Transgenders and Sex changes: to op or not to op?

[cacian]

I have been talking in another forum about men who dress up as women as being the easiest alternative to sex change.
The reasons being that there is more room to manoeuver in terms of opportunities in the future if say the men decide to have children and enter into a straight relationship ie date a woman and decide to have children.
A sex change can be a very lonely place because the operation is traumatic and also long term the limits of what a men can have when transformed into a woman is limited. Not having children/family circle of their own can be lonely long term.

My present partner nearly underwent the operation that was before we met but he did not. Had he gone through we would not be together have a family and children. I am glad he did not because we are now very together and very happy.
So now my present partner dresses up as a woman now and again and that is for me great. He wants to feel like a female and that is very healthy. It took me a while before I found out he wanted a sex change because he did not talk about it to me. It was left to me to discover it and I did. When I found at I told him that it was lucky he did not undergo the operation.

Here is one dilemma:
The dilemma for a woman would be this:
She would not go out with a transgender for the simple reason she would have liked children but feelings dictate and no one is in control of who they meet and how. So she then would but it would make the family circle rather empty and there will always be something missing.

Dilemma 2: A woman who turns a man and then gets pregnant. For a baby to think his mother is a man is kind confusing I think. It is not the norms to see a man pregnant and so the concept is not going the right way for the meanings of words.
Oh no my head is hurting now.
Anyways these just two things to think about and it is in no way trying to be disrespectful I am only trying to explore the beyond because it better to talk about then not.

The question for the ladies:
Would it bother you if your man decided to dress up?


The question for the men:
How easy is it to talk about sex change and wanting to be female as well as a man?

[Bluehound]

There is a big difference between cross-dressing, transgendered and gay, why do they always end up lumped together?

I wouldn't mind at all if my man wanted to dress up , in fact I would find it kind of sexy.
I would even like to think I could cope with him going for a full sex change , although I would probably prefer if he only had his top half done ( I love boobs :) )

But I think you are getting a little ahead of the issue, not all men who dress up would even want a full sex change and not everybody in the world wants kids, there is more to life.

[cacian]

There is a big difference between cross-dressing, transgendered and gay, why do they always end up lumped together?
I do not mix those three together at all. I live with one and I got to understand about the issue now and it also got me thinking.
My partner nearly underwent the operation but opted out because. I have no idea why he did but I am glad he did I would not have coped with him and not being able to have kids. That is me. I do not speak for all. I could not.
However someone who dresses up instead of the op is exactly the same as a transgender because the lattest went for the real stuff the second option and my partner opted out from it and went for the first option the easiest one and that is to dress up.


I wouldn't mind at all if my man wanted to dress up , in fact I would find it kind of sexy.
I would even like to think I could cope with him going for a full sex change , although I would probably prefer if he only had his top half done ( I love boobs :) )
I am totally your opposite I am glad he did not but then I don't know whether you are a he or she sorry.


But I think you are getting a little ahead of the issue, not all men who dress up would even want a full sex change and not everybody in the world wants kids, there is more to life.
Yes that is the whole point.
The bits about the kids was something that I think all of us at some stage think about that is why I brought it up.
There is more to life but there is also a lot of thinking to be done before life is realised to its potential.
Creating all sorts of possibilities and being aware of them is better then regrets.
No one is immune from changing their minds and that needs to be covered hence this thread.

[Bluehound]

Sorry I didn't mean to come off harsh.
You are absolutely right everyone has a right to change their mind and I don't think anyone would choose to go through a sex change lightly.
Although I have heard of a woman who became a man and then changed back because she preferred to be a lesbian.

But I do still think that dressing up is not just for people who want to be the other sex , maybe some just want to enjoy the freedoms and pleasures of wearing what the other sex does.
Think of the first women in polite society "brave" enough to wear men's trousers - doesn't mean they wanted to be men.
Or the man who loves the feel of a sexy pair of silky briefs instead of his scratchy boxers - doesn't mean he wants to be a woman.


Oh and I am a she.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

There is a big difference between cross-dressing, transgendered and gay, why do they always end up lumped together?

I wouldn't mind at all if my man wanted to dress up , in fact I would find it kind of sexy.
I would even like to think I could cope with him going for a full sex change , although I would probably prefer if he only had his top half done ( I love boobs :) )

But I think you are getting a little ahead of the issue, not all men who dress up would even want a full sex change and not everybody in the world wants kids, there is more to life.

This is such an awesome post for so many reasons. :nod:

[Buh4Bee]

I think this is a private conversation that an individual should have with their doctor and partner.

I would be devastated if my husband wanted to wear my bras.

[BienvenuJDC]

That is almost as bad as having a conversation about "alternate lifestyles"...

[OrphanPip]

Cross dressing is simply not sufficient to provide the sense of gender identity many transgender individuals desire. The relationship between someone's body and their gender identity can only be established by the individual in question.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

That is almost as bad as having a conversation about "alternate lifestyles"...

Yeah. Being open minded. What a horrid thought.

[BienvenuJDC]

Yeah. Being open minded. What a horrid thought.

Actually, that was an inside joke with someone else. Not referring to what you think. However, I have an open mind about things, but I don't agree that all things are proper and normal.

