Breaking Down

[Delta40]

The bookcase bends, hunches.
Thick shelves bow
collapsing under a wheezing weight.
A devolving neanderthal
clothed under primitive coats
of dust and sticky coffee cup rings.
Its shape now folding inward,
back to its unassembled parts.
Unknown,
Anonymous.

Somebody coughed & choked
over its contents
while another revelled in their fortune
at finding such a piece
in this far corner of the world.
My eyes are full
as I come apart.
There are no more adjustments
to be made
and the allen keys were lost
years ago.

Slowly, softly, one single tear
spills over and splashes
on to the fixed shelf
that cracks under the burden
of Chilren's Nursery Rhymes
Phrase & Fable,
Rogues & Villains
and I ask you to brush away
all that I have known
with a single stroke of your hand.

[Jack of Hearts]

Took it that the crumpling bookshelf comes to be a symbol for the speaker him or herself. Some of the detail in the middle is hard to understand, but as someone who has felt a little hurt/burden himself, this reader feels like he understands the desire to clear away. Poignant.







J

[MystyrMystyry]

Another winner from Delta!

There are so many good lines here, and the use of the bookshelf metaphor is genius :)

[Bar22do]

Very strong, Delta, I have read it several times and felt with the N. Not much time to write or comment these days for my own bookcase is collapsing just as you described it. Kudos for this one.

[Delta40]

Thanks for the reviews. I know i"m in a bit of pit right now but I'm sure it will change over time.

[Scheherazade]

I agree with the previous comments that it is a very strong and expressive piece, Delta, without being verbose or cluttered.

I feel it might be an idea to experiment with adding "and" between "bends" and "hunches". To me, "someone" reads better than "somebody" (but this might be an utterly personal preference).

Also, all the "it's" in the poem should be "its".

"There are no more adjustments / to be made / and the allen keys were lost / years ago." are my favourite lines in the poem.

[Delta40]

Oops! thanks Scher

[ShadowsCool]

Love the language and how it moves so smooth