kcarrillo
07-14-2012, 02:17 PM
Have you ever had one of those days when there is an infinite amount of things you can do but you don’t do them. Like your room is a big giant mess and you just can’t clean it. Or maybe you haven’t taken a shower in days and you are starting to get uncomfortable with your own self, but you still don’t take a shower. You just sit there and daydream. About how when you are older you are going to be a big time movie director and some actress that you’ve admired since middle school will star on it. She will finally know who the heck you are and you’ll be friends and hang out together. You just dream. You just stay suspended in a time where there is no past, no present, no future, but just a daydream.
I want to evaporate. I want to condense and float in the atmosphere. I want to feel nothing at all, and for a moment I do feel nothing, but only for a moment. Because then I feel the water running down my dirty body again. I stand there, still, very still, because I want to be the water. I stand there for what seems like hours but, I give up and realize I will never become water. I turn off the shower and walk the three step distance from my restroom to my bedroom naked. My feet leave wet foot prints on my wooden floor. I stop in front of my dresser mirror and stare at the top half of my body. I don’t think I look half bad. I look back at the window behind me, making sure no one might be looking through the curtains. I like to look at myself naked. I like to be naked. This world would be a lot better if we were all naked. God didn’t want us to decorate our bodies with clothes. The human body is so beautiful. Why would you try to enhance it by wearing clothes or even worse plastic surgery? Getting plastic surgery is a sin against humanity. It is like trying to make a sun set better. You can’t.
How did the mirror get so dirty? It is like somebody got dirty water and sprayed it on my mirror. I get dressed, and it took a while trying to get my clothes on with all the water still in my body. It is spring break and since I am not old enough to get invited to some party, I stay at my house. I log on to twitter, follow five strangers so they could follow me back, check Demi’s latest tweet and log off twitter. I feel like reading some brand new book where I would get surprised with every turn of a page, but I read all the books I have already, and I have no method of transportation to the library. I lie down in my bed and look for a good song to listen to in my broken IPod, but I can’t listen to a song for more than thirty seconds without getting bored. I turn on the television and go through four rounds of all the channels and find nothing good to see.
My mom walks into my room with a pair of yellow working gloves and tells me to fold the piles of clothes located in opposite corners in my room. I will fold them, just not right now. I am trying to find something better to do with my time and folding some clothes doesn’t seem like something that will entertain me. I know what I’m doing. I am trying to avoid my situation here. I am trying to think of something that will completely distract my mind. I don’t know how to deal with pressure. The fact is that in about twenty two hours spring break will be over and I am dreading going back to school. How can everybody be so mean? I know that they probably have low self-esteem and they just want to boost their ego a little but higher, but what about me?
I nervously walked down the school halls, hoping not to see Kairy. I know that her small black eyes filled with hatred will be the catalyst to a morning break down. “Good morning miss Abby.” “Good morning Mr. Akin”, I replied with a smile. Mr. Akin was a bald man of about fifty years of age. He had scoliosis which caused him to have a hunch back. His light blue eyes were hidden behind his Harry Potter glasses, which was quite a shame because they were his only youthful feature. He was standing right outside his office/classroom. He had been my 6th grade Science teacher, but a year ago he got moved from the Science department to Life Skills. He always said hello to me, maybe because I was one of the few kids who didn’t make his life a living hell.
I kept walking down the 100 mile hallway as quickly as possible and made it safely to first period Algebra. I sat at my seat and was greeted by Emanuel with this morning’s discussion. “Hey, El, would you kill someone who killed your brother?” “No, I am not stupid enough to ruin my life by serving a life sentence” I replied. Emanuel always asked the weirdest questions, sometimes they were thought provoking, but most of the time they were just weird. He always managed to make Ricky, Brandon, and I debate about something or other. We all sat at the corner of the back of the room because our last names started with the letters R, or S. Emanuel was the average height for a thirteen year old, he had long side burns and big black eyes with dark circles around them. His hair was very thick which must be hard to calm because he could never get his hair to look nice. “You’re not getting your point across well enough. What he means is would you kill someone who had hurt you in some massive way”, Jake tried to explain while he finished yesterday’s homework with a minute left for the bell. “I still say no. What if I get caught?” Jake was short and dark skinned with short black hair. I always thought that his voice made everything sound more serious and intelligent. “Why would you ask such a dumb question, Emanuel?” Ricky said making Emanuel feel like a total moron. Ricky was extremely skinny; I believed he was malnourished for a while, but then I started sitting with him in lunch and realized he just had the metabolism of a teenage boy. His hair was black and I thought he had the most beautiful shade of hazel brown eyes.
I was finally relaxed when I saw her coming in my classroom. I always baffle myself by how quickly I think a problem is over and done with. I mean, I was eventually going to see her; I have her for fourth period. Kairy walked in our homeroom to Ms. Rivera’s desk and handed her some papers. I pretended not to notice her, hoping the others wouldn’t pay any attention to her either, but of course they did. Janet looked at Kairy with the eyes of a hunter, watching and studying her every move, every nervous weight shift from the left to the right leg, watched her clean her hands from what must only be sweat. Josh smiled, I couldn’t believe it, he was actually smiling at the possibility of hurting somebody’s feelings. Ms. Rivera mumbled something to Kairy and gave her back the papers. As Kairy started to walk out of the classroom, Janet stood up to sharpen her pencil. She went around eight desks instead of three just to walk by Kairy. Kairy tried to walk around her, but Janet, the star of the basketball team, made sure that didn’t happen and blocked Kairy with her legs and torso. They were so close together that their noses were practically touching. Although Kairy was Janet’s height Kairy seemed to be as small as and as defenseless as a six year old. Janet mumbled something in Kairy’s ear. She then smiled and walked towards the sharpener to sharpen her already sharpened pencil.
