The Morning Shift

[Twota]

She wakes up at dawn
and then rises to the sky,
her apple pie light
awakens all patients in joy,
activates warming systems,
showers the ill and cleans,
she gives them all
doses of vitamin D to immune,
as they watch her show
of lights and dancing shadows,
her job is then done
and so she leaves at dusk
as her younger brother
brightly takes the night shift.

[Revolte]

Just a couple things, I'm not sure if you used dozes intentionally or if you meant to put doses.

And I'm not sure about the last comma, it puts a break in an odd place for me.





her apple pie light



Also, I love this ^

[Bar22do]

Adorable!

[Delta40]

Edit dozes to doses and you have captured a wonderful glimpse here with poetry. This is a really good piece, especially the line: 'her apple pie light'.

Twota, since you joined Lit-Net, it's been a joy to watch you develop your craft.

[Twota]

Revolte, thank you, I meant 'doses' yes, and I removed the comma. :D

Bar, Thanks lots, glad you liked it. :D

Deltaa, you always encourage me, thank you dear. =D

[Buh4Bee]

She wakes up at dawn
and then rises to the sky,
her apple pie light
awakens all patients in joy,
activates warming systems,
showers the ill and cleans,
she gives them all
doses of vitamin D to immune,
as they watch her show
of lights and dancing shadows,
her job is then done
and so she leaves at dusk
as her younger brother
brightly takes the night shift.

I liked the line:
her apple pie light

Nice visual.

The ending was really cute as you usually the reverse- moon is a girl.

[Jack of Hearts]

This reader pictured nurses or hospital workers. The apple pie line was absolutely inspired. Nicely done Twota.





J

[Twota]

Thanks Buh, glad you liked it. :D

Jack, your editing reason, LOL :D thank you, glad you liked it. :D