[Buh4Bee]

My point was that I think this is a very personal decision. I don't judge it, but feel like it is a very complex topic. I think it's important to consult an expert when a situation is serious and really being explored.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Actually, that was an inside joke with someone else. Not referring to what you think. However, I have an open mind about things, but I don't agree that all things are proper and normal.

Okay, good . . . I think.

[cacian]

I think this is a private conversation that an individual should have with their doctor and partner.

I would be devastated if my husband wanted to wear my bras.

Hi Buh4Bee I appreciate what you are saying but I think I know far too many people who suffer really badly with regard to their gender identity.
The only way for us and anyone who comes across is to air it and make is a something we all talk about on a daily basis in order to prevent depressions and even suicide. Gender issue is very common more common then we think.
Can I ask why you would be devastated?
My ex sister in law was also devastated when she found out her husband wanted to dress up. He is very devoted to her and would not do without her yet she was not happy at all. From what I know all he wanted to do was dress up on occasions. She is a complex person and I could see she would not be happy but something has got to give.


Actually, that was an inside joke with someone else. Not referring to what you think. However, I have an open mind about things, but I don't agree that all things are proper and normal.

Hi BienvenuJDC may I ask what you do consider to be good and proper?


QUOTE=Bluehound;1183611]Sorry I didn't mean to come off harsh.
You are absolutely right everyone has a right to change their mind and I don't think anyone would choose to go through a sex change lightly.
Although I have heard of a woman who became a man and then changed back because she preferred to be a lesbian.

Hi Bluehound not all. I was going to say I know of a woman who became a man and wanted to go out with a real man only to find out it was actually a woman like her. You can imagine she was devastated. Surgery is ahead of us and sometimes we just don't get what want because surgery did it all for us.

But I do still think that dressing up is not just for people who want to be the other sex , maybe some just want to enjoy the freedoms and pleasures of wearing what the other sex does.
Think of the first women in polite society "brave" enough to wear men's trousers - doesn't mean they wanted to be men.
Or the man who loves the feel of a sexy pair of silky briefs instead of his scratchy boxers - doesn't mean he wants to be a woman.

I totally agree I think men should be able to experiment without being teased or looked down on.

Oh and I am a she.
I see. I am a woman and I do not like boobs that much they get in way lol
I like to jog not having to worry about the weight or the bouncing. It is irritating sometimes.

[Buh4Bee]

I'd be devastated, because it is not masculine.

[tonywalt]

:biggrin5::biggrin5:Damn, where do I start::goof:

- I fantasize about having tea parties, really formal tea parties with tiny tea cups!

- I read Jane Austen in a bubble bath. I find it relaxes me.

- Sometimes in mid argument (especially if i'm losing) I'll accuse my partner of something completely unrelated to the argument at hand and if that doesn't work, i burst into tears, then wail, "You just don't understand me!- then leave the room

- I cried when Carrie Bradshaw and Big got together in Paris, even though I really like Aden. (I'm upset just talking about it).

- i give my partner the silent treatment and when she says "what's wrong?" I reply "Nothing" and then stare ahead in pregnant silence...after about 20 minutes I say "We need to talk."

- When the counter girl asks me "What is your skin type" I know it- then ask her about a more delicate eye contour.

- I do cartwheels in the park

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

:lol:

[cacian]

:biggrin5::biggrin5:Damn, where do I start::goof:

- I fantasize about having tea parties, really formal tea parties with tiny tea cups!

- I read Jane Austen in a bubble bath. I find it relaxes me.

- Sometimes in mid argument (especially if i'm losing) I'll accuse my partner of something completely unrelated to the argument at hand and if that doesn't work, i burst into tears, then wail, "You just don't understand me!- then leave the room

- I cried when Carrie Bradshaw and Big got together in Paris, even though I really like Aden. (I'm upset just talking about it).

- i give my partner the silent treatment and when she says "what's wrong?" I reply "Nothing" and then stare ahead in pregnant silence...after about 20 minutes I say "We need to talk."

- When the counter girl asks me "What is your skin type" I know it- then ask her about a more delicate eye contour.

- I do cartwheels in the park

Hold on a minute. Is this a script to Priscilla Queen of the Desert?
It may need retouching a bit it but apart from that it will do a brilliant ouverture at the theatre palace in London.

[Alexander III]

:biggrin5::biggrin5:Damn, where do I start::goof:

- I fantasize about having tea parties, really formal tea parties with tiny tea cups!

- I read Jane Austen in a bubble bath. I find it relaxes me.

- Sometimes in mid argument (especially if i'm losing) I'll accuse my partner of something completely unrelated to the argument at hand and if that doesn't work, i burst into tears, then wail, "You just don't understand me!- then leave the room

- I cried when Carrie Bradshaw and Big got together in Paris, even though I really like Aden. (I'm upset just talking about it).

- i give my partner the silent treatment and when she says "what's wrong?" I reply "Nothing" and then stare ahead in pregnant silence...after about 20 minutes I say "We need to talk."

- When the counter girl asks me "What is your skin type" I know it- then ask her about a more delicate eye contour.

- I do cartwheels in the park

:party: