Mawaya-No-Kami
11-01-2012, 12:19 PM
Hi, this is my first post. I've been writing for a few years but this is the biggest project I've started so I'm just looking to get some feedback on it, if anyone is interested the rest can be found on my website (http://www.lintukoto.org.uk) but right now I'm just looking for some opinion on the base idea and how I've been writing it... Thanks!
Chapter One
Kave: A New Moon
Under the dark sapphire blanket of the night sky Kave admired his work, it was his finest yet. The stars sparkled like the reflections of fireflies on still water and night sky breathed a silent breath of tranquillity that echoed the stillness in the air. The moon was bright in the sky, the brightest pale white arc that he had ever painted.
Many moons had passed since the islands of Lintukoto had risen from the world and there were few alive today that still hold memories of that day. Kave is not one of them; he is instead of sky lineage, being able to progress the cycles of the moon by painting its different phases. This in itself may seem like a small task but his work maps time itself as the days accumulate and turn into months, the cycles by which the Lintu measure the passing of time.
A content smile crept slowly across Kave's face, a strong face that was both full of determination and compassion that held the smile only for a moment before it slipped back again to reveal his more commonly composed expression. He was not a harsh man but a serious one, one that understood the importance of his daily task and took great pride in creating the different illuminations of the moon.
Kave's dark blue eyes, as dark as the night sky itself stared upward at his creation, an image so powerful that it almost eclipsed the stars themselves into total darkness. His illumination shone so bright that the stars could barely be seen. He had painted the moon tonight in the image of his beautiful wife, Ilmatar and it was with her beauty that the moon shone much brighter than its usual self.
Being a descendant of the brotherhood of the night, Kave formed a strong bond with the moon in his youth as he watched it sit still each night from the northern most edge of the islands. As time passed, he became able to pass his emotions into the moon's energy and give it shape and illuminate it in ways that no one thought possible. It is by these illuminations that the people of the islands measure how far into each cycle they have reached; waiting twenty eight or sometimes thirty days before Kave would begin his cycle again.
Tonight Kave sat in the long grass admiring his latest work on the northern most edge of the islands, a creation that had been inspired by the radiant beauty of his wife Ilmatar. His shoulder length raven hair danced gently in the soft breeze of the night as it fell back over his ears as it always would; his two full feathers and a third smaller one resting just above his left ear. These too were raven black.You could measure the age of a Lintu by the number of feathers above their ears, one whole feather indicated one hundred and twenty moon cycles; a decade.
Kave sat in the long grass near the very edge of the island, his bare arms stretched back and holding his weight as he leaned on them. His skin was a pale tan and the muscles in his arms tensed as the held his weight, his bare chest stretched underneath his dark blue vest as it remained untied across his front. His one leg stretched out before him, the other with his knee raised allowing the light coloured cotton leggings to fall back behind the knee.
The dark shadows that were painted on the skin under his eyes almost emphasised their pure deep blue, the same blue you could see in the sky at that moment almost sparkling in memory of the stars that were now masked by the beauty of his creation. He reached his hands forward as he raised his outstretched leg to meet the other then rested his forearms on his knees. Beaded straps around his wrists, made for him by Ilmatar, dangled and a silver amulet around his neck fell to his chest and mimicked their swaying.
Kave had stayed out after his work much longer than usual the past few nights, he had become ill at ease with what he had seen across the ocean of clouds that moved gently beneath the islands. Each night he had been seeing an orange glow off in the distance that he could only have described as a fire burning beneath the clouds, and each night it had appeared to be getting closer to the islands. He knew such a thing could not exist, there was nothing beneath the clouds in his mind. It was his concerns that led his mind back to the safety of his beautiful wife, Ilmatar and had inspired the painted illumination he had given the moon tonight.
Behind Kave there was a small whisper of the grass shuffling under the weight of footsteps but it did not break his attention, nothing could have done so. An old man draped in white and with a long pale beard down to his waist moved to his side, a long robe covered the man and a rope tied around his waist met with his pale beard. His head held no hair, only nine full feathers and a tenth smaller one above the old man's left ear. He stood with both hands on top of a dark oak walking stick.
"She's beautiful isn't she?" asked Kave and the old man nodded in response, knowing that Kave was referring to Ilmatar and not the moon that shone so brightly above them.
The two men remained silent at the very edge of the islands for a while, the long grass dancing gently in the breeze when the old man shuffled his aged hands on the top of his dark oak walking stick, one over the other.
"What is that, old man?" enquired Kave, nodding his head in the direction of the burning orange glow out in the distance. His eyes were still on the moon, his beautiful Ilmatar. "Have you ever seen anything like that?"
"Hmm." replied the old man, shuffling his hands over the dark oak walking stick one more time.
"You mean to say you don't know?" teased Kave and for a moment there was only silence. The old man squinted his pale grey eyes, this was not an attempt to see beyond what he could already see but it was simply his way.
"Never seen." muttered the old man, voice raspy as he stretched his neck to clear his throat.
"Never seen?" Kave teased again, "Surely a man as old and as wise as yourself should have seen everything there is to see by now? You are our elder are you not?"
Again the old man said nothing. Kave returned his gaze to the beauty of the moon and removed the mock smile from his face; the old man stood silently beside him staring out across the sea of clouds. Moments of some length had passed before the old man sighed heavily with his voice still raspy, he stretched his neck once more and spoke, "I know what it is boy." and said no more.
"I thought you... " began Kave, the old man quickly interrupted before he could be teased any further.
