Halder
07-10-2012, 08:53 PM
My goal was to try and write and interesting story in 1000 words or less. Please feel free to offer any criticism. Hope you enjoy it!
Susan breathed deeply, almost tasting the crisp smell of pine needles in the cool morning air. The sun was bright, and the birds were singing. With an almost imperceptible smile, she pressed her eye against the lens and watched them, their feathered forms as joyful as their voices.
First she saw a beautiful black bird with a splendid red spot on each wing. The distance silenced the creature’s voice, but the way it darted through the air filled Susan with delight. It seemed to be after some invisible prey, and she assumed it was feasting on insects beyond the capacities of her equipment.
Next she spied a beautiful blue jay, its croaking call just creeping into her ears. For several moments she observed the way the light danced across its feathers. Then it took to the sky in a hurry and she lost it. A resounding and majestic shriek filled the valley, explaining the cause of the jay’s surprise. Susan swept her lens over the verdant tree-covered slopes and into the azure skies. The breeze picked up as she saw the eagle, and her smile widened as she drank in its savage nobility.
The eagle had breathtaking tawny feathers and an impressive wingspan. As she focused her view and looked into the raptor’s golden eyes, Susan felt on the verge of giddiness. For the next twenty minutes, she watched the birds and listened to their music. Memories of years long past and endless summer days seemed to resurface as she watched, the wings of her feathered subjects carrying her to times as lighthearted as their lilting notes.
Through the lens her eyes followed the birds across the slopes and down into the valley. On the slopes the trees were broken only rarely by private roads and their subsequent cabins. The slopes with their cabins gave way to a small but more public road in the valley, but the main attraction was the golf course. Private, world class, and used by only a small number of wealthy sportsmen, it didn’t seem to particularly bother the birds. In fact, they seemed to enjoy the water traps.
Still, the obvious unnaturalness of the course bothered Susan. It reeked of human, and seemed to insult the surrounding forest. Worst of all, it reminded her of the world she came from. In that world she had a job, and it didn’t leave much time for watching the birds. She wrinkled her nose and tried to go back to her feathered saviors, her guides away from a world of golf courses.
Unfortunately her eye caught site of a group of men. Closer inspection revealed there were four men in the group, two caddies and two golfers. They all wore nice polo shirts and dress pants that undoubtedly cost far more than they should have. The golfers had a certain swagger that only men truly convinced of their own status can ever master. Rolex watches, three thousand dollar shoes, and professional grade clubs for men that were obviously not pros. Susan grimaced. The golf course was their element, and they relished it. Why did they even bother to come to this remote place, that was obviously meant for the birds and those that watched them?
Susan felt a pang of sadness return from a place she had been pretending was far away. Here she was, deep in the woods among the birds, yet there was a golf course. Everywhere had a golf course. The men down in the valley loved golf courses. They made sure they spread. Eye pressed against the lens, she now studied the face of one of the men. He was aged – his skin was white and wrinkled. Yet his seemingly plain smile betrayed both arrogance and hunger. Susan paused. She wasn’t sure what made the smile so repulsive. She decided it was his eyes. They were brown, and full of a sort of pride that showed him for what he was – an apex predator. Like the eagle Susan had seen earlier, he was master of his domain and did as he pleased. Yet his domain was not the open skies above the forest but the golf course; and just as the golf course lacked the forest’s majesty, its master lacked the eagle’s nobility.
The breeze had died down and the birds’ music faded ever so slightly. With a small stir of regret, Susan continued to watch the man in the center of her lens. She knew exactly who he was, and what that meant. Her morning of watching birds had come to an end, and it was time to do her job so that she return to another place with another golf course. Susan pulled the trigger, and the man’s head exploded with a sound like thunder.
The birds fell mournfully silent as Susan drew her face away from the lens of her scope. With a heavy heart, she began to mechanically disassemble her sniper rifle. At the end of the day, it was always back to the golf course. Still, if she kept her head down and moved quickly, maybe one day she would be able to leave the golf courses behind and watch the birds again.
