Disaster management..!

[Mystic Gohan]

hi i am new here and i don't know if it's the correct forum but can anyone review the script i wrote , i had issues with time so don't mind the ending and yeah i am just 14 so please be a bit gentle nevertheless please suggest any improvements and point out my mistakes
N2- INTRO
N1- Four friends after a hearing the news of a ferocious thunderstorm expected to strike on the day after tomorrow are discussing about it with each other.
N2- The guy Pratik is a bully who is brave but loves to play pranks and tease others while Rahul is a timid person who is a bit coward and is a regular prey of pratik.
N1-The guy David is brave but is quite calm most of the times, Leena is a smart girl who is a optimist and hates pessimists.
David-Hey guys do you know a thunderstorm is expected to strike on the day after tomorrow.
Pratik - That’s great!! It would be quite exciting
Leena- yes I have never seen a thunderstorm before
Rahul- it would be dangerous too!
Pratik- (cunningly) – that’s true you know thunderstorms are infamous for killing kids
Rahul (frightened)- Whaat !! I will lock myself in my room then..
Pratik- Look out rahul !! A thunderstorm Runn!!
Rahul(shocked)- David save me (hides behind david)
Leena – Stop picking on him Pratik.
Pratik- Stop Already?
David- Stop it lad!! It’s nothing Stand up Rahul!
Rahul- OOH! That’s fine then (sighs)
Miss Alice- hi children I have been hearing you since a while, you don’t seem to know what exactly is a thunderstorm like! Come with me I have something to show you.
N2- And thus the children follow Miss Alice to a Lab
Alice- children wait a minute I will be back (goes)
David-Who knows why did we come here?
Leena – Well just to know what is a thunderstorm like!
Rahul- I think we have been kidnapped, run before she is back
David- Shut up rahul! That can’t be true
(A strange looking person comes)
Doctor-(searching something on the ground, sees the children)
Pratik(whispers)- did someone ever tell him that he looks like a mouse with a nose?
(doctor scans Rahul from top to bottom )
Doctor- Open your mouth brat!
Rahul- (does it unwillingly)
Doctor(takes his magnifying glass and taps it on his teeth)
Rahul- Are you sick? What you think you are doing.
Doctor -give that to me!
Rahul- what?
Doctor- (yells) that’s my teeth you stole my false teeth!
Alice- what’s going on??
Doctor-what’s going on?? Hey children what’s going on? I don’t know what’s going on
Alice – don’t worry children he is a bit …
David- I guess I knew
Alice- ok so here we have designed a software that would show you the ways to prevent thunderstorm with 3D clips. Start the clip doctor
Doctor- start the clip? Oh yes ……yes? what do I do?
Alice – start the thunderstorm clip
Doctor- Oh right!! (starts the clip)
N1- One days few friends walking through woods and they found themselves stuck in a thunderstorm
(the lighting rages)
Jack- what’s that? Lightening? What do we do?
Maria-let’s run back to the town!
Smith- No I think that would be absurd
Candice- WHY?
Smith- let’s go near the trees the big ones
Everyone- why?
Smith-Because wood is a insulator and electricity only passes through conductors
Candice-Bravo! I didn’t knew that you were so attentive, let’s do what he says
Maria- Hold it! I have got a bad feeling about this
Jack- come on Maria..
(suddenly lightening falls on a tree and the tree falls)
Everyone- OOPS! (looks at smith)
Smith- I guess our teachers are wrong, run back to the town!!
(everyone flees) (end of the clip)
David- Well that was something great!
Leena- quite so..!
Pratik-So we finally know that our teachers are wrong.
Alice – No that’s not true dry would is a insulator but wet one ain’t ! also shelter near a small tree if you can’t escape the forest
Rahul- what if we are walking in the street?
Alice- Great question allow me to show you another clip! Doctor show the next clip please
Doctor- Aye Aye!!
(the clip starts)
N2-Three friends are returning from their tuitions and suddenly the sky rages
John-The sky is raging we should go to a ground? It will be a safe place
Joseph- Are you mad.. lightening falls on the tallest thing
John- so what?
Julie-We will be the tallest around fool, let's call our parents instead
Joseph- that wont work either you can get a shock by telephone lines
John-then what to do?
Joseph- let’s take shelter under a building it’s safest place during lightening.
Both-OK
(clip ends)
Leena- that was great
Pratik- Actually was ! that Joseph was just like me
Alice- Thank you for coming guys, I hope it helped you.
David- We should rather thank you ma’am we learnt so many things because of you.
Leena- quite so..! we are ready for the thunderstorm
Doctor(to rahul)- return my false teeth (chases with tongs)
Rahul- save me..!! (runs)
(THE END)

[hillwalker]

I'll assume this 'script' is a screenplay - written as if it's going to be filmed...
so the first three paragraphs would be difficult to convey on-screen. Cameras can't show emotions or characteristics (like being brave or being a bully or an optimist). If these are important for the plot you have to show something on-screen for the viewer to be able to see what kind of person Pratik is for example.

As for the script itself - the dialogue - well, there are one or two spelling mistakes (would/wood - lightening/lightning) and your punctuation is a bit sloppy. I suppose the story itself is a little amusing but I couldn't work out who Miss Alice was (is she a teacher or just some random scientist who just happens to grab children off the street in order to show them film clips). And the Doctor with the teeth - again, it didn't make any sense.

A fun exercise I'm sure but I can't see Stephen Spielberg buying the film rights.

H