Josh, who saw that Kairy was walking out of the classroom, tore a sheet of paper out of his notebook and threw it at Kairy. Everybody laughed, I laughed.
I want to evaporate. I want to condense and float in the atmosphere. I want to feel nothing at all, and for a moment I do feel nothing, but only for a moment. Because then I feel the water running down my dirty body again. I stand there, still, very still, because I want to be the water. I stand there for what seems like hours but, I give up and realize I will never become water. I turn off the shower and walk the three step distance from my restroom to my bedroom naked. My feet leave wet foot prints on my wooden floor. I stop in front of my dresser mirror and stare at the top half of my body. I don’t think I look half bad. I look back at the window behind me, making sure no one might be looking through the curtains. I like to look at myself naked. I like to be naked. This world would be a lot better if we were all naked. God didn’t want us to decorate our bodies with clothes. The human body is so beautiful. Why would you try to enhance it by wearing clothes or even worse plastic surgery? Getting plastic surgery is a sin against humanity. It is like trying to make a sun set better. You can’t.
How did the mirror get so dirty? It is like somebody got dirty water and sprayed it on my mirror. I get dressed, and it took a while trying to get my clothes on with all the water still in my body. It is spring break and since I am not old enough to get invited to some party, I stay at my house. I log on to twitter, follow five strangers so they could follow me back, check Demi’s latest tweet and log off twitter. I feel like reading some brand new book where I would get surprised with every turn of a page, but I read all the books I have already, and I have no method of transportation to the library. I lie down in my bed and look for a good song to listen to in my broken IPod, but I can’t listen to a song for more than thirty seconds without getting bored. I turn on the television and go through four rounds of all the channels and find nothing good to see.
My mom walks into my room with a pair of yellow working gloves and tells me to fold the piles of clothes located in opposite corners in my room. I will fold them, just not right now. I am trying to find something better to do with my time and folding some clothes doesn’t seem like something that will entertain me. I know what I’m doing. I am trying to avoid my situation here. I am trying to think of something that will completely distract my mind. I don’t know how to deal with pressure. The fact is that in about twenty two hours spring break will be over and I am dreading going back to school. How can everybody be so mean? I know that they probably have low self-esteem and they just want to boost their ego a little but higher, but what about me?
I nervously walked down the school halls, hoping not to see Kairy. I know that her small black eyes filled with hatred will be the catalyst to a morning break down. “Good morning miss Abby.” “Good morning Mr. Akin”, I replied with a smile. Mr. Akin was a bald man of about fifty years of age. He had scoliosis which caused him to have a hunch back. His light blue eyes were hidden behind his Harry Potter glasses, which was quite a shame because they were his only youthful feature. He was standing right outside his office/classroom. He had been my 6th grade Science teacher, but a year ago he got moved from the Science department to Life Skills. He always said hello to me, maybe because I was one of the few kids who didn’t make his life a living hell.
I kept walking down the 100 mile hallway as quickly as possible and made it safely to first period Algebra. I sat at my seat and was greeted by Emanuel with this morning’s discussion. “Hey, El, would you kill someone who killed your brother?” “No, I am not stupid enough to ruin my life by serving a life sentence” I replied. Emanuel always asked the weirdest questions, sometimes they were thought provoking, but most of the time they were just weird. He always managed to make Ricky, Brandon, and I debate about something or other. We all sat at the corner of the back of the room because our last names started with the letters R, or S. Emanuel was the average height for a thirteen year old, he had long side burns and big black eyes with dark circles around them. His hair was very thick which must be hard to calm because he could never get his hair to look nice. “You’re not getting your point across well enough. What he means is would you kill someone who had hurt you in some massive way”, Jake tried to explain while he finished yesterday’s homework with a minute left for the bell. “I still say no. What if I get caught?” Jake was short and dark skinned with short black hair. I always thought that his voice made everything sound more serious and intelligent. “Why would you ask such a dumb question, Emanuel?” Ricky said making Emanuel feel like a total moron. Ricky was extremely skinny; I believed he was malnourished for a while, but then I started sitting with him in lunch and realized he just had the metabolism of a teenage boy. His hair was black and I thought he had the most beautiful shade of hazel brown eyes.
I was finally relaxed when I saw her coming in my classroom. I always baffle myself by how quickly I think a problem is over and done with. I mean, I was eventually going to see her; I have her for fourth period. Kairy walked in our homeroom to Ms. Rivera’s desk and handed her some papers. I pretended not to notice her, hoping the others wouldn’t pay any attention to her either, but of course they did. Janet looked at Kairy with the eyes of a hunter, watching and studying her every move, every nervous weight shift from the left to the right leg, watched her clean her hands from what must only be sweat. Josh smiled, I couldn’t believe it, he was actually smiling at the possibility of hurting somebody’s feelings. Ms. Rivera mumbled something to Kairy and gave her back the papers. As Kairy started to walk out of the classroom, Janet stood up to sharpen her pencil. She went around eight desks instead of three just to walk by Kairy. Kairy tried to walk around her, but Janet, the star of the basketball team, made sure that didn’t happen and blocked Kairy with her legs and torso. They were so close together that their noses were practically touching. Although Kairy was Janet’s height Kairy seemed to be as small as and as defenseless as a six year old. Janet mumbled something in Kairy’s ear. She then smiled and walked towards the sharpener to sharpen her already sharpened pencil.
Josh, who saw that Kairy was walking out of the classroom, tore a sheet of paper out of his notebook and threw it at Kairy. Everybody laughed, I laughed.