Alpha Males: Aye or Nay?

[Scheherazade]

Following the ongoing discussions...

:D

[cacian]

I have just voted and I must confess I do find the word Alpha associated with male of or female quite irritating and that is not wanting tobe rude at all.
If I had to put it into words the closest I got with this expression Alphamale is like saying a macho male.
I might be wrong but that is my understanding of it.

[Alexander III]

I don't get what the pole is asking ?

[Jack of Hearts]

Haha, now this is stupid. Amusing though.






J

[Darcy88]

I believe there is no such thing as a pure alpha male. I am extremely alpha male when in certain situations, like a supreme alpha bragging and flirting and insulting, and then the other half I am extreme beta, a total coward.

I am a beta before my romantic interests, my parents, and, above all, before God.

A man who is only alpha all the time is going to be hated and despised and treated like a leper. Only by juggling both - the alpha and the beta behavioral complexes - can a man be well liked by women, by other men, by everyone.

Its tough to be an alpha male. Its tough keeping up that projection of strength and confidence. I can only do it by submitting before God and the people I love. Especially my parents.

[Emil Miller]

I don't get what the pole is asking ?

I didn't know Scheherazade was Polish.

[papayahed]

I didn't know Scheherazade was Polish.

She makes a mean pierogi!!!

[LitNetIsGreat]

I don't get what it is asking either. Is it asking if you are one (male or female) if you want to date one or if you believe in their existence?


I have just voted and I must confess I do find the word Alpha associated with male of or female quite irritating and that is not wanting tobe rude at all.
If I had to put it into words the closest I got with this expression Alphamale is like saying a macho male.
I might be wrong but that is my understanding of it.

Did you see the link I supplied in the other thread which explained it very simply? I'll post it again below to help other females who struggle with the term and consequently fall at the knees to lines such as "now then love, get your coat, you've pulled" (that's what they say in Barnsley) ...or "are you rich as well as beautiful. I'm only interested in you if you are both." etc, etc.

You might say that an alpha male would get away with those lines, other men wouldn't.

...



http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-an-alpha-male.htm

Quote:
In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status...

In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals...

In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.

The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Haha, now this is stupid. Amusing though.






J

Especially since we can't even define what an alpha-male is or whether or not they exist.

I'm surprised this was made also seeing as how the other thread has created so many personalized comments.

[Darcy88]

An alpha male is a man who is dominant. Einstein was a kind of alpha male. Albert Camus was a kind of alpha male.

What many people define as alpha males are simply physically dominant men. A man can be an alpha male and be of small stature.

Cicero was an alpha male despite his weakness of body and dislike for war. Caesar was alpha for obvious reasons.

Its just dominance. People are mistaking a certain kind of dominance (physical might) for alpha male dominance in general.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Men. Whatever. I'm done participating in these threads, or corresponding with moderators on the forums.

[Paulclem]

I've used the term "bloke-man" before to denote a male who is more manly than men - hairier, more aggressive, dominant, loudmouthed, intolerant, bullying and leader like in an aggressive playground kind of way - or, to put it another way, like the silverback gorilla of the group. They aren't the cleverest, but they can punch pretty hard, so the smaller, more daring loudmouths like myself feel the full force of their ire when, as I invariably did, I took the piss. (That has been, and still is in certain circles, my role - the annoyer).

I have met and been aggressed by these chaps. They certainly exist, but they are not comfortable to be around if you are after a quiet life.

[Revolte]

I have met and been aggressed by these chaps. They certainly exist, but they are not comfortable to be around if you are after a quiet life.

God is that true. It doesn't mean their life is exciting either, it's more like a really bad drama. Everything is melodramatic aside from the protagonist in his/her own eyes where she/he is the peacemaker, the holy figure, the grease of the pizza.


I've known some of those people who are actually fairly bright. But their obsession with proving themselves overruns their ability to analyze. And because they come first, it doesn't matter who they hurt in the process as long as they can feel good about what they think they are seen as.

