Future Tech

[MystyrMystyry]

How to turn your iPhone 6 into a fully functioning Star Trek Phaser - that goes all the way up to Vaporise!

(Not available to any other make or model or 2012)

Firstly take off the sblonkle with a phritz, and locate the thoozingdurg

Once you've loosened the zyquinwub and removed all the klerbles, adjust the shrargler and slightly bend the long glurps with a klarn (fig.3c)

You'll need to move the regliwobble to one side with a splin to gain access to the phroj housing

Sprinkle a drop or two of bottled water on the disclosed knerps to shortcircuit the droinglewoowop (do a bit of soul searching beforehand because you won't be able to make conventional calls after this step)

Grab some pliers and roughly rip out the glimbles and phipshnips (like you mean it soldier!)

One final fiddle with the blorphphglaster to focus photons through the camera lens and we're done

(N.B. Caution: following this instructable will void your warranty, and if something goes wrong-... ah, just tell them you ran over it with your car*)




*Actually probably wiser to say it was lost or stolen

[Jack of Hearts]

Well, this reader read it. And thinks it's more prose than poem!







J



EDIT: Is 'Instructable' a thing? Going to Google now.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks JackoH! :(

It seems to me that it's maybe a bit too poemy.

But I don't really know - it appears to have fallen between the vortices from some epoch yet to arrive, and I am yet to write it, so justification is a little difficult

I suspect the standard of submitted poeticals has risen so high in the last quarter that my subtle pitter patter rhythms are no longer appreciated (or yet to be, or something...)


As for Instructables - where else would one turn to learn to make a lightsaber when such a need arises?


Thanks for reading, and xikcfiuwiubhwecnadigubbles! ;)