Alone

[Lykren]

Alone
the light is silent.
Content
and proud to eat
one’s eyes with flashing
blue yellow red.
A battle
rises over the hill
full of lonely soldiers.
The air shudders
in contempt.
Why does the wild
electric night
never adore the alone?
Mysterious refusal.

[Bar22do]

I found the question, and the answer to it:



Why does the wild
electric night
never adore the alone?
Mysterious refusal.

powerful and thought provoking.

Thanks for sharing your poem, Lykren.

[Lykren]

And thank you, Bar, for your reading and enjoying it!

[Lykren]

Not entirely certain where to post this so I'll just stick it in here.

I want to wash
my sins
in gin.
Broken glass
on the sidewalk
broken glow
from a dirty mind.
I want to walk out and leave
stare and say goodbye.
Laughter in the stars
a blanket over my thoughts
dead cold and wondering
where
Morning
cries.

A preemptive thanks for any comments!

[hillwalker]

Of the two, there's more I like in the second poem than the first.

Like Bar, I found the question at the end of 'Alone' intriguing - not so sure you needed that closing line. Sometimes it's better to leave things unsaid or unexplained.

The second poem creates a clearer picture - though again, the 'sins'/'gin' rhyme was a minor distraction.

There's something despairing about the mood you manage to create; though there are some lines that seem over-elusive. Never less than interesting.

H

[Lykren]

Thanks, Hillwalker, that was helpful.

I actually didn't intend the last line of the first poem to be an 'answer' per se; just a comment on the nature of the 'never adoring'. But it's interesting that both of you saw it as an answer.