Swatting Flies

[smerdyakov]

Removed

[AuntShecky]

Good start, compelling POV. I'm not going to call you out on the grammatical
errors and the lower case "i" as they are appropriate to the first-person narrator whom you endowed with a believable, strong voice. Everything about this "rings true."

(So far.)

[DocHeart]

Looking forward to the next part!

[Delta40]

I'm interested too Smer. Agree there is some 'grammy errors' but they can all be tidied up. Good start to an interesting story!

[Steven Hunley]

Yes, it's a good start. It seems to offer a 'certain authenticity.' Let's hope for more.

[smerdyakov]

Removed