Elphyon
07-24-2012, 06:02 PM
“Are you hearing it right at this moment?” asks Dr. Singh.
Dr. Singh is a portly man in his forties with a shock of prematurely white hair who likes to spend his time in between appointments in the little garden at the back of his house. Johnny and I have never seen him without dirt under his nails. He seems always to be emanating the appetizing scent of freshly turned earth, herbs and spices.
“Yes.” Johnny says. His right leg’s been shaking all day. He’s hardly slept all night.
“Well, what is it saying?”
“It’s describing you.”
“Oh? And how am I described?”
“As a gardening enthusiast in his forties.”
That is a gross reduction of my nuanced description, Johnny. What I meant to indicate was that Dr. Singh is one delicious looking and smelling human specimen. I’ve been salivating after him for weeks now.
“That’s very astute of it,” says Dr. Singh. “Is it saying anything else?”
Thank him for his compliment Johnny. And tell him I can’t wait to eat him up. Gosh, I want to eat him, Johnny. Let me eat him up. Please.
“No—I mean, yes.”
“And?”
“I can’t say.”
“Mr. Albright.”
“It doesn’t matter to you what it says, does it? It’s a hallucination; obviously I’m not going to do whatever it tells me to do.”
“Obviously. But still, I would still like to know.”
“Why? I chose you specifically because you don’t practice the… psychobabble.”
Yeah. I don’t miss those hacks. Always leading back to how your dad walked out on your mom all those years ago. And the shock therapy! I did not enjoy watching you suffer, Johnny. I never do. I would have killed them all only if you let me. I love you. You’re my Dad.
“Be that as it may. The content of your hallucination might have some bearing on my diagnosis.”
“You’ll think I’m psychotic.”
“Psychosis is merely an illness, Mr. Albright.”
“You’ll want to commit me to a nuthouse.”
“Asylums in this state have undergone radical improvements in recent years.”
Dr. Singh is the father you never had but don’t let that fool you, Johnny. A nuthouse is always a nuthouse. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days locked up? All doped out on those pills, sleeping away your life?
“I won’t consent to it.”
“But you must have known that was a possibility when you came to see me.” Dr. Singh’s voice is gentle but firm. I can only hope the same is true of his tongue. “So. Do tell me what it is you’re being told to do.”
“Right now it’s telling me you’re an arrogant hack and that I should slit your throat.”
“Mr. Albright.”
Johnny clamps down on his shaking leg. “All right, I made that up. But it does want to kill you.”
Well, I put it far more subtly than that.
“Does it specifically want you to… slit my throat?”
“No, no, no. It doesn’t want me to do anything. Except let it.”
“Ah, of course. So does it specifically want to slit my throat?”
“No. It speaks rather… metaphorically. It wants to eat you.”
“I see.”
“And it’s asking for your permission to do that?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re not letting it.”
“I haven’t said no yet.”
“When was the last time it asked for your permission to do something?”
“This is the first time.”
“Are you inclined to listen?”
“Do you mean, am I going to let it…”
“Eat me for,” Dr. Singh checks his watch. “Lunch.”
“I don’t think it matters what I say, Dr. Singh. It’s a hallucination. It can’t… It has no physical presence.”
I’m right here, Johnny. You won’t disavow me yet.
“But it does exist in your head.”
“That’s a leading question, Dr. Singh.” Johnny snaps at him. “Why do you want to commit me so badly?”
The doctor’s a bit taken aback. “I assure you, Mr. Albright, that is not my intention. I would much rather see you continue on with your life… undisturbed.”
“How very kind of you.”
Sarcasm is unbecoming of you, Johnny. That’s my domain.
“We’re all humans, Mr. Albright; by definition we are all a little bit insane.”
“Right.”
“It’s simply a matter of functionality. As long as one functions well enough in society, in tolerable manner, we can choose to call it other names.”
“And I’m functioning very well.”
“Better than most psychotics I’ve met.” Dr. Singh beams a benevolent smile. “Now, are you still hearing your shadow?”
“Yes.”
“Is it still nagging?”
Not fair, Dr. Singh. I am a child who hasn’t been fed properly. You shouldn’t call it nagging. Johnny is the one that’s being a bad parent. You’re a bad parent, Johnny.
“Yes.”
“I want you to answer it with a positive.”
“What?”
“I wish to examine your behaviour when you do.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Mr. Albright.”
Johnny’s turning paler than wax. “Not to mention highly unorthodox.”
“Is that not why you chose me in the first place?”
“But—” Johnny shakes his head. “Is this really necessary? I don’t feel comfortable at all.”
“There’s nothing to worry. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself should you demonstrate hostile behaviour.” I don’t doubt it. He’s a well-built man, Dr. Singh. Johnny looks a matchstick in comparison. You look like a matchstick, Johnny. You really must eat more. “Not that I think it will come to that.”
“So you want me to say yes? To my…”
“To your shadow.”
“To my shadow.”
“Precisely.”
“That sounds crazy.”
“Mr. Albright.”
“All right.” But Johnny doesn’t look quite all right. So Johnny, can I? “Yes. Yes. You can eat him.”
I reach out with my dark, ethereal hands. Dr Singh doesn’t even know what’s happening. Oh! Such delight. Such satisfaction. Freshness itself. Yum.
I look up and see Johnny reeling away on the sofa. He’s wet his pants.
“Geez, Johnny.” He’s staring at me with mouth agape. “I’m gonna have to add the cleaning fee to your bill.”
