Please add your own title.

[Jerrybaldy]

Arseholes, wankers,
f uckwits, droopytits.
Twats with tourettes,
poets wringing s hit from rainbows
and colours from crap.
Dutch cap, phallic strap.

Arse munchers, pubic lunchers,
fellatio fans.
Fly swallowing maniac,
cum swapping insomniac,
s hit tasting, gastronomic.
Sluts with crabs, incontinents,
golden shower debutantes.

Zealots, crazed creationists,
bully boys, sex toys,
drug riddled, paranoids.
Anti Semitics, botox aesthetics,
cops and robbers,
dribbling blow jobbers.
Alcoholics, catholic priests
and choir boy frolics.

Halitosis, hairy toes,
crusty nose, panty line shows.
Camel’s foot, foot rot,
snot, bigots, idiots,
heretic, philistine,
what’s yours is mine.

[Delta40]

It's a bottom of the barrel buffet of ideas! Do I have to swallow though?

[E.A Rumfield]

You seem to be flinging an awful lot of sh1t.

[Sionn Harrow]

I'm not sure I see a purpose behind the slew of depravities, but this would make for an excellent rap.

[Jack of Hearts]

Speaking as a phallic strap and also a little bit of a f uckwit, this reader finds this poem degrading!





J

[firefangled]

Maybe taking after Rilke songs: "What the Priest Hears"

[Hawkman]

Tourettes would certainly explain the compulsion to subject us to this.

[bIGwIRE]

Tourettes would certainly explain the compulsion to subject us to this.

Tourettes would produce more repetition.

Sounds like an open mic night at a Howard Stern poetry jam.

[Jerrybaldy]

A bit disappointed that nobody suggested a title.

This piece of work explored the paradox of how we choose the act of making love and sexual body parts as our main terms of abuse.

I jest of course ( although I may have got away with that as an excuse for 'subjecting' you to this). In reality I was just having a
f ucking ball :cuss:.

I doubt I offended anybody, but if I did, great.

[Jack of Hearts]

FF suggested a title. And so will Jack of Hearts: "Dear Mother, Camp is Dandy."





J


EDIT: That's actually pretty interesting, in your response there JB. But this reader didn't pick up on all that. The crux seems to come in the last line, which suggested to the reader that the narrator was just calling himself the obscenities he listed? Well, since that interpretation was wrong, and if nothing else, somebody learned a lot of new words today.

[bIGwIRE]

A bit disappointed that nobody suggested a title.

This piece of work explored the paradox of how we choose the act of making love and sexual body parts as our main terms of abuse.

I jest of course ( although I may have got away with that as an excuse for 'subjecting' you to this). In reality I was just having a
f ucking ball :cuss:.

I doubt I offended anybody, but if I did, great.

I didn't feel like you "explored" any paradox, maybe you did while writing it, but I didn't see it in the piece. I think you just rymed a bunch of naughty words, and, in my opinion, in a less than creative way... that was more offensive than the content, imo..


Also, Hawk suggested "Tourettes" as a title? I second the motion.

[Hawkman]

Actually mine was more an observation than a suggestion for a title. firefangled did actually suggest one though.

I can't claim to have been offended, merely depressed that someone who I know can write, and write well, felt it necessary to expose his inner naughty schoolboy to public view. Hopefully, having dropped his trousers, he's got it out of his system and can get back to writing something worth reading.

[Buh4Bee]

Jerry- If you delivered this to the right audience, I think a lot of people could have a good laugh. And I am not talking about The 50 Shades of Gray crowd.

How about Many Shades of Fornication?

[AuntShecky]

How about a long title:

Everybody's Screwed Up 'Cept Me and You (And I'm Not So Sure About You)


That's not my best title for this, but I can't post that one 'cause it's too political!

[MANICHAEAN]

"Leave the door open, I have not finished?"

[Jerrybaldy]

Bigwire. It pays to read something fully before you repost it then comment on it. If you have a go at reading what you reposted, the bit after it being a paradox began, ' I jest of course'

Hawk. Nobody is subjected to anything on here. You can choose not to read and not to comment as I have with some of your postings. As for the boy dropping his trousers metaphor, If I was trying to shock, I would not have written this. Also, if you find this depressing, I dont know how you get through the day.

Thank you Jack, Buh4Bee, Auntie and Manichaen. Auntie your actual real title for this is very funny :D

Its not the best thing I have ever written and the best thing I have ever written is probably only a quarter finalist (sorry, still in olympic mode), but I think it has a creativity in its listing but either way I will take my leave with the Sex Pistols..

FRIGGIN' IN THE RIGGIN
Oi Scurvies,listen to this then
It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, you should've seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, was a mammoth penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty f**ker
He wasn't fit to shovel sh**
From one place to another
Chorus:
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
There was f*** all else to do
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play on his f***ing organ
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
Chorus.......
Hold on give it some bollocks,bollocks,bollocks....
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his c**k on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was Kipper
He was a f***ing nipper
He stuffed his a** with a broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
Chorus........
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To f*** she was not able
So the dirty sh**s, they nailed her tits
Across the bar room table
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And invited squeals and milk and eels
Had found her sexual quarters
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
There was f**k all else to do..

[Delta40]

I think Do I Have to Swallow? (as accidental as it might have been :yikes:) qualifies

[hillwalker]

For the record, JB, the chorus is actually:

Frigging in the rigging,
Tossing on the crossing,
Wanking on the planking,
There was F uck all else to do.

H

[MANICHAEAN]

I seem to remember the additional verse;

"The first mate's name was Tucker,

By God he was a fuc*er,

He wasn't fit to shovel sh*t,

From one ship to another."



Ah, happy schoolboy days immersed in the Greats of schoolboy poetry!
My favourite was;
"The boy stood on the burning deck,
His feet were full of blisters.
He had one finger up --------"

[bIGwIRE]

Bigwire. It pays to read something fully before you repost it then comment on it. If you have a go at reading what you reposted, the bit after it being a paradox began, ' I jest of course' ..


I did read it all, but with the sentences separated into two paragraphs I failed to guess what you were jesting at. My bad, sorry bout that. I shouldn't have posted on this, as I didn't have anything nice to say. Again, sorry if I stepped on your toes.