My Father

[E.A Rumfield]

My Father
I still see him
but only when I sleep
the son of a *****
he still haunts my dreams
I dream he's back
and I have to bare his presence
but I can't
and I snap
like a branch drawn back to far
It's been months now since he left
packed his stuff and left in the night
I bet he was on a plane before we woke
I didn't miss him
I still don't
when I was younger
I hated him
I used to wish I was bigger
so I could kill him
for all the misery
he brought to our lives
I used to dream I was big
and now I am
bigger than you
and now I no longer
want to kill you
I only look upon you with pity
like a mangy dog
like a man who tried to run away from himself
and failed
like a dog tied to a pull
you tried to run, but
that leash pulled taut
and yoked you up
and there was no where to run
those demons that haunted you dad
they followed you wherever you went
one thing is sure
is you can't escape yourself
and if there is anything you taught
me it's how not to be a man
but I look in the mirror
and each day I look more like you
in a very subtle way
like you are hiding just beneath the surface
and still you haunt my dreams
I see your face like mine
maybe I can never escape your grasp
I am from you like man is from this earth
and such a bond is certainly inescapable
each day I look in the mirror
I look
more and more like
you
and I am proud
because I'm me and not you
but time still has
yet to take hold of me
and maybe my son will
grow up to feel the same towards
me as I do to you

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Just to let you know, E.A., you're only supposed to post one poem a day, or just post multiple poems in one thread. It helps keep the distribution of poems to view a bit more equal.