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MANICHAEAN
09-26-2012, 01:55 AM
The White Cobra:

It was the third bar he had been in that night and though his senses were somewhat dulled by a steady consumption of high end spirits, he noted that the gecko in the Cambodian night had called more than five times.

“That’s good luck isn’t it?” Padraig said abruptly, raising his head as if he were addressing an audience. To his left, the girl in the red tank top and tight jeans replied “Yes.”

But then she had said “Yes” to everything that night, understanding little but wishing to please.

“How long have you lived in Phnom Penh?”

“Yes.”

“Are cars expensive here?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“Boom, boom all night $20.”

Charlie Alpha to base received loud and clear.

At that point he had switched off. He had only come out for a drink anyway, but she hung in there like a sea gull downwind of a fishing trawler discarding its unwanted catch.

He had not been until now, aware of a Khmer male two stools along to his other side.

“It’s the liver snake,” the individual said.

Padraig looked at the elderly man, endeavouring to assume an element of focus in his own bearing and comprehension.

“It’s the liver snake,” the white haired one repeated in a papery wheeze. “When the tokay gecko’s liver gets swollen it cannot make any noise and at this point the golden tree snake comes, slides inside the willing tokay’s mouth and eats a piece of its liver. Then it leaves and the relieved tokay goes about its noisy business.”

He was very old, with yellowish skin, well-oiled and sported a short-sleeved, unbuttoned faded shirt and an ankle length sarong though which intermittently appeared black briefs of questionable origins.

“Are you joking?” said Padraig.

“Oh no sir. I’ve seen it with my own eyes as a young child. My father said come, look. I saw them together… Then the tokay ran away.”

The bar owner approached.

“Don’t go starting all that nonsense Da. Let Mr Padraig have his drink in peace.”
“Excuse him Mr Padraig, “Da” as we know him around here has been drunk longer than you and I have been alive. Normally he does not care for a second party to exchange dialogue with, as he has proven time and time again that he is more than capable of holding rigorous debates on his own.”

Da’s expression turned inquisitive as he sorted into his inner space.

“They don’t have snakes in Ireland, do they?”

“No, they were banished,” replied Padraig.

He had been wrong footed. ”How did this old devil, know about where he had been born? He didn’t look as if he had journeyed out of this area since being conceived.”

With that, the old man, buttock by buttock rose from his stool and wandered out, seemingly unaware of the impression he had made with his superlative tale of reptile symbiosis.

He moved along the perimeter of Wat Phnom, past the numerous karaoke establishments, massage parlours and freelance prostitutes in bars and nightclubs. Neon lights flashed from windows, ‘Brown Sugar” belted from one and middle-aged Western men sat at tables talking to each other as hostesses draped themselves over their shoulders to massage whatever came to hand. Up past the Buddhist temple Da made his way, then down into streets and alleys so narrow that even a dog negotiating passage would have been obliged to wag its tail up and down, if so inclined. At a door that appeared low and indistinguishable, he edged is way inside and lay on the bed. There was still the pain under the rib cage on the right side of his body. He ran his fingers down and felt the swelling of the abdomen.

His daughter returned shortly after.
“Well?”

“He paid the bar fine Da, and gave me $20. But he did not want me.”

“No, he felt lucky. There was no need,” said the old man.
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Luke 11:
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?

Hawkman
09-26-2012, 03:12 PM
I was really enjoying this, every word, the detail, the scene, the vision, and then I was baffled by the last line. Just don't get it, or the relevance of the quote either. Oh well, I'm feeling fairly weird these days so maybe it's Alzheimer's or something... Great read though Man.

Live and be well - H

MANICHAEAN
09-26-2012, 04:14 PM
Hi Hawk
Aunty says “Show, don’t tell.”
Take all the variables of the tale and chew them over.
I find anyway that questions are more interesting than answers.
Very likely you will come up with a different take from mine.
Take care my friend
M.

Steven Hunley
09-27-2012, 08:50 PM
That's one of the qualities of really short fiction. Due to the nature of the beast the tales must prove to be evocative. As with all art, they evoke different things to different people. This has that quality, but darned if I can say what it means. I'll have to dig a bit myself! Thanks for the think, Man.

MANICHAEAN
09-27-2012, 09:21 PM
THE WHITE COBRA.
SYNOPSIS.
1. “The White Cobra” is in reality a very interesting bar in Phnom Penh that I have visited, run by an expatriate with a background in snakes. For the purposes of this story however it represents the white skinned Padraig.

2. In the snake / gecko myth it’s important to distinguish between the stereotype dangerous serpent and this one that actually provides a service. A bit like a tick bird removing parasites from the skin of a buffalo.

3. Who is Padraig? He is an Irish, long term resident in Phnom Penh and his name is the Gaelic translation for Patrick. Did Padraig forebode good luck in this case? Initially no, but then he delivers.