[cacian]

An alpha male is a man who is dominant. Einstein was a kind of alpha male. Albert Camus was a kind of alpha male.

What many people define as alpha males are simply physically dominant men. A man can be an alpha male and be of small stature.

Cicero was an alpha male despite his weakness of body and dislike for war. Caesar was alpha for obvious reasons.

Its just dominance. People are mistaking a certain kind of dominance (physical might) for alpha male dominance in general.

Hi Darcy and with all due respect to you I find what you state quite intriguing and thank you ellucidating this alpha thing humm it makes me think of Romeo Romeo is that meant for women then haha.
First of all it is interesting and I wonder if Camus would have minded to have been called an alpha male.
I now I would not and I am female.
Dominance is rather pitiful when it comes to control and I see it as a weakness rather then a strength.
I think the true power is in the mind not the physical side of things.

[Scheherazade]

I don't get what the pole is asking ?


I don't get what it is asking either. Is it asking if you are one (male or female) if you want to date one or if you believe in their existence?
.Was there a confusion in the previous "Aye or Nay?" threads?

Was there ever a question that we were discussing the existence of Sundays, broccoli or TV dinners in those threads?


Especially since we can't even define what an alpha-male is or whether or not they exist. Oh, I was under the impression that you were dead certain that they did exist as well as considering it "stupid" not to pine after them... So much so that those who claim a dislike for men who show this kind of behaviour must be less than honest.

The poll simply aims to investigate how men and female members of the Forum view the concept of alpha males.


I've used the term "bloke-man" before to denote a male who is more manly than men - hairier, more aggressive, dominant, loudmouthed, intolerant, bullying and leader like in an aggressive playground kind of way - or, to put it another way, like the silverback gorilla of the group. They aren't the cleverest, but they can punch pretty hard, so the smaller, more daring loudmouths like myself feel the full force of their ire when, as I invariably did, I took the piss. (That has been, and still is in certain circles, my role - the annoyer).

I have met and been aggressed by these chaps. They certainly exist, but they are not comfortable to be around if you are after a quiet life.Thank you, Paul. This pretty much sums up my views as well.

Does anyone really want to take one of those home with them?

[Monamy]

I don't know about you guys, but I always thought Alpha and Beta is related to animals when it comes to relations/attitude. So this topic kinda... worries me.

[YesNo]

My view of an alpha male is a single guy with few financial responsibilities and so plenty of disposable income who enjoys the challenge of getting a woman to have sex with him where there is a certain amount of risk involved such as her having a husband or boyfriend who might come after him.

One feature about him is that he is not discrete. If he is working late on Friday evening with a reasonably attractive woman and she decides its OK just this once to have sex with him, first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.

[cacian]

My view of an alpha male is a single guy with few financial responsibilities and so plenty of disposable income who enjoys the challenge of getting a woman to have sex with him where there is a certain amount of risk involved such as her having a husband or boyfriend who might come after him.
Hi YesNo that is one frame of mind I cannot get into not matter how much I try to get some sense out of this 'risk' business.
Someone tried once to explain it to me, the thrill behind the concept of wanting to do something in hiddance but then at the same time wanting to be caught. It is totally lost on me. It is one hell of a complicated state of mind if you do not mind me saying. It defeats the whole idea of having sex for the pleasure of sex and makes sex sound like a cheap scapegoat for the sake of a mental thrill which is totally not without consequences.
It is almost as if one is wanting to be punished for an act he or she did not really care much about.
I guess it does play on the idea of tormented pleasure.
Is there a way around it is my question?
I guess that is the only explanation I can give to this kind of mental thrills.

One feature about him is that he is not discrete. If he is working late on Friday evening with a reasonably attractive woman and she decides its OK just this once to have sex with him, first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.
It takes two to tango and that is why business and pleasure simply do not mixt or do they?

[PoeticPassions]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

[tonywalt]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

Well Thanks Poetic! A refreshing view - and not a little bit different than the main female view.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Was there a confusion in the previous "Aye or Nay?" threads?

