Purgatory of Loss

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Purgatory of Loss


In the midnight, and nature’s gifts, the breeze
Of May among the trees, dances and sings
Above the joy cry of night insects
And fragrance of tranquility beside the river
Where Time bows, smiles, and gently passes
I paused my thoughts to stay alone
And lay my head on Mother Nature’s lap
Under the dome of still time, and momentary hope
Yet, the moment of trance, ghastly visions of despair
And purgatory of loss juggled in my peaceful mind
And innocent love crushed
Beneath the cruel desolation of loss and tears
That mixed with dust and unfair destiny
And dreams that pray to a bloody cross
Oh Lord, bring me back to him
Or keep me in this dream, up to your resurrection
Or release me from the dungeon levity of destiny
Then changed the trance and watched one single
Deserted fallen tree, as a cross
In the middle of that tranquility and peace
There I felt forgotten, in the hands of treacherous desertion
And my everlasting desperate soul, in the purgatory of loss

[Jeos]

I am really pleased to see that I am not the only one in this forum seeking for God (but maybe I misunderstood your poem...)whatever is the name that you give to God.
And last but not the least you also write beautiful texts.

From a technical viewpoint perhaps just a bit more punctuation and/or to divide the text in 3 or 4 stances.

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Thank you Jeos. Indeed I believe in God. Yet, in the text, I've been looking for a refuge within divinity, but unfortunately even the mentioned God does not present any solution to my miseries, nor bring back my deceased brother.

[Jeos]

Thank you Jeos. Indeed I believe in God. Yet, in the text, I've been looking for a refuge within divinity, but unfortunately even the mentioned God does not present any solution to my miseries, nor bring back my deceased brother.

And would you feel better without your faith my friend ? I doubt it...as you certainly know one can't trust at what happens in our ego-centered brain...much more could be said but this is isn't the place for.

Meanwhile I hope I am not bothering by proposing you my most respectful condoleances.

[Jack of Hearts]

خوش آمدید دوست من

At the very least, this is rich with actual imagery... things we can actually see.

Cheers for working in language that doesn't even share a common alphabet with your native one (presumably Farsi?).








J

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

You're right Jeos. My bad in explaining myself better. The last thing I may think about is abandoning my love for divinity. But I don't know, I tend to turn against everything, a sense of uprising because of what happened and what is happening to me. But finally, my ultimate refuge is of course God.



خوش آمدید دوست من

At the very least, this is rich with actual imagery... things we can actually see.

Cheers for working in language that doesn't even share a common alphabet with your native one (presumably Farsi?).








J
Thank you for your kind words. I can fluently speak Farsi, and already finished three Persian novels in the previous week, but my native language is actually Arabic.

[Jack of Hearts]

Farsi, Arabic and English? That's impressive Mojtaba.







J

[Haunted]

So sorry for your loss MI. Your language in the poem is beautiful.

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Farsi, Arabic and English? That's impressive Mojtaba.







J

Not to show off, but you have to add French and German, though not that good.

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

So sorry for your loss MI. Your language in the poem is beautiful.

Thank you dear Haunted.