Angelic Devil
07-11-2012, 02:28 AM
Hello everyone,
Not the adept writer, nor the smartest pea in the pod, but this is something I wrote and I'd like to share. From time to time it is nice to get opinions and see some critisim, as I'd love to keep improving, despite my lack of energy or spirit.
So here I go *sighs*:
Futile Delusion:
-------------------
Winter’s breeze when you come my way
Remember the warm summer’s day
The heat, the wind, the sand in my eyes
The snowflakes melting in her hands
The autumn leaves’ twirl in the salmon air
The trees' dancing to her heart’s despair
Remember the spring, the morning dew
The Holly’s wave to a raven’s adieu
Our memories fear of the crimson sea’s wrath
As they scattered within the deceitful tides
When we wandered in a subtle artisan’s path
We began the journey with a warm smile
Believing, I stood at the mountain’s peak
Flung my arms to the effervescent horizons
As the diamond pebbles sunk her feet
We fell into the sallow heavens
The ashen sky hovered over the clouded lair
Of the gluttonous flames feasting on a dream
So as she clapped her hands to offer a prayer
I closed my eyes to cast a wish in a pouring stream
So winter’s breeze, when you come again
Tell me the story of the futile delusion
Carved in stone, dirtied by the rain
And soothe her scarred love, my eternal seclusion
-------------------
Cheers,
M
Not the adept writer, nor the smartest pea in the pod, but this is something I wrote and I'd like to share. From time to time it is nice to get opinions and see some critisim, as I'd love to keep improving, despite my lack of energy or spirit.
So here I go *sighs*:
Futile Delusion:
-------------------
Winter’s breeze when you come my way
Remember the warm summer’s day
The heat, the wind, the sand in my eyes
The snowflakes melting in her hands
The autumn leaves’ twirl in the salmon air
The trees' dancing to her heart’s despair
Remember the spring, the morning dew
The Holly’s wave to a raven’s adieu
Our memories fear of the crimson sea’s wrath
As they scattered within the deceitful tides
When we wandered in a subtle artisan’s path
We began the journey with a warm smile
Believing, I stood at the mountain’s peak
Flung my arms to the effervescent horizons
As the diamond pebbles sunk her feet
We fell into the sallow heavens
The ashen sky hovered over the clouded lair
Of the gluttonous flames feasting on a dream
So as she clapped her hands to offer a prayer
I closed my eyes to cast a wish in a pouring stream
So winter’s breeze, when you come again
Tell me the story of the futile delusion
Carved in stone, dirtied by the rain
And soothe her scarred love, my eternal seclusion
-------------------
Cheers,
M