Happy National Poetry Day Late

[hallaig]

Points Missed


She’s found a star in the park,
a gleaming stone
in the dust and woodchip.
What will we do, Daddy?
I smile absent-mindedly.
Jump up, she shouts, and throw it back!
I am wondering whether
this is the start of winter,
if that pain in my side is worse,
if the money will last,
if the keys are in the car,
while she roots in the here and now,
and turns up star after star after star.

[Jeos]

Interesting yes because touching...and because "I've been there", too...you might show it to her later...? For sometimes children when growing up they tend "to ignore" parents efforts.

[Bar22do]

Nicely said. And yeah, nothing like children to bring us back to here and now in a relaxed way, because accompanied with that fresh magical thinking only children master and remind us of the creative power threrof!... Great to read you always, haillag.

[Bar22do]

sorry, should have been "hallaig". :)

[Buh4Bee]

I think this is a solid poem. The expression of the sentiment is very clear. As a parent, I can completely grasp your worries. Luckily, kids are kids, and they just don't get the reality we go through to provide them with the most stable environment even when we know it is lacking- whatever that means. Thanks for sharing.

[Hawkman]

Hi hallaig. This is a a little jewel of a poem. My only suggestion would be to cut line 6 which isn't really necessary. I find it interrupts the flow of the poem. You might need some commas in the last line...

Live and be well - H

[hallaig]

Hi hallaig. This is a a little jewel of a poem. My only suggestion would be to cut line 6 which isn't really necessary. I find it interrupts the flow of the poem. You might need some commas in the last line...

Live and be well - H

Aye, never thought that about line 6, will ponder on that. Thanks a lot