Autism

[Darcy88]

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[Darcy88]

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[Darcy88]

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[JuniperWoolf]

Autism is over-diagnosed these days, it's the new bipolar. I don't think it's necessary to look for a diagnosis, especially a psychological one since it's so speculative and inconclusive. Actually self-diagnosis can be really harmful, you'll end up as a self-fulfilling prophesy. They warn medical and psych students about that, the more things you read about, you start to think - "huh, that sounds like me... oh my God, I have bowel cancer!" And if you get a medical diagnosis for a "psychological disorder," it'll change in five years.

Except for the synaesthesia (which is pretty cool by the way), the rest that you describe is, I would say, just your personality. Don't even think about the stupid titles, just go with it.

[Paulclem]

You sound pretty normal to me mate, even lucky to be endowed with synaesthesia.

Just as a footnote to Juniper, I have a friend who "discovered" he was mildly autistic. His reaction was to act so - in a way he never had before, though i think he seemed to be looking for a way to expalain himself to himself. He now acts as he always has which is no odder than anyone else I know.

[Darcy88]

Autism is over-diagnosed these days, it's the new bipolar. I don't think it's necessary to look for a diagnosis, especially a psychological one since it's so speculative and inconclusive. Actually self-diagnosis can be really harmful, you'll end up as a self-fulfilling prophesy. They warn medical and psych students about that, the more things you read about, you start to think - "huh, that sounds like me... oh my God, I have bowel cancer!" And if you get a medical diagnosis for a "psychological disorder," it'll change in five years.

Except for the senestesia (which is pretty cool by the way), the rest that you describe is, I would say, just your personality. Don't even think about the stupid titles, just go with it.

I am the poster-child of self-diagnosis gone awry. I am not too hung up on labels, I am aware how the constant self-diagnosing is affecting me, but I have my family constantly bringing up my mental problems. My friends don't give a ****, they just want me to be happy and most of them are convinced that I don't have anything, that I'm just me, but my family won't stop bringing it up. My mom is a nurse. lol.

[JuniperWoolf]

Haha, my boyfriend's aunt is a nurse, she's annoying. "You're looking pale hun, better get that anemia checked out."

[Darcy88]

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[qimissung]

Gaaah! Which certain movie star do you resemble, Darcy? It's not fair to bring that up and then withhold information!

I can understand you wanting to know something that might help you understand yourself better, and giving it a name. The thing is, is your life working? Are you able to function at a level that pleases you? Do you percieve your personality as problematic? Is there something you strongly feel you would like to change or need to change in order to improve your quality of life?

If your life is not working, and you do need to make changes, then maybe you do need to pursue a diagnosis. If everything is working, then maybe you can let it go.

My oldest son had a lot of problems as an adolescent (I know that's practically the definition of one, lol). I saw an article in Newsweek on Bi-polar disorder and his behaviors fit a lot of the categories. Was that what was causing his problems? Then when he was 18 he was diagnosed as having ADHD. It didn't change anything and he still struggled for years after that with depression. He never took any medication-for about a year he was on Effexor-and it's only been in the last couple of years that he has been able to be in charge of his life. Every once in a while he'll run up against something and I might say "That's your ADD talking," and we'll laugh, because he knows and I know that having this thing doesn't define him, and knowledge of it is simply an occasional guideline through the maze of life. If that helps. :D

I never heard of anybody autistic who was highly charismatic, however. You do sound interesting, however. :)

[Darcy88]

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[AuntShecky]

Just between you and me, it's probably not a good idea to make a self-diagnosis or to solicit medical opinions on the Internet, even a prodigious website such as the LitNet. If a person is really bothered by certain physical or psychological problems, he or she would be much better off making an apointment with a professional clinician. If a person lacks health insurance, there are ways to help finance medical care. (That last sentence is moot, since the OP says he is a Canadian citizen. That's really fortunate for him.)

But whatever the problem, and whatever the financial circulmstance, the first thing to do is make the call.

(I will send you a PM with a more personal answer.)

[Darcy88]

Just between you and me, it's probably not a good idea to make a self-diagnosis or to solicit medical opinions on the Internet, even a prodigious website such as the LitNet. If a person is really bothered by certain physical or psychological problems, he or she would be much better off making an apointment with a professional clinician. If a person lacks health insurance, there are ways to help finance medical care. (That last sentence is moot, since the OP says he is a Canadian citizen. That's really fortunate for him.)