Was there ever a question that we were discussing the existence of Sundays, broccoli or TV dinners in those threads?


I just wondered as some people questioned their very existence?! So we are voting if we like them or not? Difficult to say for me, but it will be interesting to see how the ladies vote on this one...and if we believe them...:nod:



Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
I've used the term "bloke-man" before to denote a male who is more manly than men - hairier, more aggressive, dominant, loudmouthed, intolerant, bullying and leader like in an aggressive playground kind of way - or, to put it another way, like the silverback gorilla of the group. They aren't the cleverest, but they can punch pretty hard, so the smaller, more daring loudmouths like myself feel the full force of their ire when, as I invariably did, I took the piss. (That has been, and still is in certain circles, my role - the annoyer).

I have met and been aggressed by these chaps. They certainly exist, but they are not comfortable to be around if you are after a quiet life.


Thank you, Paul. This pretty much sums up my views as well.

Does anyone really want to take one of those home with them?

You would think not, but after seeing hundreds of women falling at their knees, obviously so.

To be fair though they are not all as rough as described above necessarily.

[Scheherazade]

... it will be interesting to see how the ladies vote on this one...and if we believe them...:nod:Of course, why would you believe them??? They would just say one thing and do just the opposite, silly cretins!
You would think not, but after seeing hundreds of women falling at their knees, obviously so.I know, right? And I bet they would still pick "nay" in this poll as well! :p


To be fair though they are not all as rough as described above necessarily.Speaking from experience?

[Emil Miller]

...first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.

Not only the colleagues but I know of a case where a guy I worked with had to leave town and stay with his parents because the woman in question actually told her husband, who then went around town asking the after the guy and saying that he was going to kill him.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Of course, why would you believe them??? They would just say one thing and do just the opposite, silly cretins!

I know, right? And I bet they would still pick "nay" in this poll as well!

I thought saying one thing and doing the opposite was a female speciality.


Speaking from experience?

Speaking from experience.

[Scheherazade]

Speaking from experience.I am glad at least your experiences with alpha males have been pleasant.

:)

[Paulclem]

Is the alpha male the antithesis of the metrosexual male?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=metrosexual

Interesting off-shoot from the attraction thread.

[tonywalt]

American Heritage dictionary: Alpha - Being the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one's sex.

I could give other sources, but that's not what is at issue here. What is at issue here:

Many people (including men) do not like this word (and perhaps for good reason-understandably) as the word can easily connote by most definition- powerful/chauvinistic alpha males. And many people, even without feminist views, do not like that type of male. And rightly so.

I would heartily agree that given the imperfect nature of humans- they too often take advantage/abuse what power they have whether it be money, political, or gender. This is certainly true of males, hence the feminist movement - and feminists were/are right in their intention and views. It comes from a good place.

It is similar, but not the same for other words that have negative connotations - like Negro(scientific word, but not conversationally exceptable in the West). Because it harkens back to disgraceful and unpleasant history. Personally, it is not an emotive word - but I can see how it would be for others.

This posting is an Olive Branch that was always available by myself, as I harbour no chauvinistic beliefs and do not tolterate men that do harbour such beliefs or commit any actions that reflect that belief.

Tony

[JuniperWoolf]

I don't know about you guys, but I always thought Alpha and Beta is related to animals when it comes to relations/attitude.

It is. I think this whole Alpha Beta as applied to humans is a game, like tribal fantasy play, because it sure isn't empirical. How would you even go about classifying people into Alpha or Beta when someone's behavior or social dominance depends on the situation, who they're around, and their state of mind? Is an Alpha still Alpha when his boss is reaming him out, or when he's visiting his grandma? Is a Beta a Beta even when he's keeping company with paraplegics, or hell, when he's just sitting at his kitchen table eating breakfast?

It's not that I think it's chauvinistic (how exactly?), I just think it's juvenile, simplistic, and lame. This is the kind of stupid topic you'd come across on collegehumor.com, I have no idea why this has been a major topic on litnet for about three days now.


