mike southard
07-17-2012, 12:29 PM
Southard 1
Father’s Mistake
This story starts in the little town of New London Ca. Where a little boy by the name of James begins, and the life lessons he learns would scar his soul forever. Back then James was three years old. His mother was a woman on welfare trying to get by the best way she could. He was six month old when his father would take off, and not be heard from for several years. When the day would come for him to be re-introduced to him, he was scared. James had no idea who this man was, or why his mother would just drop him off there. He asked “why mommy, why do I have to stay here?” She just said this is your dad, and you need to get to know him, maybe you’ll like it and want to stay. If only James had known what that one sentence would mean in the future. So he stayed with him. James felt like a fish out of water. All he wanted to do was go home, but there was no way. After a couple of hours he got this idea in his head “if I act like a spoiled little brat, maybe he would not want me there”. He was wrong. After a couple more hours of crying like a baby he finally called her and had her come and picks him up. What a mistake this would be. “Mother, he shouted as she drove into the yard, and he ran up to her. She and his father had a short conversation and he came to say good-bye. James didn’t even acknowledge him thinking that his mother would make him stay. As soon as they drove off she asked what the problem was. All James could say was I missed you and wanted to come home. She simply responded by pulling over looking soulfully into his eyes saying James I love you, and then she proceeded to beat this little boy like a child should never be beat. You have no idea what you have done have you! No mom is all he could say. It was at this time in James’s mind he would start to realize that life is not all roses. In fact it is quite the opposite. He knew somehow that his life would be forever changed.
The new man in his mother’s life [Ernie] was a man of no respect. He gave none but expected but obedience and got it by any means. He was the type of man that would beat you senseless at the drop of a hat, for no other reason than it felt good to him. And not fill an ounce of remorse. James grew to hate him more than anything in this world. He would pray for his death on a daily basis, and Ernie knew this. On one occasion he felt the punching and kicking he delivered to James on a daily basis was no longer good enough. So he told his mother to take him out to the car and drive James out to the country. “For what,” she replied? Just do it you stupid ***** unless you want to take his place and join him. James’s mother did what she was told, she was that dutiful woman that she was raised to be. Knowing what was in store for her son, she thought this was the best way to teach James to do what was asked of him, you know to teach him a lesson, a lesson he would never forget. Well she was right. So she did what Ernie demanded of her keeping her mouth shut and never looking back once at her son. Once out of town far enough, she pulled over where Ernie was waiting. She acted as though she wasn’t expecting this, but somehow James knew otherwise. Even at such a young age, James knew his mother was nothing but a scared little *****. The next thing he knew was he was being grabbed by Ernie and forced out of the car. Ernie proceeded to tie James to the door of the car, and his mother who as always did nothing to help. She was told to take off. James started begging please stop, OH GOD mother stop please! Crying and hollering so load that he could swear even the dead could hear him. But to no avail no one did. After what seemed like an eternity she stopped. When she came to get him free, she told James to never tell anyone. This James believes was the defining moment in his life. The one thing that would for years to come would start to make him the evil, non-caring bastard he would later become.