"Memories return. Like books in a library. Stored. To be found but never gone." mused the old man, a wry smile curling at the edges of his mouth a raising the beard along his cheeks slightly.
Chapter One
Kave: A New Moon
Under the dark sapphire blanket of the night sky Kave admired his work, it was his finest yet. The stars sparkled like the reflections of fireflies on still water and night sky breathed a silent breath of tranquillity that echoed the stillness in the air. The moon was bright in the sky, the brightest pale white arc that he had ever painted.
Many moons had passed since the islands of Lintukoto had risen from the world and there were few alive today that still hold memories of that day. Kave is not one of them; he is instead of sky lineage, being able to progress the cycles of the moon by painting its different phases. This in itself may seem like a small task but his work maps time itself as the days accumulate and turn into months, the cycles by which the Lintu measure the passing of time.
A content smile crept slowly across Kave's face, a strong face that was both full of determination and compassion that held the smile only for a moment before it slipped back again to reveal his more commonly composed expression. He was not a harsh man but a serious one, one that understood the importance of his daily task and took great pride in creating the different illuminations of the moon.
Kave's dark blue eyes, as dark as the night sky itself stared upward at his creation, an image so powerful that it almost eclipsed the stars themselves into total darkness. His illumination shone so bright that the stars could barely be seen. He had painted the moon tonight in the image of his beautiful wife, Ilmatar and it was with her beauty that the moon shone much brighter than its usual self.
Being a descendant of the brotherhood of the night, Kave formed a strong bond with the moon in his youth as he watched it sit still each night from the northern most edge of the islands. As time passed, he became able to pass his emotions into the moon's energy and give it shape and illuminate it in ways that no one thought possible. It is by these illuminations that the people of the islands measure how far into each cycle they have reached; waiting twenty eight or sometimes thirty days before Kave would begin his cycle again.
Tonight Kave sat in the long grass admiring his latest work on the northern most edge of the islands, a creation that had been inspired by the radiant beauty of his wife Ilmatar. His shoulder length raven hair danced gently in the soft breeze of the night as it fell back over his ears as it always would; his two full feathers and a third smaller one resting just above his left ear. These too were raven black.You could measure the age of a Lintu by the number of feathers above their ears, one whole feather indicated one hundred and twenty moon cycles; a decade.
Kave sat in the long grass near the very edge of the island, his bare arms stretched back and holding his weight as he leaned on them. His skin was a pale tan and the muscles in his arms tensed as the held his weight, his bare chest stretched underneath his dark blue vest as it remained untied across his front. His one leg stretched out before him, the other with his knee raised allowing the light coloured cotton leggings to fall back behind the knee.
The dark shadows that were painted on the skin under his eyes almost emphasised their pure deep blue, the same blue you could see in the sky at that moment almost sparkling in memory of the stars that were now masked by the beauty of his creation. He reached his hands forward as he raised his outstretched leg to meet the other then rested his forearms on his knees. Beaded straps around his wrists, made for him by Ilmatar, dangled and a silver amulet around his neck fell to his chest and mimicked their swaying.
Kave had stayed out after his work much longer than usual the past few nights, he had become ill at ease with what he had seen across the ocean of clouds that moved gently beneath the islands. Each night he had been seeing an orange glow off in the distance that he could only have described as a fire burning beneath the clouds, and each night it had appeared to be getting closer to the islands. He knew such a thing could not exist, there was nothing beneath the clouds in his mind. It was his concerns that led his mind back to the safety of his beautiful wife, Ilmatar and had inspired the painted illumination he had given the moon tonight.
Behind Kave there was a small whisper of the grass shuffling under the weight of footsteps but it did not break his attention, nothing could have done so. An old man draped in white and with a long pale beard down to his waist moved to his side, a long robe covered the man and a rope tied around his waist met with his pale beard. His head held no hair, only nine full feathers and a tenth smaller one above the old man's left ear. He stood with both hands on top of a dark oak walking stick.
"She's beautiful isn't she?" asked Kave and the old man nodded in response, knowing that Kave was referring to Ilmatar and not the moon that shone so brightly above them.
The two men remained silent at the very edge of the islands for a while, the long grass dancing gently in the breeze when the old man shuffled his aged hands on the top of his dark oak walking stick, one over the other.
"What is that, old man?" enquired Kave, nodding his head in the direction of the burning orange glow out in the distance. His eyes were still on the moon, his beautiful Ilmatar. "Have you ever seen anything like that?"
"Hmm." replied the old man, shuffling his hands over the dark oak walking stick one more time.
"You mean to say you don't know?" teased Kave and for a moment there was only silence. The old man squinted his pale grey eyes, this was not an attempt to see beyond what he could already see but it was simply his way.
"Never seen." muttered the old man, voice raspy as he stretched his neck to clear his throat.
"Never seen?" Kave teased again, "Surely a man as old and as wise as yourself should have seen everything there is to see by now? You are our elder are you not?"
Again the old man said nothing. Kave returned his gaze to the beauty of the moon and removed the mock smile from his face; the old man stood silently beside him staring out across the sea of clouds. Moments of some length had passed before the old man sighed heavily with his voice still raspy, he stretched his neck once more and spoke, "I know what it is boy." and said no more.
"I thought you... " began Kave, the old man quickly interrupted before he could be teased any further.
"Memories return. Like books in a library. Stored. To be found but never gone." mused the old man, a wry smile curling at the edges of his mouth a raising the beard along his cheeks slightly.