Who I Am Versus Who I Like To Think I Am

[E.A Rumfield]

I couldn't be any lower than I am now
not if I was in my own grave,
at least then I would be at peace.
Such a senseless nothingness
complete and profound emptiness.
I saw a worm today, crawling on the concrete.
It looked like it was trying to crawl
out of its skin, trying to make the grass.
Hopelessly so, going in the wrong direction
I flicked my cigarette to the curb and thought
I hope it gets where it is trying to go.
I am much like that worm,
I don't know where that grass is anymore
I forgot what it looks like.
Confused myself, turned myself around
with LOGIC.
What a dirty word. Hiding behind intellect
because I can't face life as is.
I blame other people, I blame the world
but fail to see it is all of my creation.
All the beauty, all the sorrow
all of my manifestation.
This disconnect between
WHO I AM and WHO I THINK I AM
needs to be reconciled.
Until then I am drowning
in a choppy sea
of my own creation
and nothing
can be lower than that.

[Jeos]

Rumfield... you can also write to cheer you up you know! And near your last breath you will want to stay alive, believe me! Despite everything...

your text is an impressive raw coal begging to be carved into a diamond.

[E.A Rumfield]

Rumfield... you can also write to cheer you up you know! And near your last breath you will want to stay alive, believe me! Despite everything...

your text is an impressive raw coal begging to be carved into a diamond.

You can write to cheer up but you shouldn't tell lies. This is a way of coming to terms with the way I feel. If you don't recognize problems you can never solve them.

[Jeos]

"If you don't recognize problems you can never solve them."

That's indeed the first step...but do not stay there too long.