Not too long after this incident, his mother would finally leave Ernie and thus have to deal with the trouble of doing so. She would have others in her life that would try to be the father figure in James life. Needless to say it was a worthless indever. These so called father figures were nothing but *******s who wanted nothing else but what they could get from his mother. On one particular evening they went to the local drive in movies to watch this really big movie. James had heard about it for months and couldn’t wait to see it. His mother did not want to go but her newest boyfriend talked her into going. (This would turn out to be the biggest mistake in this man’s short life.) When they got home, they discovered that everything in their house was gone. Whoever took it didn’t leave a thing. His mother’s boyfriend said don’t worry I’ll find out who did it and get it back, one way or another. Little did they know at the time he was the one who arranged it to happen. Ernie found out and took things into his own hands, (for all of his faults he did think he loved James’s mother) wrong thing for the thieves, and gotten everything back for them. James asked did you report it to the police, all he said was don’t worry about it, and you won’t ever have to worry about them again. It was later that James would learn what had really happened. By doing this he had worked his way back into their lives and after sometime James overheard what Ernie told his mother what he had done to the guys that stole their things. He told her that he took them out to a field and shot them. Even going so far as to tell her how it was done. He told James’s mother that at first they begged like little *****es and cried for their mothers. Ernie told Joann, James mother that each one gave the barrel of the gun a lonesome salute. Which means he stuck the barrel down their throats and pulled the trigger, the visulization of the top of their heads blowing off was rather exciting to James? What does this mean he does not know yet? Nevertheless, one day he will. You see James lived way out in the country back then, and a person could disappear rather easily and no one would ever find them. As far as James knew no one ever did. Well for the next few years things were back to how they used to be, the beatings and the fighting. James’s mother was too scared to leave, you see for years Ernie would beat the crap out of her before taking it out on James. And for all she knew he would do the same thing to them. From this point in James’s life he would start to garnish a wanting of the unwanted and the disturbed. Never knowing were these feeling was coming from. It would an incident in Fresno Ca. to start his awakening.
By now the hatred James felt for people like this and others like thieves, and liars was so intense that no matter how good a person was or could have ever been, he never gave them their fair shake. James was branded with hatred and discontent towards anyone who ever he presumed to have ill will towards him from that time on. By the time he was ten they were living in Fresno Ca. they were the only white family in the neighborhood. At this time in James’s life he had only lived around white people and had only seen blacks and Mexicans on television and at that time there really weren’t much of them to see on the television. When it came to what he thought he knew was drawn by what he saw on Sanford and Son, and Chico and the Man. This was the early seventies and the battle of the races was in full effect. It didn’t take long for James to start getting into trouble, the kind of trouble that kept him bruised up and always looking for the next **** storm. The one thing James guessed he should be grateful for back then was they still believed in fist fights. It was a rare occasion that somebody would break out a knife, not that this didn’t happen. James saw this too on a regular basis. It just seems that if you were willing to fight with just fist, then that’s how it stayed even if one of the individuals was losing. Needless to say this was a great learning experience for him. Unlike earlier in his life, he finally learned to defend himself. The way men should, not little boys, although that’s not how James viewed himself. We only lived in Fresno for a few years, but as I mentioned they were some of the best years James could have ever had. You see in Fresno Ernie pissed off the wrong Mexicans and paid with his life. James could not be happier. Ernie is murdered and James fills no remorse, in fact the only thing James felt was satisfaction. At Ernie’s funeral James literally danced on his grave, yelling at the top of his lungs, “who’s the ***** now *******, who’s the ***** now.” It was at this time James’s mother decided it would be best to move once more. However, where, and too bad for whomever his mother was moving them to next...
