Naive...?

[Jeos]

Really hard to translate it from portuguese.

My love it’s now or never:
- On the crest of the wave perched
Let us take advantage -
the gods are smiling !

Let us take advantage of Spring!
To us again and forever the lightning
to us again and forever
the wick that the more it burns

the less it consumes !
And let's go green naked
from flower to flower making love

While it's still spring ...
while there's still spring ...
It's now…or never my love ...?

[Hawkman]

I think the only thing you need to do this is move perched to the beginning of the line S1 L2
and move, "the wick" to the end of S2 L3. Cute verse.

Live and be well -H

[Jack of Hearts]

Jeos-

your poetic spirit permeates through the translation. It reminds this reader of Pablo Neruda, what with all the nature and the lovemaking. Favorite line:


And let's go green naked

It just somehow seems to work. Well done.






J

[Bar22do]

I always think translating is harder than writing in a language directly, be it in a foreign tongue. Kudos, then, for your effort.

[Jeos]

Thanks for the incentives. Translating it's also a way of learning poetry - for poetry can also be learned, if one has a minimum of talent. And it's fascinating despite the hardness - or due to the hardness ?
I am currently translating Adunis (french - portuguese) just for my own pleasure.
And thanks too for the details Hawkman.