I thought saying one thing and doing the opposite was a female speciality.

Gee, I can't fathom why the ladies never chased you. I mean, what with your charming and witty sense of humor, your kind and enlightened character, and your keen intelligence. It must be that they're all exceptionally shallow, or else there's some sort of sciencey-type evolutionary cause - for I simply can not think of a more obvious and likely explanation.

[Emil Miller]

Is the alpha male the antithesis of the metrosexual male?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=metrosexual

Interesting off-shoot from the attraction thread.

Absolutely hilarious! Looking randomly through the descriptions I became momentarily alarmed at reading this: ' You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first.'

But gave a sigh of relief on reading :'You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights.'

And further reassured by: 'You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.'

[YesNo]

Hi YesNo that is one frame of mind I cannot get into not matter how much I try to get some sense out of this 'risk' business.
Someone tried once to explain it to me, the thrill behind the concept of wanting to do something in hiddance but then at the same time wanting to be caught. It is totally lost on me. It is one hell of a complicated state of mind if you do not mind me saying. It defeats the whole idea of having sex for the pleasure of sex and makes sex sound like a cheap scapegoat for the sake of a mental thrill which is totally not without consequences.

It puzzles me also. You would think men would have better things to do.

I suspect actually having someone's husband scare the alpha male wannabe enough so that he would go into hiding by living with his parents, as Emil Miller recounts, may not be how he hoped the male-over-male dominance would have worked out. In that case, I would have to think the husband reasserted his dominance and became the alpha male.

But this makes me realize that it is the other men, whether husband, boyfriend or even male acquaintances of the woman, who are most important in the alpha male's perspective. The woman is only secondary, though enjoyable, entertainment. She is like the tree the dog pisses on to mark his territory for the other dogs. It is the others dogs, not the tree, that matters to the alpha male wannabe.

As you mention it takes two to tangle. I wonder what must be going on in the woman's mind, especially if she tells her husband what the alpha male did to her. I guess she likes to see her husband feel obligated to chase the wannabe around.

[cacian]

It puzzles me also. You would think men would have better things to do.

I suspect actually having someone's husband scare the alpha male wannabe enough so that he would go into hiding by living with his parents, as Emil Miller recounts, may not be how he hoped the male-over-male dominance would have worked out. In that case, I would have to think the husband reasserted his dominance and became the alpha male.

But this makes me realize that it is the other men, whether husband, boyfriend or even male acquaintances of the woman, who are most important in the alpha male's perspective. The woman is only secondary, though enjoyable, entertainment. She is like the tree the dog pisses on to mark his territory for the other dogs. It is the others dogs, not the tree, that matters to the alpha male wannabe.

Well yes I agree you would think men have better stuff to do and think about but then it is tricky when the whole world package is full of tempting images, newspapers with scandals headlines films that thrive on affairs and books written especially for those who fancy fantasy thrills and to top it up we get the internet to make it even better.
I feel almost sorry for anyone trying to be a man and be themselves at the same time. It is constant internal was between reality and desires.



As you mention it takes two to tangle. I wonder what must be going on in the woman's mind, especially if she tells her husband what the alpha male did to her. I guess she likes to see her husband feel obligated to chase the wannabe around.
Not much at this rate LOL !!
Sorry I do not mean to say that but I think one thing has to be said is that it is easy to fall in that trap, men or women, and some do do it because of this so called buzz.
I do not claim to understand it because mine is just a bottle of champagne few friends to chat to and I am happy. Some fortunately or unfortunately are higher maintanance so they go chose to go the racier way if you like.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Gee, I can't fathom why the ladies never chased you. I mean, what with your charming and witty sense of humor, your kind and enlightened character, and your keen intelligence. It must be that they're all exceptionally shallow, or else there's some sort of sciencey-type evolutionary cause - for I simply can not think of a more obvious and likely explanation.