But whatever the problem, and whatever the financial circulmstance, the first thing to do is make the call.

(I will send you a PM with a more personal answer.)

I do see a doctor more than once a week. I see doctors so so so much.

[Delta40]

My daughter's boyfriend has that rigid self. He focuses on mixed martial arts but is actually afraid to do anything because of the possible consequences so he just sits there. He doesn't like to make decisions and 'ponders' endlessly so my daughter takes control of everything. He is mad on routine though and gets thrown easily if things don't go according to plan and is asked to come up with a plan B. It does his head in. he's a really nice, gentle guy but at a party recently, when my daughter was getting 'manhandled' by a drunk guy, he was completely rigid then too and just sat there. She had to rescue both herself and him from the situation and leave - despite his martial arts training (which he is very good at) I know he was ashamed inside and he battles hard but his family are in deep denial that there is anything wrong with their 'baby' but its so obvious to us that he at least has some form of mild autism. When it comes to work, he is 100% reliable and will turn up, rain hale or shine and is an employers dream. When my daughter was off work sick, he didn't tell his family because he lacks the ability to inform them of any significant change. She asked him to take some annual leave to be with her but he just couldn't do it.

[Darcy88]

My daughter's boyfriend has that rigid self. He focuses on mixed martial arts but is actually afraid to do anything because of the possible consequences so he just sits there. He doesn't like to make decisions and 'ponders' endlessly so my daughter takes control of everything. He is mad on routine though and gets thrown easily if things don't go according to plan and is asked to come up with a plan B. It does his head in. he's a really nice, gentle guy but at a party recently, when my daughter was getting 'manhandled' by a drunk guy, he was completely rigid then too and just sat there. She had to rescue both herself and him from the situation and leave - despite his martial arts training (which he is very good at) I know he was ashamed inside and he battles hard but his family are in deep denial that there is anything wrong with their 'baby' but its so obvious to us that he at least has some form of mild autism. When it comes to work, he is 100% reliable and will turn up, rain hale or shine and is an employers dream. When my daughter was off work sick, he didn't tell his family because he lacks the ability to inform them of any significant change. She asked him to take some annual leave to be with her but he just couldn't do it.

This sounds a lot like me. I am like that, quite a bit like that. Except I also have the other self which flies off the handle. At that party I probably would have beaten the manhandling drunk guy to death or as much as I could until people pulled me off. So I don't know. I have both "selves."

[Delta40]

This sounds a lot like me. I am like that, quite a bit like that. Except I also have the other self which flies off the handle. At that party I probably would have beaten the manhandling drunk guy to death or as much as I could until people pulled me off. So I don't know. I have both "selves."

You probably would have Darcy. This guy doesn't have that other self but we're all different. Like I said, he's a really nice guy, rather shy, honest and hardworking but that rigid side predominates and overshadows any possibility of him developing into an extroverted self. His family have always just seen him as a nice quiet italian boy who does his mother proud. His older brothers are the ones who have the outgoing life, break girls hearts and do as they please. He is 25 and my daughter is his first girlfriend and if it wasn't for her outgoing personality, I doubt he would ever have initiatiated anything. I feel a bit sorry for my daughter but on the other hand, she did make her choice.

[OrphanPip]

I agree with Qimi that getting a diagnosis isn't just about labeling, but it can also provide some sort of guidance or help in dealing with issues if you want to deal with them.

I know personally that growing up in a home with someone who ignored their mental health issues was not a good place to be, so as much as I respect people's rights to be different and not medicated into a zombie state, I hope that people do seek help when they feel there is something affecting the quality of their life.

[qimissung]

Thanks, Darcy. So, does your problem lie in your personality traits or is it this Robert Pattinson thing?

I truly believe you, but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that whole thing. I know it's harrassment, but for God's sake don't take your life over that. Can you have a t-shirt made, or even a series of them, that says in big letters "No, I'm NOT Robert Pattinson!"
or "Yes, I AM a vampire and I WILL bite you!" or something? Just for when your running errands. Or carry a poster with a crudely drawn hand with the middle finger up and underneath it the words "This means you"? Or can you and your mates come up with another humorous way to deflect attention from yourself?

