Attraction

[E.A Rumfield]

I think the very thing that attracts us to someone, will ultimately repel us from that person.

Example, I meet this girl. I was 18 maybe I just turned 19 and she was 20 or 21. I was attracted to her by her strong personality. She spoke her mind and I found that very sexy. After spending more and more time with her I began to realize the things she had to say were quite stupid. Another example. I meet this girl and I was attracted by her raw sexual power. Everything she did spoke of sex to the most base level. Then I realized she was just a whore.

Agree or disagree?

[cacian]

I think this a loaded question with a misleading word and that is 'repellent'.
This post reminds of me good and bad binary stuff that humans are two opposites dimentional and there is no in between or outter.

I take a different view about feelings and everything else for that matter.
I have to admit that I have never been repelled by any of my ex partners although I have only had two major relationship the second I am in right now ones and may two insignificant ones.
I felt anger and frustrations but never repelllance.
I am not sure I understand your second point here because you accuse a girl of being a whore.
How do you go by labelling someone with something like that?
Where do you begin?

[E.A Rumfield]

I think this a loaded question with a misleading word and that is 'repellent'.
This post reminds of me good and bad binary stuff that humans are two opposites dimentional and there is no in between or outter.

I take a different view about feelings and everything else for that matter.
I have to admit that I have never been repelled by any of my ex partners although I have only had two major relationship the second I am in right now ones and may two insignificant ones.
I felt anger and frustrations but never repelllance.
I am not sure I understand your second point here because you accuse a girl of being a whore.
How do you go by labelling someone with something like that?
Where do you begin?


My point is that I think when we first meet someone we make something up in our as to why we like this person. We do not yet know this person and once we do this thing that was so likable at first turns out to be something we dislike just as soon as it suits us to do so.

The girl was a whore. Men can be whores too. It is not a biased thing. She used her body to advance her place in life. She didn't value herself for her mind. What would you consider a person that uses sex as a form of control or manipulation or advancement?

[cacian]

My point is that I think when we first meet someone we make something up in our as to why we like this person. We do not yet know this person and once we do this thing that was so likable at first turns out to be something we dislike just as soon as it suits us to do so.

The girl was a whore. Men can be whores too. It is not a biased thing. She used her body to advance her place in life. She didn't value herself for her mind. What would you consider a person that uses sex as a form of control or manipulation or advancement?

I see exactly what you mean.
I have never had something like this happen to me because I am a woman and so judging a man for using his body as form of manipulation never happened to me.
Men behave differently from women because sex is their intention and not their way of life.
I believe that if you like someone enough you stand by them no matter what. Dislikng someone straight away because of something they do say or have is judging them and running away from you.
There is no perfect person and there is never going to be one.
Unless you are prepared to let people in a little by accepting that reality is far more twisted and complex then a fairy story then you will always have a problem relationhip wise.
I think one should try to gowith the flow and show the person you care that there are others way to be.
Life does not change because of you but what must change is you and your views on how you relate to others you wish to libe with because you care.
By changing how you interact and be, with someone different from you, you have in fact changed a bit of you and the person you care for a lot and for the better.
Life is that easy to change if you are willing to do the first move for you and others.
Walking away thinking that you will meet someone else better is chasing an illusion.
Standing by your beliefs that you feel are fit and just and sharing them with others is a challenge well worth a try.

[Delta40]

I think we are all capable of rationalizing anything to suit the situation at the time. You called it attraction and then said it repelled you but one could equally argue that these labels, positive and negative alike were a matter of convenience for your own selfish needs and these people may have a different take than the labels you bestowed upon them (otherwise we must ask what it is about you that attracted/repulsed them)

This is definitely about self discovery.

Good luck

[Alexander III]

Men can be whores too.

No they can't. A key which can open many locks cannot be called a broken key. A lock which can be opened by any key on the other hand....

[E.A Rumfield]

I think we are all capable of rationalizing anything to suit the situation at the time. You called it attraction and then said it repelled you but one could equally argue that these labels, positive and negative alike were a matter of convenience for your own selfish needs and these people may have a different take than the labels you bestowed upon them (otherwise we must ask what it is about you that attracted/repulsed them)

This is definitely about self discovery.

Good luck

It was never a matter of repulsiveness. You say my selfish needs but I am able to admit that I am selfish and in fact we all are. Love as people speak so glowingly about does not exist. Love as a unselfish unknowing unthinking thing is not real. To say otherwise is to lie. Love is perhaps the most selfish thing. Not to love is harder than to love. How about this question. Do you think you could ever totally understand them without placing projections upon them? That's my point. We don't understand each other we project ourselves and qualities we see admirable upon each other and then become jaded when we find they are not how we painted them out to be.

