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Jerrybaldy
11-10-2012, 08:03 PM
We knew they were coming.
The parents held their children indoors,
empty streets whispered stories,
swings hung empty as leaves
formed a carpet on playgrounds unplayed.
They were coming.
Soon only smoke left the houses,
shipbuilders walked home from dry docks
the pubs closed,
the clouds gathered to menace the skyline.
They were coming all right.
I stayed in my room
reading warnings with a torch beneath blankets.
They were close.
We smelt them in the animals we cooked.
We saw them in the flames of the fires
lighting our living rooms.
Behind the curtains closed to the autumn sun.
We gathered in our homes
united in fear.

And then they came.
Turned out they weren’t so bad.
Hey ho.

Delta40
11-10-2012, 08:10 PM
Great build up Jerry. Wonderful anti-climax.

Haunted
11-13-2012, 03:20 PM
Very vivid and original, especially these lines:

I stayed in my room
reading warnings with a torch beneath blankets.
They were close.
We smelt them in the animals we cooked.

Really well done in how the suspense mounts, and then it goes poof and leaves us wondering what "they" are. (tellme tellme!!!)

Bar22do
11-13-2012, 06:03 PM
Indeed, who are they? ---
shows the build-up is perfect! effective! and what a trap!
Great reading you again, gifted guy!!

hillwalker
11-13-2012, 06:26 PM
Very much a reflection on T S Eliot's 'The Hollow Men' - civilisation ending 'not with a bang but a whimper'

H