Innocence Without an Age Limit

[krebiehlr1]

Would appreciate feedback!


It’s odd I think of my bubble-blowing days
as I scratch these callused fingers on week old scruff,
still looking for my superhero cup
to sip my coffee from.

And looking at the peach rise behind the hills,
I can only wonder who spilled the cranberry juice
on the clouds.

But the longer I sit here in my sandbox
I realize Johnny Boy isn’t bringing his Tonkas,
and Marianne calls from the porch
for Jonathan to pack his lunch for work.

[Bar22do]

A nice potential here, Kreb, a sense of disquietude is felt notwithstanding the peaches. Welcome here! I like your debut!

[Jerrybaldy]

I like your style!

A yearning for childhood?... those bubble blowing days... nice phrase.

The second stanza, with the sun as a peach should not have worked, but did for me.

Johnny Boy becoming plain old Jonathan, off to work, closes it nicely. I really enjoyed reading it. Well done.

[Haunted]

I think this great. Very unique imageries and narrative, it's picturesque and also paints a more jaded mental picture.

You have a lot of talents, looking forward to reading more of your work.

[aliengirl]

An innocent way of cherishing the past. You've employed some singular images too. If not for Jerrybaldy's explanation, I'd not have got the 'peach' reference.

Good ink. Keep posting here. :)

[hillwalker]

A peach of a poem indeed.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Bumping this. Because it has stuck in my mind.

[krebiehlr1]

Bumping this. Because it has stuck in my mind.

Haha thanks! I am really glad people like it!

[Jack of Hearts]

This was good to read, especially:


And looking at the peach rise behind the hills,
I can only wonder who spilled the cranberry juice
on the clouds.








J