The year 1979 and life was about to get better for him and not the town. What a hell hole she had moved them too. This little hole in the wall of a town called Moron Ca... By the time James got to Lincoln which is the local junior high school where he had developed a reputation of a person you did not want to mess with. Life was great for him, or so he thought. One day in school James was confronted by one of his classmates, Tommy. They were in woodshop when he approached James for some reason thinking, for whatever reason that he could talk **** and James would do nothing about it. How wrong he was. James hit him right across the melon so hard it split his skull right open. You know, right under the pupil and cheek bone. Well it split open so bad that when the school officials arrived he was telling them he hit him with a rawhide mallet. James called him a liar, but they didn’t believe him, they replied this kind of damage could only happen with some kind of weapon. Well they were sort of right James does consider his hands a potential lethal weapon. Well since they didn’t believe him he picked up the mallet and struck him over the head. Every person that tried to stop him got it as well. This would be the reason for James’s first sentence in juvenile hall. Was it his last, hell no! When James first got out he went looking for those kids but the security at the school knew what he was up too. They called him into their office to talk to him about what they thought was going on. James sat there listening to what they were saying but not paying much attention. When all of a sudden who decides to walk by laughing and thinking they were king ****’s, the boys who think they were the reason for him getting arrested. So what does him do, he jumps up and starts chasing them down the halls. To this day he has never seen four boys so scared of just one little boy. He finally got ahold of one and proceeded to beat the living crap out of him. One of his buddies thought he would jump in, but to no avail. Needless to say his *** was headed back to jail. He had only been out one day and now he’s headed back. This would turn out to be a consistent trend in James’s life for the next few years. By the time he was twelve he developed a taste for stealing cars. It didn’t take to long for James to find out he could make money from this, and boy did he. His thought process was, if you’re thirteen and always having five to six hundred in your pocket, you’re the king of your own world. For the next few years this is all he did. His mother knew about it, but she didn’t care as long as she got hers. He would spend time in jail off and on till the time he was eighteen. James still remembers the first time he was sent to CYA, The California Youth Authority. He was 13 and always told that in there, he should walk up to the biggest person there. He did and punched him right in the jaw. Wrong thing to do, this huge black man began to beat the living **** out of him. After it was all over he simply said to James, I hope you are happy with what you have done. He began to let James know that by doing what he has done he would get the respect he was looking for but it would come at a price. For the next nine months James would have to continuously have to defend what he had fought so hard for. And this would come at a heavy price. The battles he would fight in jail would wind up suiting him well in the future. One being never gives an inch and always gets what you want no matter the price. By the time he was eighteen he finally started thinking about what kind of price he had paid for little things in his life and wondered if he was going down the wrong road. But by this time it was too late, he was a convicted felon. Maybe only as a minor but it still would come to haunt him. When James was twenty he decided he wanted to join the Army. This would be harder than he thought. When he talked to his recruiter he told him that it would take a high ranking officer’s approval. This as it would turn out would take six months. After six months they finally found a three star that was willing to take a chance and signed off on him. This was something he would never forget. Once he was in basic training, James did something that not only looked bad on him but the General as well. He wanted to get off the base so bad he talked six of his buddies to go with him. They thought James wanted to show them a good time, on the contrary, James needed scape goats. They went into town and got some drinks and were having a great time when all of a sudden James comes face to face with his Sgt. Major. He didn’t say a word, but he knew he had him by his short hairs. The next morning before morning drills, he ordered those who were out having fun while the rest was on base doing what they were ordered to do, step forward. None of the other guys were caught, so James was thinking as long as no one stepped forward they wouldn’t get in trouble. But one by one they stepped forward. He would later ask, why did you step forward, they just replied, if you go down for it so do we, we were all there. This was when James finally learned the meaning of family and brotherhood. A lesson he would never forget. By the time he finished his training he was ready for what was transpiring overseas. At this time the first war in the gulf was about to kick off. They were told they were there for protection, this was true. But for oil, not necessarily people. The U.S kicked Saddam's *** rather quickly, and thought the job was done. Boy were they wrong. They were told to pack up and get ready to go home. Looking back maybe they should have stayed; if they would have Bush would not have had the excuse to go back in only 10 years. And for this his father’s mistake many soldiers would die and there was no real good reason. Before James had left for Germany, the station they would deploy to before heading home, James had witnessed some very odd things. Some things that in time would come to define who and what he would become even more so than what he had already witnessed and done himself in the not too distant past, what does the future hold for James now? While getting ready for the return back, most of Saddams solders would surrender without a fight. They were starving and had no ambition to fight. One day while taking in some of these, what we were calling refugees James witnessed something that should have been horrifying. But to him it was exhilarating. He had happened upon an Iraqi solider beheading another, just as he was about to be shot. This should have disgusted him but he stood there doing nothing. His moral compass was already off but however this certainly broke it. Along with the glowing camels and run dead soldiers that had been run over obviously from Iraq this gave him satisfaction, from this reason came his arousal from seeing death. He must find out what it felt like. He must kill for himself. When all the solders returned they were still itching for something to do, it was at this point in my life he started to drink heavily and do drugs. James became that trouble maker that I had worked so hard to get rid of, the beast was unleashed once again except this time he was trained in combat self- defense that was to be used in combat, not in civilian life. People were about to get hurt and get hurt bad. If only there was someone or something he could do to help with all this rage that was starting to boil back up. But there wasn’t, and all he could do was hold on for the ride. And what a ride it would turn out to be. And now all these innocent will know my name, learn to fear and respect what they had only heard about. For the time of the beast is here and he’s about to lift his raging head, fear is all they will know. All these years of abuse as a child and the neglect, racism, and torture was about to come full circle and
I honestly felt for those who would be caught in the way.
