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cacian
09-03-2012, 04:31 AM
there was a passerine
perched on a submarine
I saw it move about
so quick upon the gard
it did not like the wild
the water and the stick
it felt hollow and raged
the pillage it had caged

there was a passerine
edged upon the slip
the wreckage had inflict'd
I saw it turn around
oblivious and found
a split visual myth
it looked adrift almost
desolate but stood fit

there was a passerine
that stood up to the grim
with true passionate stint
it took a simple whiff
then flew out of the grip
it went over a strip
to rise again and drift
the colours of its wings
was sunshine to its wit

hillwalker
09-03-2012, 10:08 AM
This reminds me of a game we used to play where we cut up passages from old books and rearranged the words to try and make the most absurd sentence possible.

I'm not sure whether or not we're supposed to take this poem seriously. Only you have the answer.

H

cacian
09-03-2012, 10:32 AM
This reminds me of a game we used to play where we cut up passages from old books and rearranged the words to try and make the most absurd sentence possible.

I'm not sure whether or not we're supposed to take this poem seriously. Only you have the answer.

H

hillwalker I thank you for your feedback.
I have indeed amended a couple of things here and there to give it more sense. There were few words that needed changing.
But yes it is to be taken which ever one wished.;)

hillwalker
09-03-2012, 11:03 AM
I have indeed amended a couple of things here and there to give it more sense. There were few words that needed changing.

Perhaps your interpretaton of 'sense' and mine differ. None of this made sense to me at all, apart from the assumption that it's about a bird perched on a submarine.

The word sounds are very melodious but its basically nonsense verse - a little like Edward Lear.

H