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Jerrybaldy
09-21-2012, 07:47 PM
Nobody even remotely related to me
died today.
I do my ‘ Nobody even remotely related to me
died today’, dance.
In the hallway, in my slippers.
I perfected it just yesterday.

Bar22do
09-22-2012, 02:51 AM
May you dance like that everyday forever...!

hillwalker
09-22-2012, 10:47 AM
Ah, the simple things in life. Like reading the Obituaries and seeing with relief that you're still not mentioned.

H

Buh4Bee
09-22-2012, 04:34 PM
Cheers Jerry, don't wear the bottoms off your slippers.

Scheherazade
09-22-2012, 04:53 PM
Nobody even remotely related to me,
died today.
I do my ‘ Nobody even remotely related to me,
died today’, dance.
In the hallway, in my slippers.
This is how it is.Quirky, Jerry. With such few words you make us smile. :)

I don't think commas are needed at the end of line 1 and 3 as well after "today" in line 4.

Wondering adding "And" before the last line would make the rhythm more effective?

Sameer Telkar
09-23-2012, 07:18 AM
I did nothing but loving today.Come lets do the love dance.Come dance with me.

Hawkman
09-23-2012, 04:09 PM
Ah, the simple things in life. Like reading the Obituaries and seeing with relief that you're still not mentioned.

H

It can be nice to read you own obiturary, especially if you're not dead. That way, if you're lucky, you can read all the insincere praise and bonohmie that was not lavished upon you while you were still regarded as extant. Of course, it can go the other way too. Just look at poor old Nobel. What's wrong with making dynamite anyway?

Nice little thought JB

Live and be well - H

Haunted
09-25-2012, 03:55 AM
Bravo! this is a brilliant happy sad poem. Wish I could dance like that, someday.

E.A Rumfield
09-25-2012, 04:14 AM
Like Ice Cube didn't even have to use his AK.