No. All the ladies love The Neely!!!:ladysman:

HOT property.:yesnod:

[cacian]

No. All the ladies love The Neely!!!:ladysman:

HOT property.:yesnod:

I am sorry I thought Neely was a female's name and so I thought you were a female oh well haha:p

[LitNetIsGreat]

I am sorry I thought Neely was a female's name and so I thought you were a female oh well haha:p

:lol:What??? You thought I was a woman?? Oh dear me! Let me assure you now that is not the case.

[Emil Miller]

It puzzles me also. You would think men would have better things to do.

I suspect actually having someone's husband scare the alpha male wannabe enough so that he would go into hiding by living with his parents, as Emil Miller recounts, may not be how he hoped the male-over-male dominance would have worked out. In that case, I would have to think the husband reasserted his dominance and became the alpha male.

As you mention it takes two to tangle. I wonder what must be going on in the woman's mind, especially if she tells her husband what the alpha male did to her. I guess she likes to see her husband feel obligated to chase the wannabe around.

Well the man in question was certainly not an Alpha male according to this thread. In fact he was a Cambridge graduate who had difficulty getting hold of women as, unlike Neely, he looked the opposite to Brad Pitt and was always on the lookout for, to use a vulgar expression, 'a loose bit of tackle.'
He related how on one occasion he had to quickly exit a woman's bedroom in the dark because the husband came home, and when he got back to his flat he found that he'd put on the woman's panties by mistake.

[Scheherazade]

I am sorry I thought Neely was a female's name and so I thought you were a female oh well haha:pWhatever might have made you think so, Cacian?

Could it be his tendency "say one thing and do the opposite"?

[cacian]

:lol:What??? You thought I was a woman?? Oh dear me! Let me assure you now that is not the case.

LOL I am so sorry :p I often get lots of member's here confused over who is who because it is sometimes not clear :p


Whatever might have made you think so, Cacian?

Could it be his tendency "say one thing and do the opposite"?

Hmmm that could well be it actually :D

[Paulclem]

:lol:What??? You thought I was a woman?? Oh dear me! Let me assure you now that is not the case.

Well your avatar does make it look as though "you" have a kind of baldy bob. It's an easy mistake to make, though Cacian has obviously never read your eulogies of Belgian beer.

What will the blokes say in the cold ale thread? Should we call you Mrs Neely now:D?

[LitNetIsGreat]

Well your avatar does make it look as though "you" have a kind of baldy bob. It's an easy mistake to make, though Cacian has obviously never read your eulogies of Belgian beer.

What will the blokes say in the cold ale thread? Should we call you Mrs Neely now:D?

'Baldy bob?' that's even worse - bring back Cacian! This is especially so as I think my avatar actually looks like me quite a lot - that is violently attractive and jaw-droppingly handsome. I am less grey though...

Yes Cacian, and everyone really, needs to read about Belgian beer. This is because Belgian beer really is the pinnacle of beer, but yes I suppose the pure maleness must shine through there as well.

She could also be directed to any one of my very exclusive, highly male postings or should join the waiting list in the Neely fan club - (see Scher, club secretary for further details.):)

[JuniperWoolf]

No. All the ladies love The Neely!!!:ladysman:

HOT property.:yesnod:

So you're an "alpha male?" I guess that means that any validity the term hight have carried is completely debunked, and this stupid topic is finally over. That's good.

[Scheherazade]

(see Scher, club secretary for further details.):)What's all this violence? Sheesh.

No need to club any secretaries... Just see me. I think we have all the details listed under 'Imaginary Forum Clubs' section.

[Neo_Sephiroth]

She could also be directed to any one of my very exclusive, highly male postings or should join the waiting list in the Neely fan club - (see Scher, club secretary for further details.):)

:lol:


So you're an "alpha male?" I guess that means that any validity the term hight have carried is completely debunked, and this stupid topic is finally over. That's good.

:rofl::rofl:



No need to club any secretaries... Just see me. I think we have all the details listed under 'Imaginary Forum Clubs' section.

