Another One

[Jack of Hearts]

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[Hawkman]

The only thing wrong with this poem ,Jack, is the word Mostly in S4. As a modifier it isn't clear what it modifies, The French the telling or the coffee. "Mostly coffee" doesn't really make sense in context. "coffee is mostly" would be clearer than "mostly is not." I'd just drop the word, it confuses the sense of the verse.

Apart from that. Really excellent.

Live and be well - H

[Jack of Hearts]

What an eye. Done and done Monsieur Hawk. Thank you for reading and the help.







J

[DocHeart]

I wanna know who "she" in S3 is. And I wanna know if "the mug she used to use" refers to an actual mug, the kind you pour coffee in, or a metaphorical one, like the one a man becomes when he falls for the wrong (but so right!) woman. I'm too stoned to go for the first choice.

They think he's Spanish. They also think he's thinking about coffee. And there he is, all alone, above the abyss.

Regards,
Doc "I misinterpret poems to suit my mood" Heart

[Jack of Hearts]

Delete

[DocHeart]

Ok Doc, you can meet her:

e|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|--------6-----5--------3----------------5/1--------------------------------|
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|--------7-----6--------4----------------6/2--------------------------------|
A|--------8-----7--------5----------------7/3--------------------------------|
E|--1--------5---------------3-----------------------0h1---------------------|



Nails so small,
paisley scar,
dime bag and

a broken heart.




J


I couldn't work this out sober, but she sounds like one you will remember.

DH

[Jack of Hearts]

delete

[Jack of Hearts]

delete