Biggus
11-17-2012, 07:07 AM
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2
I kept Lily home from school
For Christmas shopping
Because it’s the very best time
To get all the presents on the list
Especially when you believe
That shoplifting isn’t a crime
WE WENT TO A FAIRY TALE PARTY
We went to a fairy tale party
Which I thought was crappy
I ended up feeling grumpy
While my wife was felling happy
THE LAST REINDEER
A reindeer walked into a pub,
And ordered a pint of beer.
The barman pulled a pint
And gave it to the reindeer,
The reindeer took the drink
And handed over a ten
He checked his change
Then he checked it again
The barman then said
"You’re the first reindeer
I think I’m right in saying
That we've had in here."
He delivered to the barman
A look, barely disguised
“To be honest at these prices
I'm really not surprised”
CHRISTMAS TRIMMINGS
Christmas planning is essential
Or else the festive ambience suffers
And you will not easily be forgiven
If you forget the stocking stuffer’s
FAIRY TALE STATISTIC
Here’s a Statistic
That’s really crappy
6 out of 7 dwarves
Really aren’t Happy
AFTER THREE WEEKS OR SO
After three weeks or so
Working in the grotto
It begins to take its toll
On the poor old soul
Sitting on his great chair
Pretending to care
As all the girls and boys
Plead for various toys
Kids of every shape and size
Looking for a prize
Clambering on his knee
Wriggling with glee
Until the poor old chap
Suffers from Santa lap
A SIMPLE GIFT
I’m hoping that this Christmas
I will get what I desire
I’m not that easy to please
I don’t ridiculously aspire
I don’t want the moon and stars
Or diamonds or pearls
Some perfume or cosmetics will do
I’m not one of those greedy girls
I just want something for me
Just a small thing, for me this year
But as always it will be something
For the house from IKEA
SNOWMAN
What a lovely snowman
Big and round and tall
There isn’t anything I like better
Really nothing at all
It’s the first thing I look for
As soon as the snow falls
It’s definitely a snowman
See it has “Snow balls”
THE OFFICE PARTY
The office party
Was relief from the slog
When you spent your time
Hitting the nog
And hanging by the mistletoe
Hoping for a snog
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 1
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of sad
To do all the things
I used to do with Dad
But when I feel him beside me
Then I don’t feel so bad
I kept Lily home from school
For Christmas shopping
Because it’s the very best time
To get all the presents on the list
Especially when you believe
That shoplifting isn’t a crime
WE WENT TO A FAIRY TALE PARTY
We went to a fairy tale party
Which I thought was crappy
I ended up feeling grumpy
While my wife was felling happy
THE LAST REINDEER
A reindeer walked into a pub,
And ordered a pint of beer.
The barman pulled a pint
And gave it to the reindeer,
The reindeer took the drink
And handed over a ten
He checked his change
Then he checked it again
The barman then said
"You’re the first reindeer
I think I’m right in saying
That we've had in here."
He delivered to the barman
A look, barely disguised
“To be honest at these prices
I'm really not surprised”
CHRISTMAS TRIMMINGS
Christmas planning is essential
Or else the festive ambience suffers
And you will not easily be forgiven
If you forget the stocking stuffer’s
FAIRY TALE STATISTIC
Here’s a Statistic
That’s really crappy
6 out of 7 dwarves
Really aren’t Happy
AFTER THREE WEEKS OR SO
After three weeks or so
Working in the grotto
It begins to take its toll
On the poor old soul
Sitting on his great chair
Pretending to care
As all the girls and boys
Plead for various toys
Kids of every shape and size
Looking for a prize
Clambering on his knee
Wriggling with glee
Until the poor old chap
Suffers from Santa lap
A SIMPLE GIFT
I’m hoping that this Christmas
I will get what I desire
I’m not that easy to please
I don’t ridiculously aspire
I don’t want the moon and stars
Or diamonds or pearls
Some perfume or cosmetics will do
I’m not one of those greedy girls
I just want something for me
Just a small thing, for me this year
But as always it will be something
For the house from IKEA
SNOWMAN
What a lovely snowman
Big and round and tall
There isn’t anything I like better
Really nothing at all
It’s the first thing I look for
As soon as the snow falls
It’s definitely a snowman
See it has “Snow balls”
THE OFFICE PARTY
The office party
Was relief from the slog
When you spent your time
Hitting the nog
And hanging by the mistletoe
Hoping for a snog
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 1
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of sad
To do all the things
I used to do with Dad
But when I feel him beside me
Then I don’t feel so bad