:smilielol5:

I just love the ladies of this forum. They're so...Alpha.

[LitNetIsGreat]

So you're an "alpha male?" I guess that means that any validity the term hight have carried is completely debunked, and this stupid topic is finally over. That's good.

No, no I’m not an alpha male. I have been ‘beaten’ several times by the ‘treat ‘em mean; keep ‘em keen’ philosophy of theirs, but despite of this I’ve done OK.

I find that I get the most attention either when I am out playing tennis (or in tennis gear) or if I’m out smartly dressed. Fish slime-stained trousers or knocking about gear doesn’t have the same effect. I’m not that bothered either way though being married and all. Actually, and somewhat ironically, I think the lack of interest leads women on even more.



What's all this violence? Sheesh.

No need to club any secretaries... Just see me. I think we have all the details listed under 'Imaginary Forum Clubs' section.

We desperately need an 'Imaginary Forum Clubs' section.



I just love the ladies of this forum. They're so...Alpha.

Ha, ha...be careful!!

[YesNo]

He related how on one occasion he had to quickly exit a woman's bedroom in the dark because the husband came home, and when he got back to his flat he found that he'd put on the woman's panties by mistake.
:D

I thought those Cambridge grads were supposed to have some brains.

I can see the husband coming home hoping to get lucky. He's pleased to find his wife already naked in bed. He's puzzled to find the window open. When he picks up the over sized male underwear still lying on the floor his wife starts feeding him a story along with the name of the alpha male wannabe. The husband searches for the guy and finds address, photos and confirms underwear size. The wife texts the wannabe telling him her husband is about to do something rash. The wannabe's back living with his parents.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

No, no I’m not an alpha male. I have been ‘beaten’ several times by the ‘treat ‘em mean; keep ‘em keen’ philosophy of theirs, but despite of this I’ve done OK.

I find that I get the most attention either when I am out playing tennis (or in tennis gear) or if I’m out smartly dressed. Fish slime-stained trousers or knocking about gear doesn’t have the same effect. I’m not that bothered either way though being married and all. Actually, and somewhat ironically, I think the lack of interest leads women on even more.
...

haha..brilliant.

Recently I disccovered that I'm an Alfalfa male, the characteristics of which are found somewhere between the Alpha and Beta as exemplified in the following videos:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuOsB4psC9E


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPMFfTrb6ho

.

[Emil Miller]

:D

I thought those Cambridge grads were supposed to have some brains.

I can see the husband coming home hoping to get lucky. He's pleased to find his wife already naked in bed. He's puzzled to find the window open. When he picks up the over sized male underwear still lying on the floor his wife starts feeding him a story along with the name of the alpha male wannabe. The husband searches for the guy and finds address, photos and confirms underwear size. The wife texts the wannabe telling him her husband is about to do something rash. The wannabe's back living with his parents.

Well he admitted that he didn't get a very good degree.
In the first account, he was already known to the husband as they used to meet in various pubs in town. It was only when he went into a one of the pubs and the barman told him that the husband had come in carrying a hatchet in the hope of finding him there that he decided to leave town.
The second instance he related was seperate from the first. On that ocassion, he actually escaped via a drainpipe outside the woman's bedroom.
The things men will do for a bit of nooky!

[JuniperWoolf]

i just love the ladies of this forum. They're so...alpha.

Hah! ;)

[Darcy88]

I think the great question surrounding relationships is whether two type-As can be happy together or whether it is preferable for a type A to pair up with a type B. I had two relationships in the past six months, one with a type A, the other with a type B. I really don't think it matters. I preferred the type A. I am still in love with the type A. Two type As together makes for fireworks, but the intensity of the feelings is worth it. I'd never had a relationship with someone who challenged me as much as she. She was my intellectual equal, if not superior, a veritable genius. She was physically imposing both in terms of beauty and because of the fact that she was simply a tough young woman who practiced martial arts. So I don't think opposites attract. I think men and women are complimentary already in the way they are each made by evolution and God. What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on. Thus turns the wheel of Ixion.