To tell this part of the story you would think I would jump right in and tell you all the juicy things your waiting for but that would be giving away too much too fast. I have to first tell you about the major factor that cracked this sad young man once and for good. You would think that what he had already been through would be enough for anyone person to handle, but there is one part of the story I waited till now to tell because otherwise it would have been given away too soon and we couldn’t have that now could we. The one deciding factor that I left out was what happened while James was overseas. You see he may have never have done anything in Kuwait, however when he was on his way back he felt so much frustration from not being able to fight, that while on leave in Germany he took his anger out on the German public. One night while in town he came across a drunken man and began harassing him over what had happened during WW2, although this had nothing to do with him or the man he was talking to, but that didn’t matter. James got really pissed and took out his knife and shoved it through the man’s skull. James had finally done what he thought he needed to do in order to see if this was what he had been craving for, and it was. From then on he was the cracked man he would always be. So you can see why I waited to tell this part. Any earlier would have given too much away. However, wait what could be worse than what he had already done, we will let us find out together.
The year 1992, and the L.A riots had just broken out. James was in the Guard at this time and the Company had just been put on alert because they might be called to respond. This had James itching to go. A day later, the orders came down; we were on our way to L.A to stop the rioting and looting. For James it was the action he never got to see in the Gulf War. Once we arrived, we were instructed to stand our ground and not fire upon civilians unless directly fired upon with malice. Well James had intended to hold his orders, until the second night. This is the night that the rioters decided to test our reserve and fire upon us. Now not all the units were fired upon just one, but this was all the reason he needed to get his so-called revenge. He started firing on rioters blindly not caring who or what he hit, come the next morning finding out that three civilians were dead, shot by M16 rounds, good thing they couldn’t trace the shells back then. Well they could they just chose not to. To this day he doesn’t know if it was his rounds that did the killing or one of the three others who had fired. But he had a good inkling that at least one of the deaths could be attributed to him. And this made him feel very vigorous, and free. At this time he still doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. How wrong can one person be, and how blind can others be not to notice what is going on right in front of them. If only these people could know what monster was in their midst. Looking back James wonders if these people chose not to look or even care because it would mean admitting something they had done. There was a lot of theory’s going around already about the Military choosing to a blind eye to what was going on in the ranks at this time. James didn’t care all he knew was that he now had the training to do what he had always wanted to. Now in his mind people were going to pay for everything that had happened to him whether they had anything to do with it or nor. James no longer cared his sense of right and wrong was skewed so bad even if he gave a **** what was right he probably still would not give a crap. James would start looking for trouble, and hoping he would find it. And more often than not he would. You see he has the perfect job, he drives truck over the road and could be in any state within a days’ time. The perfect tool for the devastation he wanted to bring upon the country. In James’s mind he didn’t get caught for Germany, or the L.A riots incident so he had a free pass for whatever carnage he wants to bring. He had seen enough television shows to know enough about forensics, and investigations. He has an uncle who used to be a chief of police in the past, and gave it up because he was the only straight arrow. He has a cousin who is a swat officer in a Ca. town, James thinks he has it all figured out. Will he get away with it or not. Will this future psychopath and severally cracked individual rage across the country untouched, or will his own ignorance bring him down. Only time will tell.
