The Air is Hot and Still in the Landscape of My Mind

[E.A Rumfield]

A long time waiting to feel alive
in the stifling air of my mind
a complex landscape is
painted, in disarray,
the trees are upside down
and the sky is in the sea,
nothing makes sense anymore
and I don't know where to go,
the air is hot and still in the
landscape of my mind and
a voice is carried by the occasional
wind, while I take a boat across
the deep blue sky

[hillwalker]

Unfortunately this reminded me of that dreadful song 'Windmills of My Mind'.

It's a little pretentious and disjointed (same as the song).

H

[E.A Rumfield]

Never heard the song but I feel it should be disjointed. I was feeling abstract.

[Buh4Bee]

Maybe it'll fall into place if you let some of the hot air out.

[Jeos]

I know that you can do better with such a material...neverthless the reading remains interesting.

[Alexander III]

We have disagreed in the past you and myself, but this poem far exceeds my expectations. Bukowski's influence is breathtakingly palpable.

[Jack of Hearts]

We have disagreed in the past you and myself, but this poem far exceeds my expectations. Bukowski's influence is breathtakingly palpable.

Having read five of Bukowski's novels, a collection of his short stories and two collections of his poetry, this reader finds this comment to be nonsensical.

hillwalker is on the money here.








J

[E.A Rumfield]

Having read five of Bukowski's novels, a collection of his short stories and two collections of his poetry, this reader finds this comment to be nonsensical.
I agree, I don't think I write like Bukowski. He certainly is an influence but I don't have his style and I wouldn't try to imitate it.


hillwalker is on the money here.

I disagree. But we all write poorly sometimes.

[E.A Rumfield]

We have disagreed in the past you and myself, but this poem far exceeds my expectations. Bukowski's influence is breathtakingly palpable.

I'm glad you liked it.