Archaeology of things

[miyako73]

On the patio,
On the rusting table,
An ashtray,
Green glass crystal,
Filled with cigarette butts,
Crushed and undisturbed
Since I last smoked.

In the living room,
A plastic anthurium,
Red, green, and dry moss,
Cobweb-covered
In the porcelain vase
I bought last year
In Chinatown.

On the kitchen wall,
An expired calendar
Of crossed out dates
And rushed doodles
Beside a pinned grocery list
And unused coupons
For apples and turkey.

In the bathroom,
In the stainless tray
Stuck on white tiles,
A bottle of shampoo,
Capped and still full,
Boldly labeled
For falling hair.

On the bed at noon,
Alone in fetal position,
Feet covered with cotton,
Cuddling two pillows
That smell sweat and saliva,
I debate with myself
If I am a thing.

[Xillus_Xavier]

This is a fantastic poem...even though I'm not sure I understand it correctly.
Let me start with what I do know: the language and imagery in this poem is spectacular.

If I'm reading the clues correctly, this poem is about someone with a major illness (AIDS? Cancer?). I'm basing this on the mentioning of shampoo for "falling hair" and the final lines, but the line about "feet wrapped in cotton" threw me. I'm not sure what you're alluding to there. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted after a long day and just can't get it right now.

Regardless, this is a strong piece of writing. Well done.

[miyako73]

You got it right. Cancer. Cotton-covered feet are about her wounds; thus she can't walk and be active around the house.

[hallaig]

I think this is really good. I might do wee bits and pieces of trimming but the idea is good, and the delivery spare and effective. I might just call it 'Archaeology'. The bit I have a major problem with is the last 2 lines which I don't think work. I realise you need an effective end to such a good build up of description and imagery but I don't think that is it.

[Jeos]

For me the poem is mainly the following :

"On the bed at noon,
Alone in fetal position,
Feet covered with cotton,
Cuddling two pillows
That smell sweat and saliva,
I debate with myself
If I am a thing."

Powerful impact.