nudda one now

[Jack of Hearts]

Delete

[Bar22do]

I hurry to comment before you dare delete something here - PLEASE DO NOT. It's excellent. My favorite line

turn off the lamp or my shades stay on

but the whole poem flows so beautifully, just deviate from the drain, PLEASE. Even if Love has gone there...

I missed reading you, Jack, so - thanks for this one!!!!!

[YesNo]

I enjoyed this especially the last three lines. This is a nice description of someone not taking care of himself but having a friend looking out for him.

[AuntShecky]

This one's informal, refreshing. One two-part question though: why is the girl, who I assume is the hostess, pouring good liquor down the sink? And why is it "formless."

Nonetheless, I love the open-ended last line--"on the brink." I get it! It's
more sarcastic than a cri de coeur.

[DocHeart]

Turn off the lamp or my shades stay on.
The lightbulb burns like angry dawn
and the lampshade is useless.



Why is it so hard for people to understand the need for darkness?



And I devolve into lyrics
as formless as the liquor she pours into the sink.

I'm the droplet near the drain, on the brink.

I love the last line.

DH

[Bar22do]

Delete

Jack! Poem back! :flare:

[billl]

Ha-haaah!

You missed it, this one was kind-of top-notch!