[YesNo]

What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on.

Is Type A (Alpha Male/Female) and Type B (Beta Male/Female)?

I think you are right that one should be prepared to work one's butt off in a relationship, but I don't think failure is as disastrous as you portray it. One person I admire who offers personal advice is Laura Day. She says there are always second chances available and everything is "good luck". She might be a bit overly optimistic, but I think she's on to something.

[Alexander III]

I think the great question surrounding relationships is whether two type-As can be happy together or whether it is preferable for a type A to pair up with a type B. I had two relationships in the past six months, one with a type A, the other with a type B. I really don't think it matters. I preferred the type A. I am still in love with the type A. Two type As together makes for fireworks, but the intensity of the feelings is worth it. I'd never had a relationship with someone who challenged me as much as she. She was my intellectual equal, if not superior, a veritable genius. She was physically imposing both in terms of beauty and because of the fact that she was simply a tough young woman who practiced martial arts. So I don't think opposites attract. I think men and women are complimentary already in the way they are each made by evolution and God. What you want is someone who is interesting and loving and supportive. And then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who is your true love, you have to work your butt off to keep them. The passion is so intense it threatens to devour you both. And then if you lose them and it was real true love, the kind of love you hear in opera and epic poetry, then you destroy yourself with the knowledge that you failed, epically awfully failed and put out the fire which was your source of light, your sun. And then you find a way to distract yourself, go on. Thus turns the wheel of Ixion.


Type A's only make each other unhappy in the long run, especially if they have destructive personalities. But a type A in my experience, is unable to fall in love with a type B. They are the girls who you think you like but as soon as you sleep with them you become unbearably repulsed by them and wish that they had never existed so that you would never have too look at them again. I think the starting point for love is always a perception of equality. At least for me it is, I am the type of guy who when he meet a girl who m akes me think "wow, she is not inferior me" that makes me start falling. By inferior I mean in beauty, in character and excitement for life. I have never cared for intelligence as it seems there are plenty of intelligent people and some are dull as drying dung and other are fascinating, so it seems better just to judge people as either dull or fascinating as that is more to the purpose. I am one of those people whom, will think any person stupid no matter their intelligence if I find them boring. Also bravery, that is the biggest turn on for me, and likewise cowardice is the biggest turn off. And Alpha's may be called reckless and stupid, but never cowards. And call me atavistic, but courage is the chief virtue in my eyes, and the defining characteristic of alphas. because without courage one will never have the strength to pursue the virtues they hold sacred or the vices they most desire.

[TurquoiseSunset]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

^this.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Just a quick question for the fellas - do you think think a beta male can learn to become an alpha, or is it something innate?

[Darcy88]

Just a quick question for the fellas - do you think think a beta male can learn to become an alpha, or is it something innate?

A beta can become an alpha if he has the genes or the inner ability for it. Also, an alpha can be undermined and taken down to beta level by prolonged hostile circumstances. I go through periods of being alpha, and periods of being beta. Really people just irritate me and so I agree with what they say and I act below my level of competence and intelligence so as not to offend their egos. If I spoke my mind and said what was really on my mind I would be marked a nerd and be alienated from the herd. I either make myself the centre of attention or I hide in the background and say nothing. There is no middle way.

[LitNetIsGreat]

A beta can become an alpha if he has the genes or the inner ability for it. Also, an alpha can be undermined and taken down to beta level by prolonged hostile circumstances. I go through periods of being alpha, and periods of being beta. Really people just irritate me and so I agree with what they say and I act below my level of competence and intelligence so as not to offend their egos. If I spoke my mind and said what was really on my mind I would be marked a nerd and be alienated from the herd. I either make myself the centre of attention or I hide in the background and say nothing. There is no middle way.

Oh yes thanks that it interesting. I can relate to some of that.