Word Count: 4,181
Written by Mike Southard
Father’s Mistake
This story starts in the little town of New London Ca. Where a little boy by the name of James begins, and the life lessons he learns would scar his soul forever. Back then James was three years old. His mother was a woman on welfare trying to get by the best way she could. He was six month old when his father would take off, and not be heard from for several years. When the day would come for him to be re-introduced to him, he was scared. James had no idea who this man was, or why his mother would just drop him off there. He asked “why mommy, why do I have to stay here?” She just said this is your dad, and you need to get to know him, maybe you’ll like it and want to stay. If only James had known what that one sentence would mean in the future. So he stayed with him. James felt like a fish out of water. All he wanted to do was go home, but there was no way. After a couple of hours he got this idea in his head “if I act like a spoiled little brat, maybe he would not want me there”. He was wrong. After a couple more hours of crying like a baby he finally called her and had her come and picks him up. What a mistake this would be. “Mother, he shouted as she drove into the yard, and he ran up to her. She and his father had a short conversation and he came to say good-bye. James didn’t even acknowledge him thinking that his mother would make him stay. As soon as they drove off she asked what the problem was. All James could say was I missed you and wanted to come home. She simply responded by pulling over looking soulfully into his eyes saying James I love you, and then she proceeded to beat this little boy like a child should never be beat. You have no idea what you have done have you! No mom is all he could say. It was at this time in James’s mind he would start to realize that life is not all roses. In fact it is quite the opposite. He knew somehow that his life would be forever changed.
The new man in his mother’s life [Ernie] was a man of no respect. He gave none but expected but obedience and got it by any means. He was the type of man that would beat you senseless at the drop of a hat, for no other reason than it felt good to him. And not fill an ounce of remorse. James grew to hate him more than anything in this world. He would pray for his death on a daily basis, and Ernie knew this. On one occasion he felt the punching and kicking he delivered to James on a daily basis was no longer good enough. So he told his mother to take him out to the car and drive James out to the country. “For what,” she replied? Just do it you stupid ***** unless you want to take his place and join him. James’s mother did what she was told, she was that dutiful woman that she was raised to be. Knowing what was in store for her son, she thought this was the best way to teach James to do what was asked of him, you know to teach him a lesson, a lesson he would never forget. Well she was right. So she did what Ernie demanded of her keeping her mouth shut and never looking back once at her son. Once out of town far enough, she pulled over where Ernie was waiting. She acted as though she wasn’t expecting this, but somehow James knew otherwise. Even at such a young age, James knew his mother was nothing but a scared little *****. The next thing he knew was he was being grabbed by Ernie and forced out of the car. Ernie proceeded to tie James to the door of the car, and his mother who as always did nothing to help. She was told to take off. James started begging please stop, OH GOD mother stop please! Crying and hollering so load that he could swear even the dead could hear him. But to no avail no one did. After what seemed like an eternity she stopped. When she came to get him free, she told James to never tell anyone. This James believes was the defining moment in his life. The one thing that would for years to come would start to make him the evil, non-caring bastard he would later become.
