A Short Vacation in Tel Aviv

[Bar22do]

for Naï's prompt recovery

The morning behind the blinds only feels mild;
I lie in my bed and write about the sea
we battled with twice a day, under the red flag,
at the line where the city can’t go further west,
where waves have their last word and last fun.
We jumped up as they came for us, or
let them roll us in, like laundry in a drum
till we won, resumed, jumped again, then returned
to the cooling sand under white umbrellas:
front, back, front…
and back to charge at the waves -
four days dragged out of the bustling August heat
that spreads behind the blinds which now
I must raise.

(Jerusalem, August 18, 2012)

[Delta40]

Welcome back Bar. Every line is a journey and so thick in its imagery that I start to imagine that the poem is much more than just waves but is somehow embedded in warring politics - probably due to the subtle word usage throughout. Extraordinary gift you have Bar and always a pleasure to read your work.

[Charles Darnay]

Wonderful.

[Bar22do]

Nice to be back again. Thank you dear Delta, you never lose a whisper from behind the curtain!

Thanks a lot Charles D for your kind exclamation!

[Hawkman]

Deceptively simple, elegant and evocative. A pleasure to read. I hope that when the narrator raises the blinds she isn't overwhelmed by the August heat...

Live and be well - H

[Jeos]

for Naï's prompt recovery


We jumped up as they came for us, or
let them roll us in, like laundry in a machine’s drum
till we won, resumed, jumped again,

(Jerusalem, August 18, 2012)



Welcome back.
the above lines show that you are a good swimmer... you are capable of doing the half I can do with waves (laughs)...not bad not bad for a true poet:p ...

[Bar22do]

Thank you for your kind comments Hawk (I'm rather resigned as I raise the blinds... it gets warmer every day over here!) and Jeos (it's true, water is my element!).
A good end of summer to you and all.

[Jack of Hearts]

Bar, have you been adventuring? Lovely poem. Welcome back.






J

[aliengirl]

I'd be happy to join the chorus of praise about your elegant poem. Nice to see you again Bar. :)

[Bar22do]

Thank you so much Jack and aliengirl!!!!

[Lykren]

The rhythm in this poem is especially powerful, and almost as overwhelming as the power of the waves themselves. I also really liked how the four days were 'dragged' out of the August heat. Simply marvelous.

[Bar22do]

Lykren, thank you. Also for having noticed the connection between rhythm and waves. I'm happy you liked this little piece of my work.

[Haunted]

Bar, I feel transported with this poem. Such an lovely flow in this one, but so hard to achieve the effects you have here. The pairing of the opening and end completes gives it a sense of wistfulness.

[Bar22do]

Belated thanks, Haunted! These days my computer is in hospital. It lost its hard disc. This feels like living without head... Blessings from a random computer.