God at the Rose and Crown

[Jerrybaldy]

I met God at the Rose and Crown,
he was drinking a Holsten.
He had forgiven the Germans,
I thought he might be working on the Taliban
or he may have been contemplating
the tang of his prawn cocktail crisps.
A fight broke out,
I thought he would intervene
but he just had a look on his face
like ‘here we go again’.
Christ, you know it ain't easy.
I bought him a pint.
I think he said,
‘Allah is my brother’
or his lover or his mother.
I couldn’t really hear,
Norman Greenbaum was playing loudly.
How God laughed as we pointed at him,
chanting ‘Spirit in the sky’.
After closing time, we went to the chip shop
playing football with a bottle on the way;
God had a crappy left foot.
He plucked a pickled egg from the jar,
as chickens turned on spits
‘Body of christ’ said God.
‘60 pence’ said the woman in the hairnet.
I walked home with a battered sausage,
I think he cadged a lift.

[Haunted]

This is so unique and amusing, still conveying the seriousness of world conflict and life's sordidness. This is yet your best signature piece.

[DieterM]

There are many good lines (if not all of them), but my two favourites are doubtlessly << ‘Body of christ’ said God. / ‘60 pence’ said the woman in the hairnet. >> For the rest, I couldn't say it better than Haunted.

[hillwalker]

Absolute classic - this could go on and on and I'd never tire of reading it.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Thank you Haunted, Dieter and Hill. I had a gas writing this one, guess that came through for you :)

[Hawkman]

I'm convinced the God you met was actually Baccus, especially if his sacrements are beer and pickled eggs, although he seems to have been slumming it. I'd normally expect to find him in a yuppie wine bar. :D

Line 4 I'd be inclined to replace "may" with "might" so that you don't repeat the word in successive lines. Line 8 has the word "may" again. I'm not keen on the over use of this word. The way the sentence is strucuctured you could put a comma after "thought" e.g. "I thought, 'he may intervene'" but as you use the device later it's probably better just to say, "I thought he would intervene". There's an apostrophe missing from "ain't". You don't need "that" at the end of L13. I rather like the near quote from the WW1 Soldiers' song, "Send for me mother, me sister or me brother, but for gawd's sake don't send me."

My only other quibble with the piece is in the last line, "I think he had a lift." "Had" is really weak here. I'd be inclined to say "cadged a lift" which implies so much more. BTW, Did you know that Cadging a lift is an old flaconry term? A cadge is a legged frame which a servant would have worn suspended from his shoulders for Hawks to sit on.

Another place this poem took me, especially with your mention of forgiving Germans, was the 1968 film "Battle of Britain." There is a scene where an old cockney is seen wandering through the tube in a daze, repeating, "They got the Rose'n Crahn," And two unsympathetic women comment, "He'll have to drink somewhere else now, won't he," to which the reply was, "If they'll 'ave 'im."

It is an enjoyable read JB with nicely wry comment and humour.

Live and be well - H

[Bar22do]

A nice fellow, God. Not so much "spirit in the sky," but what a great juxtaposition of Greenbaum and Allah. Enjoyed the whole poem A LOT!

[Jerrybaldy]

Hey Hawk, thanks for all your valid points, have acted upon them all and made a few more, thanks for taking the time. I fondly remember watching 'Battle of Britain' years back, but boy you have a memory for detail :D

Thank you Bar, glad you enjoyed

best wishes
JB