Not too long after this incident, his mother would finally leave Ernie and thus have to deal with the trouble of doing so. She would have others in her life that would try to be the father figure in James life. Needless to say it was a worthless indever. These so called father figures were nothing but *******s who wanted nothing else but what they could get from his mother. On one particular evening they went to the local drive in movies to watch this really big movie. James had heard about it for months and couldn’t wait to see it. His mother did not want to go but her newest boyfriend talked her into going. (This would turn out to be the biggest mistake in this man’s short life.) When they got home, they discovered that everything in their house was gone. Whoever took it didn’t leave a thing. His mother’s boyfriend said don’t worry I’ll find out who did it and get it back, one way or another. Little did they know at the time he was the one who arranged it to happen. Ernie found out and took things into his own hands, (for all of his faults he did think he loved James’s mother) wrong thing for the thieves, and gotten everything back for them. James asked did you report it to the police, all he said was don’t worry about it, and you won’t ever have to worry about them again. It was later that James would learn what had really happened. By doing this he had worked his way back into their lives and after sometime James overheard what Ernie told his mother what he had done to the guys that stole their things. He told her that he took them out to a field and shot them. Even going so far as to tell her how it was done. He told James’s mother that at first they begged like little *****es and cried for their mothers. Ernie told Joann, James mother that each one gave the barrel of the gun a lonesome salute. Which means he stuck the barrel down their throats and pulled the trigger, the visulization of the top of their heads blowing off was rather exciting to James? What does this mean he does not know yet? Nevertheless, one day he will. You see James lived way out in the country back then, and a person could disappear rather easily and no one would ever find them. As far as James knew no one ever did. Well for the next few years things were back to how they used to be, the beatings and the fighting. James’s mother was too scared to leave, you see for years Ernie would beat the crap out of her before taking it out on James. And for all she knew he would do the same thing to them. From this point in James’s life he would start to garnish a wanting of the unwanted and the disturbed. Never knowing were these feeling was coming from. It would an incident in Fresno Ca. to start his awakening.
By now the hatred James felt for people like this and others like thieves, and liars was so intense that no matter how good a person was or could have ever been, he never gave them their fair shake. James was branded with hatred and discontent towards anyone who ever he presumed to have ill will towards him from that time on. By the time he was ten they were living in Fresno Ca. they were the only white family in the neighborhood. At this time in James’s life he had only lived around white people and had only seen blacks and Mexicans on television and at that time there really weren’t much of them to see on the television. When it came to what he thought he knew was drawn by what he saw on Sanford and Son, and Chico and the Man. This was the early seventies and the battle of the races was in full effect. It didn’t take long for James to start getting into trouble, the kind of trouble that kept him bruised up and always looking for the next **** storm. The one thing James guessed he should be grateful for back then was they still believed in fist fights. It was a rare occasion that somebody would break out a knife, not that this didn’t happen. James saw this too on a regular basis. It just seems that if you were willing to fight with just fist, then that’s how it stayed even if one of the individuals was losing. Needless to say this was a great learning experience for him. Unlike earlier in his life, he finally learned to defend himself. The way men should, not little boys, although that’s not how James viewed himself. We only lived in Fresno for a few years, but as I mentioned they were some of the best years James could have ever had. You see in Fresno Ernie pissed off the wrong Mexicans and paid with his life. James could not be happier. Ernie is murdered and James fills no remorse, in fact the only thing James felt was satisfaction. At Ernie’s funeral James literally danced on his grave, yelling at the top of his lungs, “who’s the ***** now *******, who’s the ***** now.” It was at this time James’s mother decided it would be best to move once more. However, where, and too bad for whomever his mother was moving them to next...
