Early Map Maker

[Delta40]

An old man sat on the shore
and wondered,
What is this world
I journey through?
Rats can tread in water
for three days and nights
fish die from seasickness
and hurricanes last for ten moons.
He etched the constant
full horizon of his thoughts
onto a rocky cave wall
without the art of written word.
Long after he was swept away,
all that was left
of his map of the world
was an oblique perspective
of the village in which he had lived.

[E.A Rumfield]

Very cool.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Very cool.

Agreed. You write some cool stuff, delta. Mysterious and dark, this has a sort of Borgesian feel.

[blazeofglory]

I am moved by this poem, for the beauty of the truth is telling in this poem and it goes deeper and deeper into a realm of my psyche that it becomes an epiphany. Truth mostly goes unwritten and the truth the old man arrived at symbolic of it. We live in the comforts of written words but that go unrecorded is swept away the wave of time.

[AuntShecky]

You had me at the title, Delta. The structure and diction of your piece remind me of some of the poems I've read by Stephen Crane. But you need no comment from the likes of me. You've "got" this.

Quick question, not a crit: By ten "moons", do you mean "months"?

[Delta40]

No aunty.

Thanks for your wonderful responses!

[qimissung]

I agree, Delta. This one is special.

[Delta40]

Thank you qimi

[aliengirl]

Hey Delta, just dropped by to say that I loved it. It's absolutely brilliant. :)

[Hawkman]

No one can say of Delta, "There's no Dreamin'." You took me to the dream.

Live and be well - H

[Bar22do]

It moved me deeply. Thanks Delta.

[Twota]

I love the way I understand it. :D