Shipwreck

[Lykren]

Shipwreck
mixes dust
into the water.
My heart settles
from its African drumming
and the water rises up
in girlish waves.
Echoes of the beat
carry on, pause
before each stranded listener.
The earth bends before me
and its beauty blossoms.

I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for any comments!

[hallaig]

I like the sound of this but I'm afraid I'm too thick to divine what it means. who are the stranded listeners? I'm one I think.

[Lykren]

hallaig - I guess I didn't really have a meaning in mind when I wrote this one. So, I can't really tell you who the stranded listeners are, other than that I like your idea that the reader is one. Thanks for commenting!

[Delta40]

It rather sounds to me like an aftermath given your descriptors like 'girlish waves' and 'my heart settles'. However, I enjoyed it.

[Haunted]

I liked the first 3 lines, it seems that you were going somewhere with it but it leaves me high and dry, literally. I don't understand what "girlie waves" are, and what that's got to do with Africa. So I'm sorry to say that the randomness is not worth the time for me, even though it was a pleasant read. You said you didn't really have a meaning in mind when you wrote it, I guess it's ok but personally if I didn't know what I'm talking about, I wouldn't torture my readers by posting anything. But that's just me. It's easy to write anything without any meaning, I can open a dictionary, pull out some nouns and adjectives and voila, I got a poem! But that's not the point. I encourage you to challenge yourself to try harder and find some meaningful thing to write about. Writing is really about thinking, it's more than just throwing a bunch of nice words on a piece of paper. It's hard work.

[Lykren]

Haunted -

Thanks for your insights. I'm not sure we agree about the essential nature of writing poetry, but you are right when you say that putting more thought into this poem is necessary. There's a poem of mine on the boards I feel I did put more intention into; it's called 'You'. Would you be so kind as to tell me what you think of that one?

[Haunted]

No problem. I left a comment.