zomg moar poemz

[Jack of Hearts]

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[Jack of Hearts]

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[MystyrMystyry]

STREAKS ACROSS BLUE SKY

I promise you
the cracked wafer moon

hanging in late sky
is no sad sight.

I meant it.
This love can grow more perfect
if we let it hurt,

if we leave it here
in blood and dirt.

REFLECTIONS ON WATER

This summer night is wine blush,
skin flushed

in the creek with a shooting star
and Venus in transit.


First!


Seriously though these are plenty fine JackoH. It was asked of me the other day if I could flesh out my 'poems', and I was set to thinking ah but to be able to deal a perfect reduction!

Perhaps one day

[Jeos]

Liked even if the last S:

if we leave it here
in blood and dirt.[/QUOTE]

Is surprisingly virulent compared to the others...

(Or it's perhaps aboiut mud fights between women ?:thumbsup:)

[Jeos]

not bed for an Haiku... so you're acquainted with astrology...

[Jack of Hearts]

Oh jesus. Not the H word.








J

[Jack of Hearts]

Thanks by the way. Both of you.






J

[Jack of Hearts]

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[Jack of Hearts]

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[The Truth]

^ Beautiful, simply beautiful.

[firefangled]

All of these are exquisite. I may have done the line breaks differently in Love, but your way certainly slows the pace, which is what is needed in such an emotional poem.

Nicely done, Jack. I'm sure Rosemary and Lilly were pleased.

[Jeos]

"Joli" but why not try to say the "old" things in a "new"way - wording it differently

[AuntShecky]

Only two questions actually.

1. Why is there a change of verb tense "meant" in the first offering?

2. Since all of the offerings are rich with imagery, I would prefer more specific, less generalized, titles.

[Jack of Hearts]

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[billl]

This one is nice, what the heck: perfect. The sound of the unfolding--pretty intimate come to think of it... I came this close to linking to a Rihanna video, btw. Because this is what it's all about--the important all, anyhow.

[qimissung]

I like the first two best, and also Love. The imagery is so tender and rich. Beautifully done.

[Silas Thorne]

I'll only concentrate on one right now, since time only allows that. 'Streaks Across Blue Sky'. Says just what it needs to say. You've cut the words well, but I suspect I've come to look at it after a long process of editing.
People can stare at the sparkle and tinsel of things, with all that 'love you forever' bollocks, but blood and dirt is real. There's pain, but hey, I don't see the beauty otherwise.

[Jack of Hearts]

Thanks billl. When the sun shines we'll shine together.

Thanks qi. Thanks The Truth.

And thanks Silas. It's good to see you back around.






J

[Jerrybaldy]

Hey Jack
I agree with Qim in loving the first two the best. You have the ability to construct words and phrases that sound exqiuisite and whisper of a brevity within.

Still wish you had posted each one individually, but thats just me.
Cheers Jack.

[DocHeart]

There's lots to read here. Thanks for contributing these love poems, Jack. It's seems you're enjoying your writing.

'Streaks Across Blue Sky' stood out for me. Does love become greater with hardship? With abandon? Arguably, only true love can survive those, and true love is perfect.

You're a true romantic. You know that, right? :)


DH

[Jack of Hearts]

Thanks guys.

And nah, Doc. Just a guy who's fallen in and out of things, weak legged and knobbly knee'd as a newborn colt taking its first steps into dark pastures where you can't see but you can feel.







J