Our Kids

[Jeos]

You come not just from me,but also
from those who preceded me;
from the parents of my parents
and their ancestors,

from a vast web of passions
woven since immemorial times-
you, I and those who
will become through you.

The next and the oldest, me,
us, are you - the carriers
of the eternity germ,

unique, irreplaceable
and more precious to me
than the apple of my eye...

[cacian]

I love how this reads.
The topic is great!

About this line
The next and the oldest, me,
us, are you - the carriers
of the eternity germ,

I misread the last line
as
'of the eternity gem '
without the 'R'

I like the word gem because it emphasiszes the uniqueness of the human race and its eternity on this earth. :)

[Jeos]

thanks Cacian ! So gem > germ yeah why not it's an interesting variation.
About your 'glad its the rain' I suppose you want to say that there is something in the rain "behavior" that is advantageous compared to human behavior ...?
If that is so why not "wise is the rain that let it all drain" . About rhyme : you can also do it in the same line...

[cacian]

thanks Cacian ! So gem > germ yeah why not it's an interesting variation.
About your 'glad its the rain' I suppose you want to say that there is something in the rain "behavior" that is advantageous compared to human behavior ...?
If that is so why not "wise is the rain that let it all drain" . About rhyme : you can also do it in the same line...

Yes.
In way the word 'glad' means it is a relief that it is nature and not a human that has to do it. It is just a fun way to say it that way.
'Wise' is equally interesting.
Sorry I do not mean to detract.
look forward to reading more of your work Jeos.

[Jeos]

look forward to reading more of your work Jeos.[/QUOTE]

and I of your's !

And now it's time to fall into Morpheus arms ... ;-)

read you soon

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Very nice Jeos in subject; yet it seems to me free from emotions, right? I mean it tends to tell a fact, rather than conveying real feelings.

[Bar22do]

eternity germ... in unending generations, till the end of times...

[Jeos]

Very nice Jeos in subject; yet it seems to me free from emotions, right? I mean it tends to tell a fact, rather than conveying real feelings.

Not quite right friend...it's just that the emotion goes beyond "Mr Little Ego" well at least that's my intention.

Thanks for commenting and for having noticed it !

[Jeos]

eternity germ... in unending generations, till the end of times...

...thanks for commenting, you're indeed very welcome...!

Do you appreciate the sonnet form or it's to classic for you ?

Comment vas-tu? J'espère que bien !

Bienvenue! ;-)