[E.A Rumfield]

No they can't. A key which can open many locks cannot be called a broken key. A lock which can be opened by any key on the other hand....

That is really stupid and I hope you were kidding. Promiscuity is not the issue. To treat sex in a very business like way, like I said as a form of control manipulation or in the most literal sense as a way to make money makes a person a whore.

[Volya]

No they can't. A key which can open many locks cannot be called a broken key. A lock which can be opened by any key on the other hand....

Unless this post was in jest, then it seems pretty stupid to me.

If a man sells his body/sex for money or gain, he's a whore. Pretty simple.

EDIT: Looks like somebody got here before me.... xD

[Buh4Bee]

I can understand what you mean to a point. Mr. B4B is a very stoic and reserved person, and although I find it to be a strength in his personality, it can also be a weakness. He may be less willing to share or participate, and this I find frustrating. I, on the other hand, have a mouth like a sailor and at times, Mr. B4B doesn't mind, but it often makes him embarrassed for me. As time passes, these characteristics that we found charming or amusing, grow old and expose themselves for what they truely are.

[cacian]

No they can't. A key which can open many locks cannot be called a broken key. A lock which can be opened by any key on the other hand....

Realistically there is no such a thing as one key opening many doors.
That would means all doors are the same or a the key is uniform which really is not the case which would explains the locksmith.

This is a redundant comment because a key is designed to open one locked door at any given time.
If you want one key to open many doors then you will have to design a codesmith.
which mean you will need remove the keyhole and key and replace it with a passcode.
Then with one code you may open many doors more if wanted to.

[YesNo]

If a key opens locks it shouldn't open, the whole security system needs to be changed, not just the locks.

[Alexander III]

Realistically there is no such a thing as one key opening many doors.
That would means all doors are the same or a the key is uniform which really is not the case which would explains the locksmith.

This is a redundant comment because a key is designed to open one locked door at any given time.
If you want one key to open many doors then you will have to design a codesmith.
which mean you will need remove the keyhole and key and replace it with a passcode.
Then with one code you may open many doors more if wanted to.

Actually that is not true, here are two examples

1)Hotels, each room has it's own key which does not work on the other rooms. But A manager of the hotel always has a master key which opens every single room in the hotel

2)My home; every bedroom has an individual lock and key, but there is one key which is able to open ever single bed-room.

[tonywalt]

.............

[YesNo]

Actually that is not true, here are two examples

1)Hotels, each room has it's own key which does not work on the other rooms. But A manager of the hotel always has a master key which opens every single room in the hotel

2)My home; every bedroom has an individual lock and key, but there is one key which is able to open ever single bed-room.
In a hotel, the lock can be remotely coded to accept any number of similarly coded plastic key cards without the lock being considered to be "broken". Toss any individual key card away and management could easily replace it with another.

If the "master key" from one hotel worked on the rooms in a different hotel, the management of both hotels would probably think their security systems were at risk.

[E.A Rumfield]

Every ones a bunch of locksmiths now.

[Volya]

Actually that is not true, here are two examples

1)Hotels, each room has it's own key which does not work on the other rooms. But A manager of the hotel always has a master key which opens every single room in the hotel

2)My home; every bedroom has an individual lock and key, but there is one key which is able to open ever single bed-room.

My crowbar can open all your doors.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I knew Alex was going to break his streak of not saying something completely ignorant eventually.

[Pensive]

I find myself attracted to kindness and honesty in people and it has never had to turn into anything that would repel me.


If a key opens locks it shouldn't open, the whole security system needs to be changed, not just the locks.

:iagree:

[LadyLuck]

I find myself attracted to kindness and honesty in people and it has never had to turn into anything that would repel me.


Those are things I find I appreciate much more :) I don't think they are something that would come to make me find an individual repellant unless I were to mistake weakness for kindness. That would.

I can't say I've had many short relationships on which to base things. My last went on for over a decade. In the end, it wasn't the things that attracted me that repelled me. It was the things I ignored because of attraction and later love that did so.

[JuniperWoolf]

Honesty and kindness are often at odds. In order to be kind you frequently have no choice but to be dishonest and in order to be honest you often have to sacrifice kindness.

[Pensive]

You have got an interesting point there Juniper but I rather find honesty to be kindness itself.
At least it works for me this way, I could tolerate the seemingly ugliest if it's true and told/done straightforwardly. If it's meant kindly it's even better! Dishonesty however would be unkind on me. I personally think kindness is very relative as it is mostly about what a person actually requires from you. It wouldn't be kindness to give a sword to a blind man, and it wouldn't be kind to be dishonest to somebody who is looking all for honesty.

[cacian]

Attraction is a full package. Charms wits and personality. Honesty is a must of course.
A bit like a cocktail only you design it your way.