Double-Dare Thursday, Here's mine

[Hawkman]

I'm not sure if it's the best thing I've ever written, but it is certainly one of my favourites.


Serenade

At night, having drawn my curtains
tight against a streetlight’s sodium glow,
I would lie in bed, and hear birdsong.

How loud it was, persistent as the blades
of orange light which inched through gaps
and painted bars upon the wall.

I used to think it was a nightingale
that etched my dreams, with notes like motes
in Brownian motion, caught by sunbeams.

But it was just a robin, gulled
by artificial day, whose music swam
through shade to penetrate my daze.

False nightingale, with your deceitful trills,
no longer do I hear your calls
while drifting to the arms of sleep.

Like the fox’s bark from starlit fields
and distant woods’ bass-fluted owls,
time muted you as walls could not.


Originally posted 11/07/2011

[hallaig]

Nice, especially the last verse which is absolutely beautiful

[Bar22do]

I should say this one is one of your very best. The ending rounds it up so beautifully; "sodium glow", "with notes like motes in Brownian motion" and another few are delightful.
It is a good example of the kind of poems by you I love.

[cacian]

I agree this is a brilliant piece indeed.

[Hawkman]

hallaig: thanks for that, I really appreciate it. :cheers2:

Bar: I hope you don't only love my poems when they're nostalgic elegies. I'd rather celebrate gains than mourn losses for I want more than memories. I'm glad you like this one though, and that you appreciate the use of language. It pleases me to please you.

Cacian: thanks for that. Glad you enjoyed it.

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

I remember reading this the first time you posted it and commented, if memory serves.

What in the world is "Double Dare Thursday?"

[Delta40]

What in the world is "Double Dare Thursday?"

I don't know but it's Friday where I am and I feel ripped off....:toetap05:

Hawk, I always enjoyed your bird poems. I never pay attention to them myself accept knowing their sound. Morning birds that tweet for example. There is one that is nesting in the pine tree in my front yard and so it tweets at night and keeps me awake because I'm thinking it's dawn when it isn't. I actually would like to wring its neck but come dawn I welcome its tweeting. Odd isn't it...

Live and be Well

D

[zoolane]

I adorable is poem and I wish was night gale at night flying.

[Hawkman]

Auntie: I dunno, blame JB :D Thanks for reading again :)

Delta: A time and place for everything and everything in its time and place, I guess. Personally I always hated being woken up by the chickens first thing in the morning, but it didn't stop me enjoying their eggs for breakfast. Lol.

Zoolane: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Live and be well - H

[Jerrybaldy]

Hi Mr Hawk, thanks for joining in.

I would never have guessed it was going to be a bird poem (like you never would have guessed mine was going to be a sea one :) )

Birds or not, its a thing of beauty Hawk.

[Hawkman]

Thanks JB. Funny, I never realy thought of this one as a bird poem, even though it's got two in it, that bloody Robin and an owl. It's got a fox in there too, you know. Yes I know the Nightingale gets mentioned, but it isn't actually there. Pauvre petit Rossignol, so often spoken of and so seldom seen (or heard around here) I have to travel 30 miles to hear a Nightjar, and they don't sound anything like sweet as Nightingales. Maybe I should move to Berkley Square...


Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

This is so masterfully painted, on the bedroom wall as well as in words.

I used to think it was a nightingale
that etched my dreams, with notes like motes
in Brownian motion, caught by sunbeams.

This is beautiful and fantastical, I never saw this one and so glad you posted it.

[Hawkman]

Thanks for reading, Haunted. Sorry you missed it first time round but I'm delighted that you found so much to enjoy in it.

Live and be well - H

[_Shannon_]

"time muted you as walls could not"
is just language at it's very finest! I love, love that line.

[Hawkman]

Thanks Shannon. That's much appreciated. :) Glad you like it.

Live and be well - H