Susan breathed deeply, almost tasting the crisp smell of pine needles in the cool morning air. The sun was bright, and the birds were singing. With an almost imperceptible smile, she pressed her eye against the lens and watched them, their feathered forms as joyful as their voices.
First she saw a beautiful black bird with a splendid red spot on each wing. The distance silenced the creature’s voice, but the way it darted through the air filled Susan with delight. It seemed to be after some invisible prey, and she assumed it was feasting on insects beyond the capacities of her equipment.
Next she spied a beautiful blue jay, its croaking call just creeping into her ears. For several moments she observed the way the light danced across its feathers. Then it took to the sky in a hurry and she lost it. A resounding and majestic shriek filled the valley, explaining the cause of the jay’s surprise. Susan swept her lens over the verdant tree-covered slopes and into the azure skies. The breeze picked up as she saw the eagle, and her smile widened as she drank in its savage nobility.
The eagle had breathtaking tawny feathers and an impressive wingspan. As she focused her view and looked into the raptor’s golden eyes, Susan felt on the verge of giddiness. For the next twenty minutes, she watched the birds and listened to their music. Memories of years long past and endless summer days seemed to resurface as she watched, the wings of her feathered subjects carrying her to times as lighthearted as their lilting notes.
Through the lens her eyes followed the birds across the slopes and down into the valley. On the slopes the trees were broken only rarely by private roads and their subsequent cabins. The slopes with their cabins gave way to a small but more public road in the valley, but the main attraction was the golf course. Private, world class, and used by only a small number of wealthy sportsmen, it didn’t seem to particularly bother the birds. In fact, they seemed to enjoy the water traps.
Still, the obvious unnaturalness of the course bothered Susan. It reeked of human, and seemed to insult the surrounding forest. Worst of all, it reminded her of the world she came from. In that world she had a job, and it didn’t leave much time for watching the birds. She wrinkled her nose and tried to go back to her feathered saviors, her guides away from a world of golf courses.
Unfortunately her eye caught site of a group of men. Closer inspection revealed there were four men in the group, two caddies and two golfers. They all wore nice polo shirts and dress pants that undoubtedly cost far more than they should have. The golfers had a certain swagger that only men truly convinced of their own status can ever master. Rolex watches, three thousand dollar shoes, and professional grade clubs for men that were obviously not pros. Susan grimaced. The golf course was their element, and they relished it. Why did they even bother to come to this remote place, that was obviously meant for the birds and those that watched them?
Susan felt a pang of sadness return from a place she had been pretending was far away. Here she was, deep in the woods among the birds, yet there was a golf course. Everywhere had a golf course. The men down in the valley loved golf courses. They made sure they spread. Eye pressed against the lens, she now studied the face of one of the men. He was aged – his skin was white and wrinkled. Yet his seemingly plain smile betrayed both arrogance and hunger. Susan paused. She wasn’t sure what made the smile so repulsive. She decided it was his eyes. They were brown, and full of a sort of pride that showed him for what he was – an apex predator. Like the eagle Susan had seen earlier, he was master of his domain and did as he pleased. Yet his domain was not the open skies above the forest but the golf course; and just as the golf course lacked the forest’s majesty, its master lacked the eagle’s nobility.
The breeze had died down and the birds’ music faded ever so slightly. With a small stir of regret, Susan continued to watch the man in the center of her lens. She knew exactly who he was, and what that meant. Her morning of watching birds had come to an end, and it was time to do her job so that she return to another place with another golf course. Susan pulled the trigger, and the man’s head exploded with a sound like thunder.
The birds fell mournfully silent as Susan drew her face away from the lens of her scope. With a heavy heart, she began to mechanically disassemble her sniper rifle. At the end of the day, it was always back to the golf course. Still, if she kept her head down and moved quickly, maybe one day she would be able to leave the golf courses behind and watch the birds again.