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Steven Hunley
08-30-2012, 01:04 AM
Bitter and Numb Nothing More
by

Steven Hunley



When Timothy woke up it wasn’t light yet. In June it gets foggy on the coast. Californians call it the “June Gloom” for good reason.

He walked through the kitchen and grabbed his army coat and a bottle of Jack Daniels, the half-empty bottle from the night before. He went back into the bedroom and put on his rubber flip-flops and walked out the sliding glass door silently, leaving Julie, her blond hair a tousle, asleep in his bed undisturbed. There was nothing wrong with Julie you understand. She was perfectly satisfactory---for a substitute. But she wasn’t the real thing. Kaleana was that. Kaleana was all that and more.

He stumbled to Ocean Beach pier, then across the deserted beach to the jetty. Something about the waves, about the interval between them, reminded him of that sunny day on the docks in San Francisco. The thought gave him no comfort. Thoughts never have the comforting nature of a woman's warm hand. The sunshiny afternoon had been shared with another woman, another woman entirely. No one was at the jetty either. It was unaccountably quiet. A single sandpiper nervously poked at a pile of seaweed while Tim tipped the bottom skyward and attempted to drown his sorrows.

He took off his flip-flops and forced his feet into the sand. It did no good. He still didn’t feel rooted and couldn’t feel his toes. Without thinking, he peeled off the label. In his pocket was a baggie of coke. It had been full, but that was last night, now only a frozen headache away. Last nights are never forever, no matter how much you crave them for memory’s sake. He pictured Julie lying in bed, and remembered a funny thing she said.

The mirror on the nightstand was devoid of product, they’d finished it off. He decided they needed a taste more, after all, each crumb was a possible laugh, and was lining it up. It wasn’t a mirror actually; it was a piece of cobalt blue glass from a welder’s helmet, quite small so it could be carried in your pocket. Small package, heavy burden. She watched eagerly as he chopped it up and drew sparkling snowy lines on cobalt blue with the sharp edge of his blade and a flick of his wrist.

She said with a sensuous smile, all sinister and sweet, “Give me three lines and you’ll get three more minutes.”

The girl really knew how to nasty. At that moment it was just what the doctor ordered.

But now was now. He bowed his head in silence and ran his fingers through his hair and folded his hands on his lap. Just as he noticed the sun refusing to break through the fog he took a last swallow of sacrament, and although it burned all the way down his throat, it still failed to warm his innards. Nothing would. In his pocket was the baggie half-full. In his other pocket was plenty of money. On his bed was a woman.

He didn’t give a tinker’s damn. She just wasn’t right.

He discovered a pencil stub and tipped up the bottle to drain the last drop of Jack while everywhere around him sullen grey waves washed relentlessly against the sodden shore. He had a lucid thought for a change and wanted to write it down. Placing the label on the bottle for support, he wrote on the back. Taking the baggie from his pocket, he rolled it up in the label and stuffed it in the bottle and screwed the cap on tight.

He didn’t want the fog, the fog was damp, or the money, the money brought out the worst in him, or the controlled substance, damn controlled substance anyway. What a joke. He never had any luck controlling it. Nobody did.

Much less the wrong girl. He wanted ‘the one who got away.’

With Kaleana he’d known comfort; a kind of deep-reaching comfort that’s hard to explain.

He found himself making his way towards the grey sharp-edged rocky jetty surrounded by mad foaming waves with white-laced necks. Flocks of seagulls screamed overhead but the wind reigned supreme and cut off their squeals like dying piglets who smelled blood and knew they were soon to be sausage. When he reached the enormous rock on the end, the Gibraltar of Ocean Beach, he took the bottle roughly by its neck and tossed it in with a mighty groan. Turning his back on the uncaring ocean he trod slowly home with a pair of feet he could barely lift free of the sand.

Days later, a couple, holding hands like tenuous lovers, found a bottle half-buried in the sand in a picturesque cove in Laguna Beach, almost a hundred miles north. They’d been watching the sunset together like lovers do, society expected it, every romantic movie they’d ever seen had it, and for personal reasons each kept to themselves. The horizon was bright and crackly, as if God himself with his infinite sense of color and design pinned colored cellophane over the sky with celestial push-points, using fingers that bestowed the spark of life to Adam on the wall of a certain chapel.

The girl pulled the bottle free of the sand.

“Look, a message in a bottle!”

She unscrewed the cap and poked her finger in.

She found a syrupy liquid dripping from a small baggy and before she thought about it, the silly girl placed the tip of her finger on her tongue.

“Oh,” she winced, “Whatever that is…it’s bitter!”

“Watch out!” cautioned her boyfriend. “It might be dangerous!”

She unrolled the paper. The empty baggy fell out, wet inside, but the writing in pencil on the label could still be read.

“What’s it say?”

“It says HELP, only help, that’s all.”

“Probably some kid trying to be funny.”

He grabbed it roughly from her hand with a harshness that didn’t bode well for their love life and threw it back in the surf.

The sun was a pale glow balanced on the edge of the waves. Foggy gloom stretched like cold dead fingers from the Pacific, invading the beach, enabling dark shadows to make it impossible to tell one thing from another. The loving couple dropped each others hands and shivered. They hurried across the width of sand like frightened Bedouins and mounted the cement steps that led up to their car. The streetlight flickered feebly leaving much of the stairway lost in deep pools of black; you had to watch your step, now that darkness enveloped the land. With each ascending step the taste grew more distinct.

