Delta40
11-26-2012, 06:30 PM
Don't go
stay
and muscles stretch
till I go
pop
like us,
feeding back
go forth
finding courage
to stand
still in
our own
antique shop
once you
were
some unstitched hem
and me walking
sticks today
gone tomorrow
so unlikely
on this cobbled path
without a leg
we stand
sometimes
we happen
to be
enough

PrinceMyshkin
11-26-2012, 10:52 PM
I like the hurky-jerky motion throughout this but didn't feel confident how to read the last 4 lines (assuming, that is, that "sometimes" belongs with the final 3 lines, although it might appear equally to belong to the 2 lines before it). I think a blank line either before or after "sometimes" might clear that up. But there still wouldn't be enough to prepare me for the calm resignation in those final lines.

Delta40
11-26-2012, 10:57 PM
Thanks Prince. Well I guess that is the whole point of the poem - to read a different message in the lines.