The year 1979 and life was about to get better for him and not the town. What a hell hole she had moved them too. This little hole in the wall of a town called Moron Ca... By the time James got to Lincoln which is the local junior high school where he had developed a reputation of a person you did not want to mess with. Life was great for him, or so he thought. One day in school James was confronted by one of his classmates, Tommy. They were in woodshop when he approached James for some reason thinking, for whatever reason that he could talk **** and James would do nothing about it. How wrong he was. James hit him right across the melon so hard it split his skull right open. You know, right under the pupil and cheek bone. Well it split open so bad that when the school officials arrived he was telling them he hit him with a rawhide mallet. James called him a liar, but they didn’t believe him, they replied this kind of damage could only happen with some kind of weapon. Well they were sort of right James does consider his hands a potential lethal weapon. Well since they didn’t believe him he picked up the mallet and struck him over the head. Every person that tried to stop him got it as well. This would be the reason for James’s first sentence in juvenile hall. Was it his last, hell no! When James first got out he went looking for those kids but the security at the school knew what he was up too. They called him into their office to talk to him about what they thought was going on. James sat there listening to what they were saying but not paying much attention. When all of a sudden who decides to walk by laughing and thinking they were king ****’s, the boys who think they were the reason for him getting arrested. So what does him do, he jumps up and starts chasing them down the halls. To this day he has never seen four boys so scared of just one little boy. He finally got ahold of one and proceeded to beat the living crap out of him. One of his buddies thought he would jump in, but to no avail. Needless to say his *** was headed back to jail. He had only been out one day and now he’s headed back. This would turn out to be a consistent trend in James’s life for the next few years. By the time he was twelve he developed a taste for stealing cars. It didn’t take to long for James to find out he could make money from this, and boy did he. His thought process was, if you’re thirteen and always having five to six hundred in your pocket, you’re the king of your own world. For the next few years this is all he did. His mother knew about it, but she didn’t care as long as she got hers. He would spend time in jail off and on till the time he was eighteen. James still remembers the first time he was sent to CYA, The California Youth Authority. He was 13 and always told that in there, he should walk up to the biggest person there. He did and punched him right in the jaw. Wrong thing to do, this huge black man began to beat the living **** out of him. After it was all over he simply said to James, I hope you are happy with what you have done. He began to let James know that by doing what he has done he would get the respect he was looking for but it would come at a price. For the next nine months James would have to continuously have to defend what he had fought so hard for. And this would come at a heavy price. The battles he would fight in jail would wind up suiting him well in the future. One being never gives an inch and always gets what you want no matter the price. By the time he was eighteen he finally started thinking about what kind of price he had paid for little things in his life and wondered if he was going down the wrong road. But by this time it was too late, he was a convicted felon. Maybe only as a minor but it still would come to haunt him. When James was twenty he decided he wanted to join the Army. This would be harder than he thought. When he talked to his recruiter he told him that it would take a high ranking officer’s approval. This as it would turn out would take six months. After six months they finally found a three star that was willing to take a chance and signed off on him. This was something he would never forget. Once he was in basic training, James did something that not only looked bad on him but the General as well. He wanted to get off the base so bad he talked six of his buddies to go with him. They thought James wanted to show them a good time, on the contrary, James needed scape goats. They went into town and got some drinks and were having a great time when all of a sudden James comes face to face with his Sgt. Major. He didn’t say a word, but he knew he had him by his short hairs. The next morning before morning drills, he ordered those who were out having fun while the rest was on base doing what they were ordered to do, step forward. None of the other guys were caught, so James was thinking as long as no one stepped forward they wouldn’t get in trouble. But one by one they stepped forward. He would later ask, why did you step forward, they just replied, if you go down for it so do we, we were all there. This was when James finally learned the meaning of family and brotherhood. A lesson he would never forget. By the time he finished his training he was ready for what was transpiring overseas. At this time the first war in the gulf was about to kick off. They were told they were there for protection, this was true. But for oil, not necessarily people. The U.S kicked Saddam's *** rather quickly, and thought the job was done. Boy were they wrong. They were told to pack up and get ready to go home. Looking back maybe they should have stayed; if they would have Bush would not have had the excuse to go back in only 10 years. And for this his father’s mistake many soldiers would die and there was no real good reason. Before James had left for Germany, the station they would deploy to before heading home, James had witnessed some very odd things. Some things that in time would come to define who and what he would become even more so than what he had already witnessed and done himself in the not too distant past, what does the future hold for James now? While getting ready for the return back, most of Saddams solders would surrender without a fight. They were starving and had no ambition to fight. One day while taking in some of these, what we were calling refugees James witnessed something that should have been horrifying. But to him it was exhilarating. He had happened upon an Iraqi solider beheading another, just as he was about to be shot. This should have disgusted him but he stood there doing nothing. His moral compass was already off but however this certainly broke it. Along with the glowing camels and run dead soldiers that had been run over obviously from Iraq this gave him satisfaction, from this reason came his arousal from seeing death. He must find out what it felt like. He must kill for himself. When all the solders returned they were still itching for something to do, it was at this point in my life he started to drink heavily and do drugs. James became that trouble maker that I had worked so hard to get rid of, the beast was unleashed once again except this time he was trained in combat self- defense that was to be used in combat, not in civilian life. People were about to get hurt and get hurt bad. If only there was someone or something he could do to help with all this rage that was starting to boil back up. But there wasn’t, and all he could do was hold on for the ride. And what a ride it would turn out to be. And now all these innocent will know my name, learn to fear and respect what they had only heard about. For the time of the beast is here and he’s about to lift his raging head, fear is all they will know. All these years of abuse as a child and the neglect, racism, and torture was about to come full circle and
I honestly felt for those who would be caught in the way.