Would you be willing to wear sunglasses (hey, it worked for Clark Kent!). Sure, it's annoying, but it's annoying now, and your current solution is depression and ending your life. The trick I think, is to just turn this around, and try to find a way to either be a little more anonymous (if possible) or conversly, outrageous. Mix it up and see what works best. :)

[qimissung]

Also, Darcy, if, say you did have ADHD, it's entirely possible that you have a co-existing problem. People with ADHD are suseptible to having other disorders such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, Sensory Integration Disorder. Here's something for you to look at; if anything sounds like something your dealing with you can take it up with your doctor.





http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=13851


Two books that I found helpful are "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., and "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.

Good luck!

[Delta40]

I totally agree that diagnosis is a good thing. It stops us from fighting an unknown thing in the dark. It sheds light on our 'opponent' and allows finally to work alongside them instead of fighting them and making the most with the knowledge we now have and also presents us with opportunity and potential of overreaching ourselves. We can't do this unless we know what we are dealing with in the first place Darcy.

[Darcy88]

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[Buh4Bee]

I don't know you, but I can share some general advice I'd tell any parent investigating a specific diagnosis such as what you have shared. The correct label is Asperger's Syndrome. If you have Asperber's there is often a history of a developmental delay, such as motor skills or language. You are very verbal and I assume well coordinated from all the martial arts you do. You have a label of ADHD or just ADD? You take medication for it, which seems to help. I remember you stating at some point that you didn't take medication, so I assume your medication is a new strategy you are using. Hope it is helping. Some people who have Asperger's are not responsive to medication, simply b/c the brain chemistry is different. It can exist with ADDH (co-morbid diagnosis?). A person with anxiety and ADHD, can also look a bit like Asperger's. It's hard to tease out what is what, as it is not an exact science. They is a lot of brain research going on, so hopefully in the next 20 years they can hook people up to a scanner and see the brain function. It is so hard to know when something is not right, but you can't grasp what it is. It can also be as simple as a weaken mental state. Good luck, and I hope you get the correct label!!

[Darcy88]

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[qimissung]

I don't know what my problem is. Around the time my family freaked out at me and made me seek help I was feeling great and all my friends and my girlfriend who I was living with at the time did not think anything was wrong with me. To be honest the last year has been one of the best of my life. But my family freaks out about mental health. So now I'm medicated up like a zombie and my friends all miss the me that has disappeared. I will be fine. Once I figure out my next moves I'll be all right. Once summer is over and the tourists leave my area things will be a lot easier for me. Plus I plan on moving far away from here, across the country or something, maybe even to another country, and I find that when I travel a lot of people treat me like who I really am - just some dude who bears a slight resemblence to a movie star. Threatening to sue people also really helps. It scares some of the people away. Hahaha. I threaten to sue multiple times every day. Its the only way I can have some modicum of privacy. I'm also in a state of shock most of the time because of the extra attention I've been getting the last two months and all the scary things that have happened. Its because I took a trip to a major city. I usually hide out in my small town but a couple months ago I went to a major city and it like alerted people to the existence of this crazy guy who looks a lot like that movie star. Things are not as bad as I sometimes make them out to be. I'll be all right.

So, I'm a bit confused, Darcy. Do you take the medication because it helps, or because your family wants you to? In general, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Darcy88]

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[Buh4Bee]

One further suggestion is if you have any documentation of your delays or ADHD, I'd bring it with you to the doctor. Any reports can give the doctor more background information and see your situation more thoroughly.

[Darcy88]

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[The Kid]

Let me just say if you are planning on moving don't move to the United States. Some parts are nice, but these places are hard to find.

[Alexander III]

Let me just say if you are planning on moving don't move to the United States. Some parts are nice, but these places are hard to find.

Move to Eritrea, hardly any obese people and none of that corporate bull****; there is it just good ol'fashioned warlords.

[Buh4Bee]

So where are yo in this process? I know you blogged but did you get a definite diagnosis? If so, who is the doctor, since you said he is world re-known? I am always curious to see if the person has published anything worth reading.

[neilgee]

Hello again Darcy, I'm not going to offer you advice as I have a son who genuinely is on the autistic spectrum - it's called aspergus syndrome in his case - and I know I'm not qualified to help him or even understand him (no book I've read on aspergus has given me a satisfactory explanation of what the condition is or what makes a person with it tick) so to advise you would be just fatuous.

