Numb

[web_spider4]

Numb

I lie on a beach. My head bangs the ground as I slip into a dream. Faster. Falling faster. I fall without worry. Eyes closed. Panic. Rocks. Red rocks below me, but I see the blue sky. How can I? The harder I fall, the higher I float. Higher. Floating higher. Relief. Rocks turn to pebbles, pebbles turn to sand, and sand turns to blood. An ocean of gloom. The clouds. No longer a hard surface, I relax on a cushion in the azure. I’m chained to a lock on a path. But I walk without feet. The path leads below. Back down to the scarlet. But I cannot reach. I will not reach. I cannot move. I cannot speak. I’m chained to the birds, but they fly with no wings. I carry them with paralyzed hands that don’t move. I cannot move. I cannot speak. I cannot scream. I cannot weep. What can I feel if I cannot weep? Water sheds from locked orbs. Where is the key? Emotion is there, but where? I am numb. If I cannot feel, I cannot react. The birds struggle, the shackles detach. The air of freedom can be tasted, but they plummet with no feathers. I hold the chains, but I am bound to air. Shackles turn to wings, but I cannot move. No longer do I float with wingless beasts. I am given their wings, but I cannot flap. So I fall.

Now I feel.

[hillwalker]

More an exercise in trying to write lyrically than give us something enjoyable to read. You do a fairly good job of describing the other-worldliness of entering the dream state (or in this case perhaps a daydream). But it became a little too over-wrought; even repetitive after a while. As if you were putting more effort into maintaining a particular style of writing than to making sense; trying to come up with yet another contradiction.

This was especially the case here:

I cannot weep. What can I feel if I cannot weep? Water sheds from locked orbs. Where is the key?

If you cannot weep and can't find the key, how is the water being shed from your 'locked orbs'?

H