voolay view an poom

[Jack of Hearts]

delete

[Hawkman]

Good poem, Jack. Very sparse and pithy. Much achieved with elegant economy.

Live and be well - H

[Jeos]

Yeah I understand you...those so called modern 'values'...easiness's trap...

from a technical viewpoint I would say that

not taking risks might be a good but stationary option (even if the 'food' remains tasty)

[Alexander III]

I liked this, your verse has impressive clarity and concision.

[zoolane]

Lovely and fragile in way that would not expect poem about soldier and adore last three lines.

By fragile I mean it touch on mental state of the soldier,

[Jerrybaldy]

Wuss. Let it ride.

[zoolane]

Not fair you delete it.

[Hawkman]

I hope you are only deleting you work so you can get it published...

[bIGwIRE]

I propose a new forum rule;
---- If you see a real live Jack poem, you must quote and post immediately. Don't make me get the steward and file a grievance.

[Bar22do]

I was clever! as soon as I saw your poem I copy/paste(d) it to my computer's file, thanks G'd I could read it at peace, under the sun's foyer on my balcony. It describes desperation, and it does it brilliantly. The images are sparse but strong, you're such a master and what you write feels as if you have thrown it on the screen effortlessly (which probably is not really the case)... so, wherever your poem is now hidden, I did read and reread it, appreciated your art and enjoyed it thoroughly! Thank you! (but if you want me to erase it from my files, only tell me, i'll do it on the spot to honour your wish!)

[Jack of Hearts]

delete

[hillwalker]

This is a Jerrybaldy poem if ever I read one, but it seems to fall between 2 stools - rhyming with a strict metre (v1 lines 1,2 and 4 - if you insert the word 'of' into line 2) - and less regular verse elsewhere...

I can't say it works as well as it might because you're setting us up for something at the start that you then fail to follow through with later on. But at least I'm glad I got to read it before you delete it.

H

[Bar22do]

Same for me, so glad I was able to copy/paste it and read it at ease. Jack, what's going on! We love your poetry, usually so very good! We love to follow your thoughts and feelings... Why do you post and delete??? Seriously...

Anyhow, I found that the last you deleted was delicately nostalgic with some great images that have avoid it to fall into sentimentality. Though I also wasn't very keen on the rhymes.

Thank you a lot for the minutes you let your poem spend on the PP Forum... best regards!

[AuntShecky]

Oh, Jack-- you did it to me again! Deleted before I got a chance to read it.

[crusoe]

delete

A strong statement, clear in its consequences toward our entire history.
Yes, "delete it". At last somebody with a candle in the darkness,

Very promising.

[Jack of Hearts]

delete

[Silas Thorne]

Oh Jack, you've been breaking your toys again! Yes, you don't want just 'any love', really.

A wonderful poem, reminds me of e.e. cummings , what with the 'one day any love tried.'

Sorry I haven't been round in a while, finishing off the thesis, but came for a sanity break with the cool kids.

Spectacular ending: 'Flow/goes' !. I'm off to find me a horse to get back to the stable.

[Bar22do]

Gone again, but not for me, so --- thank you for your express sharing and lasting impression! a great poem, Jack. Love it so much.

[Jack of Hearts]

delete

[Bar22do]

Your last two are deep, fine reflections on life and death. Atmospheric and thought provoking verse, Jack. Thanks a lot.