I would agree with Aunt Shecky that a literature forum is not the place to look for advice on a medical condition if you are serious about this, but you don't sound autistic to me for what my completely non-medical opinion is worth. My son is 21 and had never had a girlfriend, let alone lived with one. Believe me you don't have as many problems as you think you have.

PS Aspergus is relatively low on the autistic spectrum.

[Revolte]

Autism, like all "disorders" differs in severity. If you're really looking for help understand all of this I wouldn't suggest these forums. More often then not the crowd around here will suggest going to a doctor, getting medication and help because there is something "wrong" with you. It's a load of bull. Plus, here you'll just get into silly debates with a good some of people who don't have any actual experience with mental disorders, at least not from the perspective of alternative "medication" (and no I don't mean drugs).

I'm not saying they aren't brilliant, just that this place isn't the right place for this.

If this is a big thing to you, something you are dealing with rather then wanting to debate, then google the Icarus Project. As it is made up of people who actually have the disorders and a good mix of people who go through the popular means of therapy, as well as their own.

Icarus is also a lot more then a website, and you can attend meet ups and events (if in your area, or you could start your own group).

Feel free to debate here, but if it's a big deal then discussing it with people who know it first hand might be a better way to go about it. And, don't trust the mental health system, it's a crock of horse *splat* (of course, it does help some people, but generalizing treatment is disgusting in terms of mental health when even the same disorders are individual)

[neilgee]

this place isn't the right place for this.

If this is a big thing to you, something you are dealing with rather then wanting to debate, then google the Icarus Project. As it is made up of people who actually have the disorders and a good mix of people who go through the popular means of therapy, as well as their own.

Icarus is also a lot more then a website, and you can attend meet ups and events (if in your area, or you could start your own group).

Feel free to debate here, but if it's a big deal then discussing it with people who know it first hand might be a better way to go about it. And, don't trust the mental health system, it's a crock of horse *splat* (of course, it does help some people, but generalizing treatment is disgusting in terms of mental health when even the same disorders are individual)

Excellent comment Revolte, and if I may just add what will happen if you do go to the doctor seeking a referral what they will ask is can you function in society, can you hold down a job and a relationship, since the answer to that as far as this thread is concerned is yes (don't know about the job, don't think it was mentioned) then you have no chance of a referral.

No doctor is going to refer you to a psychiatrist on your mum's say so if otherwise everything seems to be fine (just the usual youthful angst about life).

Sorry Darcy, but if you don't believe me just try and get a referral on the basis of what you have said on here, it won't happen.

[Buh4Bee]

I agree, you really should get the information from a licensed medical professional.

[Shea]

Okay, so I don't have time to read ALL the posts in this thread, but from the first several ones, Darcy, I have to say, you sound - in part - like me. I now know what's wrong with me, but I have a few other symptoms that helped to point me in the right direction.

Have you ever heard of celiac disease or gluten intolerance? I did a quick "find" on the pages of this thread and didn't see it mentioned. There are connections with gluten to ADHD, autism, depression, anxiety, as well as a myriad of physical problems. There are actually over 200 symptoms of celiac and not everyone has the same ones. This is why it's so difficult to figure out and many people are labeled as hypochondriac. Another reason I think this fits what you describe is that it is a genetic problem and you mentioned your family's behavior.


I had some intense digestive pain last summer for about a month and once I figured out what was going on I cut gluten from my diet. Not only did I feel better physically, but I felt like cotton was removed from my head. My thinking became clearer. Anxiety, depression, irritablity were greatly reduced (what I have now, I blame on PMS :) ) I was also no longer exhausted. I used to be able to easily sleep a 12 hour stretch and it would take 5 alarm clocks to wake me up. Unfortunately I now have bouts of insomnia after recovering from accidentally eating gluten, but it stabilizes after a while.

This literally is a quick blip of what I think might help you. If you're interested, I can give you more info. Let me know.

[The Kid]

Shea: Regarding gluten, I think you are right. I have a couple family members (not blood-related to each other, they are from opposite sides of the family) who also had similar issues and after seeing several doctors they each concluded that they must cut gluten from their diet. It has helped each of them enormously.