Dr. Singh is a portly man in his forties with a shock of prematurely white hair who likes to spend his time in between appointments in the little garden at the back of his house. Johnny and I have never seen him without dirt under his nails. He seems always to be emanating the appetizing scent of freshly turned earth, herbs and spices.
“Yes.” Johnny says. His right leg’s been shaking all day. He’s hardly slept all night.
“Well, what is it saying?”
“It’s describing you.”
“Oh? And how am I described?”
“As a gardening enthusiast in his forties.”
That is a gross reduction of my nuanced description, Johnny. What I meant to indicate was that Dr. Singh is one delicious looking and smelling human specimen. I’ve been salivating after him for weeks now.
“That’s very astute of it,” says Dr. Singh. “Is it saying anything else?”
Thank him for his compliment Johnny. And tell him I can’t wait to eat him up. Gosh, I want to eat him, Johnny. Let me eat him up. Please.
“No—I mean, yes.”
“And?”
“I can’t say.”
“Mr. Albright.”
“It doesn’t matter to you what it says, does it? It’s a hallucination; obviously I’m not going to do whatever it tells me to do.”
“Obviously. But still, I would still like to know.”
“Why? I chose you specifically because you don’t practice the… psychobabble.”
Yeah. I don’t miss those hacks. Always leading back to how your dad walked out on your mom all those years ago. And the shock therapy! I did not enjoy watching you suffer, Johnny. I never do. I would have killed them all only if you let me. I love you. You’re my Dad.
“Be that as it may. The content of your hallucination might have some bearing on my diagnosis.”
“You’ll think I’m psychotic.”
“Psychosis is merely an illness, Mr. Albright.”
“You’ll want to commit me to a nuthouse.”
“Asylums in this state have undergone radical improvements in recent years.”
Dr. Singh is the father you never had but don’t let that fool you, Johnny. A nuthouse is always a nuthouse. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days locked up? All doped out on those pills, sleeping away your life?
“I won’t consent to it.”
“But you must have known that was a possibility when you came to see me.” Dr. Singh’s voice is gentle but firm. I can only hope the same is true of his tongue. “So. Do tell me what it is you’re being told to do.”
“Right now it’s telling me you’re an arrogant hack and that I should slit your throat.”
“Mr. Albright.”
Johnny clamps down on his shaking leg. “All right, I made that up. But it does want to kill you.”
Well, I put it far more subtly than that.
“Does it specifically want you to… slit my throat?”
“No, no, no. It doesn’t want me to do anything. Except let it.”
“Ah, of course. So does it specifically want to slit my throat?”
“No. It speaks rather… metaphorically. It wants to eat you.”
“I see.”
“And it’s asking for your permission to do that?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re not letting it.”
“I haven’t said no yet.”
“When was the last time it asked for your permission to do something?”
“This is the first time.”
“Are you inclined to listen?”
“Do you mean, am I going to let it…”
“Eat me for,” Dr. Singh checks his watch. “Lunch.”
“I don’t think it matters what I say, Dr. Singh. It’s a hallucination. It can’t… It has no physical presence.”
I’m right here, Johnny. You won’t disavow me yet.
“But it does exist in your head.”
“That’s a leading question, Dr. Singh.” Johnny snaps at him. “Why do you want to commit me so badly?”
The doctor’s a bit taken aback. “I assure you, Mr. Albright, that is not my intention. I would much rather see you continue on with your life… undisturbed.”
“How very kind of you.”
Sarcasm is unbecoming of you, Johnny. That’s my domain.
“We’re all humans, Mr. Albright; by definition we are all a little bit insane.”
“Right.”
“It’s simply a matter of functionality. As long as one functions well enough in society, in tolerable manner, we can choose to call it other names.”
“And I’m functioning very well.”
“Better than most psychotics I’ve met.” Dr. Singh beams a benevolent smile. “Now, are you still hearing your shadow?”
“Yes.”
“Is it still nagging?”
Not fair, Dr. Singh. I am a child who hasn’t been fed properly. You shouldn’t call it nagging. Johnny is the one that’s being a bad parent. You’re a bad parent, Johnny.
“Yes.”
“I want you to answer it with a positive.”
“What?”
“I wish to examine your behaviour when you do.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Mr. Albright.”
Johnny’s turning paler than wax. “Not to mention highly unorthodox.”
“Is that not why you chose me in the first place?”
“But—” Johnny shakes his head. “Is this really necessary? I don’t feel comfortable at all.”
“There’s nothing to worry. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself should you demonstrate hostile behaviour.” I don’t doubt it. He’s a well-built man, Dr. Singh. Johnny looks a matchstick in comparison. You look like a matchstick, Johnny. You really must eat more. “Not that I think it will come to that.”
“So you want me to say yes? To my…”
“To your shadow.”
“To my shadow.”
“Precisely.”
“That sounds crazy.”
“Mr. Albright.”
“All right.” But Johnny doesn’t look quite all right. So Johnny, can I? “Yes. Yes. You can eat him.”
I reach out with my dark, ethereal hands. Dr Singh doesn’t even know what’s happening. Oh! Such delight. Such satisfaction. Freshness itself. Yum.
I look up and see Johnny reeling away on the sofa. He’s wet his pants.
“Geez, Johnny.” He’s staring at me with mouth agape. “I’m gonna have to add the cleaning fee to your bill.”