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Astromaxis
10-15-2012, 05:55 AM
Contemplations on ranges

open source codes
in sheets of gray —
volumes of enigmas
in prose and poetry

I am a language within language
my own connotations
felt like acid
like alkaline
drips of sun on moon lake

if there were figures of questions
and gig-rigged answers or good ones
what am I do?
that's a society for you

little by little
the surface erodes
and flesh finds flesh
in a subtle explosion

little by little
ash turns ray
like day becomes night
and night is sophisticated clay

passion needs perimeters
and love needs lines
gasping for space
in a century's claustrophobic display

wide open cages
versatile solids
air meets equation
and heart changes destinations. ▬


Axis Tilted

the depths of mitosis
grabbing into existence
my spirit cajoles, commands to steer
into monstrosity, into harmony
I am jaded, mingled like crayons
performing in a little stage
an oasis on wide volume

mirth is ambivalent
mirth is honest
and births of reminiscence handles the soul

touch of rogue, touch of laughter
blood bathed in a bridges of soft-rigidity|

and such skeletons that ape flesh
skeletons that bore flesh

in the midst of an open desert
sands don't only bury

eyes do too . ▬

Blush Monochrome

blood into funnel gray
meshed like wire weaving
into a channel of communication

we are strangers
might have opposites
but basics are basics
anyway

the steel grip of sound
the whipping floor of the tongue

lashing into bubbles of clouded crowded space

our intimates guarded, our patterns permissable

the endings and beginnings exposed
to be assimilated to middles

and chronology melds randomology

as we are human roots of a robust, electric machine. ▬

Haunted
10-17-2012, 01:53 AM
Full of uniqueness but too abstract at the same time. The beginning is good:

open source codes
in sheets of gray —
volumes of enigmas
in prose and poetry

I am a language within language
my own connotations
felt like acid
like alkaline
drips of sun on moon lake

The antitheses are nicely done, they parallel programming languages in pairs of 10101010 throughout. But after the first two stanzas the poem falls apart, the "method" just doesn't work.

I'm not clear as to what your point is but "open source" is a b-tch: "The IC3 has been made aware of various malware attacking Android operating systems for mobile devices." http://www.ic3.gov/media/2012/121012.aspx

There is virtue in a more "control" system. Likewise, poetry needs some measures of control to make sense.