[prendrelemick]

I'm NOT an Alpha male, but I used to pretend to be. I could imitate one for about 10 mins,
then I'd go and hide in the toilets to recoup!

My heart wasn't in it.

[Emil Miller]

Could this be what an Alpha male is like?

http://youtu.be/k4R5wZs8cxI

Or perhaps this?

http://youtu.be/-0MkIPGKdAk

[YesNo]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

[Darcy88]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

You seem somewhat alpha on here. You put your opinions forward with strength and defend them vigorously. I think what is being forgotten in this discussion is that alpha males can be as much brain as brawn. Sophistication is a sign of alpha male dominance.

Lord Henry in Picture of Dorian Grey was uber-alpha. He just owned people with his wit and sophistication.


Type A's only make each other unhappy in the long run, especially if they have destructive personalities. But a type A in my experience, is unable to fall in love with a type B. They are the girls who you think you like but as soon as you sleep with them you become unbearably repulsed by them and wish that they had never existed so that you would never have too look at them again. I think the starting point for love is always a perception of equality. At least for me it is, I am the type of guy who when he meet a girl who m akes me think "wow, she is not inferior me" that makes me start falling. By inferior I mean in beauty, in character and excitement for life. I have never cared for intelligence as it seems there are plenty of intelligent people and some are dull as drying dung and other are fascinating, so it seems better just to judge people as either dull or fascinating as that is more to the purpose. I am one of those people whom, will think any person stupid no matter their intelligence if I find them boring. Also bravery, that is the biggest turn on for me, and likewise cowardice is the biggest turn off. And Alpha's may be called reckless and stupid, but never cowards. And call me atavistic, but courage is the chief virtue in my eyes, and the defining characteristic of alphas. because without courage one will never have the strength to pursue the virtues they hold sacred or the vices they most desire.

This is all true. Type B's look intriguing from afar but when you get up close to them they fall short of your hopes. Equality is the principal prerequisite for fiery super-passionate love. I am so hung up on my feelings for one girl in particular precisely because she was my intellectual and physical and moral equal. And she had courage. It was a constant contest between who had more guts, more fire. We were like two wolves side-by-side pulling the sled of our relationship, each trying to out-pace the other. With a beta I am a wolf rubbing up against a sheep. The sheep is pretty and gentle but it cannot satisfy my wolfish predilection for struggle and dominance. Its too easy to dominate a type b. There is no challenge in loving a weak person. They are too easy to own. You own them and then all struggle is that of you taking on the world and other people. By being with a really strong person you have the benefit of having a competitor by your side at all times. We were like two olympians at sport or two gods at strife.

In Ovid there are stories where two gods come together and stories where a god hooks up with a mere mortal. The former are always more interesting. With an alpha I am Mars, she venus. With a beta I am mars and she is just some farm-girl. Better the storm and strife of a love more divine than the ease and predictability of a master-slave romance.

[cacian]

You seem somewhat alpha on here. You put your opinions forward with strength and defend them vigorously. I think what is being forgotten in this discussion is that alpha males can be as much brain and brawn. Sophistication is a sign of alpha male dominance.

Lord Henry in Picture of Dorian Grey was uber-alpha. He just owned people with his wit and sophistication.

Interesing about Lord Henry do you associate hedonist ideology and self fulfilement at all cost a trait of class and sophistication?

[Emil Miller]

I'd vote for James Cagney as an alpha male. One can see how the ladies loved him.

In my definition of an alpha male, one would have to be young and stupid. As far as trying to transform myself from whatever male into alpha male, I can still do stupid, but never young again.

However, I might be able to do Alfalfa male as Gilliatt Gurgle suggests as an alternative.

If Cagney was an Alpha male, this guy was a triple Alpha male.

http://youtu.be/eDF3lPt42WE

[LitNetIsGreat]

If Cagney was an Alpha male, this guy was a triple Alpha male.

http://youtu.be/eDF3lPt42WE

Definite alpha male there and no mistake. Seems he's got three on the go and treating them all like crap and they love it.