Inside, looking outside

[the facade]

Inside, looking outside

this room is spent,
yet the furniture relent,
to stand still
with memories intent.

outside, in the other room,
the world is
gushing with wordly-matters,
ripped to tatters,
composted fizz,
and fertilizes ladders
for humanity to climb
but stand still.

this world is spent,
yet the people relent,
to stand still
with memories intent.

[hillwalker]

I lost interest half way through that opening verse - your determination to use end rhyme resulted in 4 lines that have no discernible meaning.

H

[blazeofglory]

The poet's endeavor to impress the reader is obvious here. I like the rhyme usually and yet I feel it could say and interest the reader without it too.

[the facade]

Hehe, my intentions were anything but to impress with simple rhyme.
nonetheless, thank you for taking the time to read and comment - I'll be sure to take notice next time around.

[hillwalker]

It would be interesting to discover what your intentions were.

H

[DieterM]

I'm sorry, the facade, not that I don't like rhyme, but I simply didn't get it. The content, the message, that is. And I didn't understand why you had to twist grammar (line 2, furniture, is not plural, so it should read "relents") in order to construct a rhyme. I'd be curious, seconding hillwalker for that matter, to know what the poem is meant to express.