The Sky Fire

[Revolte]

Flickering and fading–slowly in stealth–
the star-candle burned floating sheep
as Kiba sat beside me, alarmed by neighboring noise.

My pseudo-mint cigarette-fuse came creeping
closer, closer, close as close could be
until it vanished within my lungs
so I could smash the butt in vengeance.

I sighed and stretched and watched the skies
–amazed by changing colors.

Then, with the blast of rusty barrels
the sky-fire went to sleep
and now, so will I.

[Bar22do]

L1 - I'd do without "slowly";
L 7 "smash the butt in vengeance" - very nice;
I'd also do without the last L.

have enjoyed and thank you Revolte!

[Delta40]

Enjoyed the whole poem Revolte. I'd cut out the last line too or add to the descriptor to make it three lines ending 'the sky-fire went to sleep'

[Revolte]

I can't do that, in most cases I would, but it's not how it happened. So it would be a lie, and I can't do that.

[Delta40]

I can't do that, in most cases I would, but it's not how it happened. So it would be a lie, and I can't do that.

As a poet you are allowed poetic license. Be creative!

[Revolte]

It would read better if I cut it out. But the relationship between me and the sunset-clouds just seems to important to me. Because I'm wacky.