The Nile and other Rivers or The Raman Effect

[sundarramchand]

It flows,
a slender thread of blue,
like a dying man hanging on
precariously to life
and miraculously making it

It flows,
Like a stream of consciousness
Binding body and soul,
Binding humanity.
Like the healing tears
of a broken man
Like a thing of beauty,
precious and fragile
In its vulnerability

Elsewhere,
to the north east,
in another continent,
2 other rivers flow,
Not so long,
But through landscapes similar
but even more desolate
But equally haunted
by ghosts of the past
Through mountains, deserts, grasslands
Seemingly losing themselves
in the wastes,
far from any sea.

But yet they flow not in vain,
They live and flow on in underground rivers
and channels, mysterious and life sustaining,
Branching off like many tributaries,
Like light diffracting
They live and flow on on in the green oasis they sustain
in the clouds above

As if they
were tearing their entrails
to bridge the oceanic chasm across space-time
Microtubule like bridges of consciousness,
Thinner than eye can perceive,
But which the mind ,
in its wisdom can comprehend.
Falcon-like,
Thoughts and matter,
Both tangible and intangible,
take wing
And flame-like
Soar into immortality

[Buh4Bee]

I'm still reading this poem, but my first impression is to think there are some beautiful segments. Sadly, when you transition from the first 2 stanzas (Nile) to the northeast- it's feels fragmented. The two parts of the poem seem very loosely connected. When this happens, it seems like the poem is more for the writer's pleasure than for the reader's.

It seems like this is the connection between the two parts:
Like light diffracting
They live and flow on on in the green oasis they sustain

Is this what you are referring to as the Raman Effect?

What rivers are you referring to? There is no desert in the Northeast, at least that I am aware, unless you mean the upper part of Canada. That's a tundra, I believe. The two bigger rivers that come to mind are the Hudson River and the Saint Lawrence River. There is also the Connecticut River. Anyway, I may be getting to nit-picky- just curious.

[sundarramchand]

Nile is in egypt.

So northeast of egypt would be in asia and the region i had in mind was that between caspian and aral sea bnordering russia, caucasus and central asia and the 2 rivers i had in mind were amur darya and syr darya flowing from the pamirs.

Yes, i took the poetic license of extending the raman effect dealing with up/downconversion of frequency of light (blue to green and change of phase as in the case of clouds etc)
to matter with more than a hint (of course, not to be taken literally) at the themes of continuity of life / consciousness etc.

I also feel that this could in some senses nbe connected to the idea of "a particle (in this case, the river) digging its own well "

And thanks for your kind comments !!!!

[sundarramchand]

of course, the source of the nile is possibly in the highlands of ethopia / kenya but i meant the region broadly. Also, i think, the relatively short course of the rivers is at least partly due to design (possible attempt to walk the tightrope between developmentb, taking into account ecological concerns and preservation of the unique cultural traditions / niches of the region)

[Buh4Bee]

Thanks for the clarification, I read this at 4 in the morning- so I see I just read it wrong.

[Buh4Bee]

I thought the north east in North America- just read it wrong and that is why there are no grass lands or deserts.

[sundarramchand]

Another viewpoint is the analogy between the branching / diverging of streams and a kind of quest for self / individual identity (somewhat akin to the upstream journey of salmon) Of course, philosophically, an alternative viewpoint (possibly not considered here) is the possibility of preserving individual identity even when one is part of the mainstream (dissolving of individual identities in the cosmic oceans of space-time)

[hillwalker]

I managed to figure out the geographical link between the three rivers and was initially intrigued, but I couldn't picture the correlation with the Raman effect. I think you're trying too hard to find similarities where there are none.

There's the metaphor of a river like a 'dying man hanging on / precariously to life' - presumably because much of the Nile's journey to the sea is across desert. This works well.

But then you change tack and describe it 'Like a stream of consciousness / Binding body and soul / Binding humanity etc. etc.' I don't understand the analogy here as clearly. A stream of consciousness does not bind anything in my experience - it's an uncontrolled release of subconscious thought.

The introduction of the other two rivers enters new territory - much less poetical. It could almost be reformatted as a paragraph of prose.
Then we have their underground tributaries 'Like light diffracting'. I'm afraid I couldn't find any similarity between the way rivers dissipate into the desert sands and the way light diffracts.

And this couplet merely makes the image even more confusing:
'They live and flow on in the green oasis they sustain / in the clouds above'

By the final stanza you have somehow managed to lose complete control of the poem.

What began as a measured portrait of a river system in an alien landscape transforms into an ambiguous attempt to combine esoteric scientific theory with a natural phenomenon. Rather too ambitious I fear this time.

H

[Delta40]

What I did notice about the poem itself was that each stanza grows in size and gets larger (except for S4) as if it were indeed becoming the mighty Nile as you write. Perhaps a reformat to better reflect that because I really liked that added effect.

[sundarramchand]

Thanks , but that was not an intended effect !!!!

[Delta40]

Thanks , but that was not an intended effect !!!!

I know but sometimes these things happen unconsciously...

[Jeos]

As nice as unusual...or nice because unusual? Whatever. Its reading awoke in me a lot of beautiful emotions.

[sundarramchand]

Thanks a lot !!!