4. Saint Patrick was the patron saint of Ireland who banished snakes from that land.

5. Who is “Da?” He is the father of the girl, and a chronic alcoholic with symptoms of liver disease. According to a correlation of the myth, he needs a snake (Padraig) to cure him, but must settle instead for material survival through his daughter.

6. Who is the girl? Though not bright, she is patient and cunning, (also like a serpent) and by stealth, with her father, is acting (perhaps unconsciously in unison) to extract money from Padraigh. But she is like the unwanted fish catch. To be thrown the unwanted scraps.

7. Joining up the dots of the possible connections:

(a) Because the gecko had called more than five times, Padraig regards this as lucky. Thus Padraig gives money to the girl as a gift, as opposed to like the symbol of a snake, entering her commercially in sexual intercourse. It would have been wrong anyway, as it is the father (who cannot be entered) who is the one with the fatty liver.

(b) We go into deeper waters with the biblical quotation.

(c) Who is the son and who is the father? We know that “Da” is the father of the girl. But in the broadest sense “son” could be inclusive of “daughter.”

(d) Perhaps Padraig unconsciously representing St Patrick is a kind of father figure. With his higher wealth compared to those around him, he can afford to feel compassion and play the part.

(e) Saint Patrick was a representative of Jesus on earth, the latter of whom referred to himself as “The Son of Man.”

(f) Thus the daughter (son) directly is asking bread (money) of the father (Padraigh) who does not give her a stone (nothing). When she asks for a fish ($20), will she get the serpent that assists, or the one that will degrade her by indulging in loveless, commercial sex?

Steven Hunley
09-28-2012, 02:05 AM
This is just fantastic. You read a piece, you have questions, but the piece is so new there's no critical responses to look up, and the author gives you all you need to know personally instead. Modern wonders-the internet and all. And what you find out, is not that you missed a thing or two, but that the author made it run much deeper than you could have ever imagined. Good stuff!

Steven Hunley
09-28-2012, 02:11 AM
This is just great, the internet and all. You read a piece and suspect there's more something to it. It's so new though, that there's no criticisms of it out there to check. Instead you get in touch with the author and he personally tells you what's up. No middle man. And you're not missing only one thing, but an entire slew of meanings which expand the extremely short piece. Ain't progress marvelous?

MANICHAEAN
09-28-2012, 02:53 AM
Thanks for the feedback Steve, but I’m not sure if I got it right, especially if fellow writers, the caliber of Hawk and yourself have difficulty understanding the story. Perhaps it’s too much “show” and not enough “tell?” I’ve asked Aunty to wade in and give it to me straight Big Apple style!
After all, it’s no good the author understanding the tale in his head, if he then fails to get it across.
Best regards bud
M.

AuntShecky
09-28-2012, 06:02 PM
Hi, M.
Just to clear up a misconception: your auntie doesn't really hail from the "Big Apple." In fact, it's been decades since I've set foot on the Isle of Manhattan. I'm an upstater, through and through-- not in the Big Apple but the Crab Apple! Our worms are the same as those in NYC, but we pronounce our "r's" and our "a's" are flatter!

Another thing to clear up. I'm 50% Irish in heritage and 100% (at times) Irish in spirit. I'm afraid there are a couple of misconceptions about the Saint ("himself.") It's undeniably true that there are no snakes in Ireland, but you can thank the Ice Age for that, not a miracle orchestrated by himself.

Also, he was indeed a Man of God, and one of the really interesting -- yet thoroughly frightening legends about him was that he had a vivid vision of Hell. As a Christian, he was definitely "old school," and all the bacchanallian revelry that goes on in celebration of his Feast Day would appall him to no end.

About this story-- does it show rather than tell? Yep! Lively dialogue, of which your story abounds, goes a heckuva long way to "show" character, setting, Keep in mind, I mean natural dialogue, not "expository" dialogue, which is just the same as "telling," only in quotation marks.

I have to admit that I didn't get the symbolism and the folklore until your reply, but that's okay-- and this is very important: the story definitely stands on its own without explanation. Again, the setting, mood, etc. are quite evocative. And another thing it has is humor within a very serious theme. That's very difficult to do, and time and time again you've shown us that you are a master of that.

I won't lie to you-- parts of it made me laugh. The girl answering "yes" to every question was funny (but again, sad at the same time.) Having a snake chew on parts of one's liver (a la Prometheus?) doesn't sound very therapeutic to me, but we learn something new everyday.

And I was going to say-- maybe the gecko called 5 times, but at least he didn't try to sell Padraig some car insurance. I wonder if there is such a thing as a "Concord Cobra," but this one's "tokay." (Groan, groan.)

Bottom line: Me love your stories long time!