Bitter and numb was how it felt, bitter and numb, nothing more.



©Steven Hunley 2012

Clayton
08-30-2012, 02:56 AM
I have to admit, I am no writer. When I get drunk I just put down crap that makes me feel better. You were the first one to comment on one of my posts and I hated you for tearing apart my grammar and mispelling and things like that. But the truth is, this story made me tear up. I know I will never be a good writer, but that's not the point. It all seems to make sense when you read something that hits close to home. Thank you for writing things worth reading. I just broke up with a girl I met at the beach. There is no substitute for her. I won her over with a poem I wrote. Maybe if I could write as gracefully as you, all of the pain would be worthwhile. There really are no second chances are there?

Steven Hunley
08-31-2012, 12:28 AM
This thing that you’re going through, the break-up and all may not be so much of an ending as you think. If there’s a chance, you might remain friends. It wasn’t your meter or rhyme or couplets that won her over initially, it was you expressing your thoughts to her in a romantic manner, who’s rules are ancient, and therefore becoming to love.

Love poems are a class unto themselves.

On the other hand, it may be a ‘good-bye’ situation, tear-filled and emotional. You learn something in the process. You learn you can’t be with her. Naturally she's irreplacable but someone may come along.

When she comes along you’ll want to exult her. You’ll want to sing her virtues and put bits and pieces of her character into any number of hot women characters you write of next. Their physical pieces will be her physical bits and pieces too. The peculiar way she smiles or snorts when she’s convulsing in naked laughter. Her favorite scent. The lousy way she makes meatloaf, (not you Kaleana, not ever you) How long she takes doing her hair. How stained her artistic (just kidding) fingers got when she baked you that cherry pie. (I’ll include a picture) (whoops this sounds like me) ( you'll make your own list)

She will literary be your “everything” in the most honest sense.

So if you want to record this new-found love affair I suggest keep slugging. Record your despair. Be Poe about it. (I’ll include a picture of a Raven) Write! Go ahead! No one is a “born writer.” It’s a skill, and like all skills, practice doesn't hurt.

Thanks for the critique and hope this made up for the other one that was harsh. Feel better.

“Don’t let it get you down

It’s only castles burning

Just find someone who’s turning

And you will come around"---Neil Young

And I believe there are second chances, and that (of all things) the third time is the charm.

smerdyakov
08-31-2012, 10:23 AM
Hi Steven. This was an engaging read. I liked the way you kept a lid on the MC's emotions and didn't let the piece spiral into melodrama, as often is the case with these type of stories (at least when I attempt them anyway :))

Also, the contrast in the second part of the story, with the young couple and the ironic language they use, is excellent, giving the story another dimension.
It's short and tight. Well done.

Clayton
09-03-2012, 10:52 AM
You are a fine human being. I am both grateful for your wisdom, and envious of your perspective. Unfortunately I have been made aware that the man which consumes all of the love interest's attention is an inmate on deathrow. She came from a far away place and we met against all odds, but now she has chosen to pour out her heart and soul to a murderer that she has never even met over a man who would die for her. How do you turn that into a poem? I suppose a stronger man could see that the beauty is in the memories made, but strength is better left to those who are willing to use it. Thank you my friend (and I chose that word carefully), but sometimes defeat is simply the more appropriate avenue. There are no ramparts to tend or colors to raise. Sometimes there are only the dead and the dying.

Steven Hunley
09-03-2012, 05:13 PM
Well, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your prose. It's only matched by the depths of your despair.

Perhaps she's found a safe haven for her desires, and can express them only to a man who's locked up safe and tight and who can never get out to be a threat. Perhaps she fears commitment, some people do.

I lost two lovers, one the mother of my children, so I understand sudden loss.

But these two women are different than yours though. They are gone. Their passing brought a finality to the situation. Yet I still don' t have what they call 'closure' now for either one. Your woman is still around. That makes it different. In a way it's not so final, but even so, we both probably have regrets, how we could have handled it differently, what we might have said. But as I said earlier, I believe the third time is the charm.

About 3 years ago, I started writing and posted my stuff on a now-defunct site. A woman commented on one of my photos and had read my stories. We started corresponding, and 7 thousand e-mails later we exchanged phone numbers, then met, and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

So maybe it isn't her you need or miss. Maybe it's love. You love someone, they're gone for whatever reason, and you learn something, maybe how to love better, and choose more wisely the next time around.

But it will return. I'm old (feel downright ancient until I've had my coffee) and have some perspective. Love comes when you're not looking and slaps your heart with it's weird combination of passion and tenderness, and it's incredible wrapper, wrapped up in the elegant form of a woman. It's a gift you don't ask for and feel you never quite deserve, and creeps up on your heart when you least expect it.

Just you watch out!

http://youtu.be/1zX1FT7p-fk

Of course you're probably working on number two, but for me, three was the magic number. She's the one who made the cherry pie in the picture! See the hearts on it? Now if that isn't love I don't know what is!

You'll get your Taste of Honey, sweet and bitter, close up and real, the taste none of us can do without. You're only dying to be reborn. You've only lost a battle, not the war.