a dream

[cacian]

a proper dream
strawberry cream
is sugar chic
to river mead
in bling and pink

a river boat
aboard a lake
stunning with rigs
sails up the creek
to foutain lylt
to drench a steep
journey of deep

a proper dream
is silk and seam
to light and least
it slips with ease
at night and please
a dormant tear

[Dark Muse]

I really liked this, some beautifuly imagery, which I think really did invoke a dream like quality to it. I thought you did well with the rhyming.

[Lykren]

Pretty images, but the ungrammatical nature of their presentation (yes I realize you were trying to be dreamlike and fragmented) just didn't feel particularly effective.

I've read worse though.

[cacian]

Dark Muse thank you for the feedback so glad you liked this piece.:)
Lykren thank you for the feedback sorry it did not work for you.