To tell this part of the story you would think I would jump right in and tell you all the juicy things your waiting for but that would be giving away too much too fast. I have to first tell you about the major factor that cracked this sad young man once and for good. You would think that what he had already been through would be enough for anyone person to handle, but there is one part of the story I waited till now to tell because otherwise it would have been given away too soon and we couldn’t have that now could we. The one deciding factor that I left out was what happened while James was overseas. You see he may have never have done anything in Kuwait, however when he was on his way back he felt so much frustration from not being able to fight, that while on leave in Germany he took his anger out on the German public. One night while in town he came across a drunken man and began harassing him over what had happened during WW2, although this had nothing to do with him or the man he was talking to, but that didn’t matter. James got really pissed and took out his knife and shoved it through the man’s skull. James had finally done what he thought he needed to do in order to see if this was what he had been craving for, and it was. From then on he was the cracked man he would always be. So you can see why I waited to tell this part. Any earlier would have given too much away. However, wait what could be worse than what he had already done, we will let us find out together.
The year 1992, and the L.A riots had just broken out. James was in the Guard at this time and the Company had just been put on alert because they might be called to respond. This had James itching to go. A day later, the orders came down; we were on our way to L.A to stop the rioting and looting. For James it was the action he never got to see in the Gulf War. Once we arrived, we were instructed to stand our ground and not fire upon civilians unless directly fired upon with malice. Well James had intended to hold his orders, until the second night. This is the night that the rioters decided to test our reserve and fire upon us. Now not all the units were fired upon just one, but this was all the reason he needed to get his so-called revenge. He started firing on rioters blindly not caring who or what he hit, come the next morning finding out that three civilians were dead, shot by M16 rounds, good thing they couldn’t trace the shells back then. Well they could they just chose not to. To this day he doesn’t know if it was his rounds that did the killing or one of the three others who had fired. But he had a good inkling that at least one of the deaths could be attributed to him. And this made him feel very vigorous, and free. At this time he still doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. How wrong can one person be, and how blind can others be not to notice what is going on right in front of them. If only these people could know what monster was in their midst. Looking back James wonders if these people chose not to look or even care because it would mean admitting something they had done. There was a lot of theory’s going around already about the Military choosing to a blind eye to what was going on in the ranks at this time. James didn’t care all he knew was that he now had the training to do what he had always wanted to. Now in his mind people were going to pay for everything that had happened to him whether they had anything to do with it or nor. James no longer cared his sense of right and wrong was skewed so bad even if he gave a **** what was right he probably still would not give a crap. James would start looking for trouble, and hoping he would find it. And more often than not he would. You see he has the perfect job, he drives truck over the road and could be in any state within a days’ time. The perfect tool for the devastation he wanted to bring upon the country. In James’s mind he didn’t get caught for Germany, or the L.A riots incident so he had a free pass for whatever carnage he wants to bring. He had seen enough television shows to know enough about forensics, and investigations. He has an uncle who used to be a chief of police in the past, and gave it up because he was the only straight arrow. He has a cousin who is a swat officer in a Ca. town, James thinks he has it all figured out. Will he get away with it or not. Will this future psychopath and severally cracked individual rage across the country untouched, or will his own ignorance bring him down. Only time will tell.
Word Count: 4,181
Written by Mike Southard